Well, dear readers, what a splendidly splendid thirtieth anniversary bash we had here at haineshisway.com. I can’t imagine spending it with a more special group of folks than you hainsies/kimlets. The posts were amazing, so if you happened to be errant and truant or even truant and errant, check them out. Especially the Russian review of The First Nudie Musical, the translation of which is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. The day began for me quite late – I was so overtired from sleeping only two hours the night before that I slept until eleven o’clock in the morning. That was helped by the fact that it was so gray out that it still looked and felt like evening. I got up, made some phone calls and attended to some business, and then the partay began right here at haineshisway.com. I put on one of my new shirts and I must say I am quite the fashion plate now. My little journey to Armani Wells, run by my new pal Claudia Wells, has proven to be quite the revelation for me. She knew exactly what I would look good in, and what I would feel comfortable wearing. And looking at myself in this really nice casual shirt, rather than my usual shlumpy t-shirt or polo shirt, I must say she was completely correct. She was also correct in that it felt totally comfortable on me. Tonight I shall be wearing more of her creations when I attend the opening of Private Lives at the Pasadena Playhouse. I usually look shlumpy there, wearing a Writer’s Block polo shirt, or some other kind of pullover. But tonight I shall be wearing a nice shirt, new slacks and an Armani sport coat. I tell you, I shall be quite the fashion plate. Anyway, there I was, in my new shirt, being quite the fashion plate. I wrote for a while, still fleshing out my good but not nearly long enough first act. I then went to pick up some packages, only there weren’t any to pick up. I then came back, made more phone calls, and then Mr. Kevin Spirtas came over and we went through the outline of the show. The first act seems really solid now, structurally, and we only have one song left to choose. It should run around forty to forty-five minutes. I could instantly see that the second act is still not right, but even in talking about it I could see a way to open the act and then bring it back on track, so that was good. We have six or seven songs (some in a medley) to choose, and that has to get done in the next few days. Our goal is to have this up on its feet and ready to go by the end of June, since Kevin’s first two dates are in mid-July, here in Los Angeles. I then went to dinner with my pal, Mr. David Wechter. We had a lovely dinner of barbecue food at the Valley Ranch, the restaurant where The Faculty was birthed. And I do believe we now have a project that is its equal. David had a notion, basically one line that he mentioned to me two weeks ago. I thought it was clever, and threw back some ideas, and within two hours we had five pages of very good ideas. At dinner, we figured out a structure, most of the characters, and a bunch of detail. We plan to split up the writing and work together via computer for the first draft. Then we’ll sit together for the second draft and any subsequent polishing. We’re both very excited about it. I then came home, watched the rest of a DVD, and cleaned up some stuff around the home environment. All in all, a perfectly perfect day.
Last night, I finished watching a motion picture on DVD entitled Phantom of the Opera, the musical by Mr. Andrew Lloyd Webber, directed by Mr. Joel Schumacher. Now, before I start, let me say that I had no expectations, either positive or negative, about the film. I just went in hoping it would be great and that I would enjoy it. I have seen the show several times – it’s not one of my all-time favorites, but it is a marvel of directorial ingenuity (Hal Prince), with gorgeous settings and costumes and a fluid style that is mesmerizing and captivating. As with Cats, it is easy to forget what a thrill ride this show was when it first opened. It has, in recent years, become the object of derision in certain circles. While I don’t think the show as a show is all that wonderful, it does have wonderful things in it, including Mr. Lloyd Webber’s finest work. His melodies are really good in this show, and its success is well-deserved. The film begins on a promising note (Bb). I have read both critics and Internet wannabe critics speak of the brilliant original way in which Joel Schumacher has found to open the film, with the auction sequence. I must not be seeing what they’re seeing because it’s almost verbatim how the show opens. His innovation? Black and white, hardly something new. So, why they’re giving him credit for this sequence is beyond me. In any case, the first ten or fifteen minutes of the film are quite faithful to the play, and I enjoyed myself and had high hopes for the rest. Emmy Rossum was excellent in her first scenes, and I very much enjoyed Think of Me. Unfortunately, those hopes were dashed in the first Phantom sequence in Christine’s dressing room, which I thought was awkwardly directed, with none of the stage magic (quite cinematic in its own way) of the Phantom’s first appearance. Without belaboring the point, from Mr. Butler’s entrance the film is over. He is simply not the Phantom, certainly not for me anyway. He is too young, he behaves like a surly hockey player and his singing is painful to hear. For me, he had the sex appeal of borscht. Patrick Wilson is Raoul, and for me he is not comfortable on screen – I see the mechanics and not the reality. He is not helped by the pageboy wig he wears. Soon thereafter, I knew I was watching a Joel Schumacher film when he had one of the stagehands moon his bare ass at Minnie Driver. Joel, shame on you. Minnie Driver was amusing, but for me it would be like having Debbie Gravitte play it on stage – in other words, it was like a vaudeville turn and I never believed her for one second. Judy Kaye, on the other hand, played the diva but you believed it – that is because Judy Kaye knows how to be a diva and she has the vocal chops to prove it. I liked Miranda Richardson and I liked the girl who played Meg. But, it all kept coming back to the Phantom, and that little error in casting sank the film for me. He has no mystery, no sexiness, no hypnotic power, so one never understands his hold over Christine. Then there are the changes – the addition of a flashback to show the Phantom as a child. Mr. Schumacher and company suddenly stop doing Phantom of the Opera and for ten minutes we get The Elephant Man, complete with the sack over his face. The chandelier fall has been moved to just before the finale, a silly decision. They also keep cutting back to the black and white footage of old Raoul, which just keeps taking you out of the story for no good reason. And then, there is the unmasking. In the show, the Phantom’s disfigurement is suitably horrifying. In the film, it’s not much of anything. It looks like a little bit of the side of his face has some unattractive lumps, some redness, and it looks like he had a bad haircut on that side. It’s not horrifying at all, and that, too, is fatal. I think everyone seemed quite surprised when they found that most of the country was not having this film – it underperformed in the US, and its overseas grosses, to me, were grossly overinflated and not real. Even with the misreporting, the film cannot make back its costs, not even if it sold a million DVDs. I think one reason for this was the decision, right or wrong, to keep all the recitative. I just don’t think today’s audiences understand or want to understand that conceit. It’s one thing for them to buy Chicago (not quite the hit that everyone would like you to think it is), where people occasionally sing ironic songs that counterpoint action, but it’s another to listen to sung dialogue. Back in the sixties you might have gotten away with it – Umbrellas of Cherbourg certainly did, but today, you barely get away with songs, let alone recitative. The film looks good, but for all its CGI and luma cranes and steadicam and all the other fancy new camera mounts and devices, it never achieves an ounce of the magic and awe the stage version has. The orchestra sounds great, and Miss Rossum sings well, as does Mr. Wilson.
The extras are better than the film, I hate to say. We get a seventy-minute program on the show, which is the best thing in this set, although why Mr. Crawford didn’t participate is certainly an enigma. You’d think, given that he didn’t do the film, that he’d want to stress his importance to the show. But, no, I suspect his ego has precluded him from doing that. There are lots of shots from the stage show, those awful music videos from when the show opened, and even wonderful glimpses of its first incarnation at Sydmonton, with Colm Wilkinson. The other three programs are about the film and, as you’d expect, they all clap themselves on the back about how brilliant they all are. It’s a load of hooey, as most of these things are. The one important little tidbit that slips out of the music producer’s mouth is the fact that two weeks before shooting they hadn’t pre-recorded anything and that he thought that was strange. That’s a good spin on what was basically a bunch of people running around not knowing what they were doing. It finally occurred to someone (Mr. Lloyd Webber, in fact) to say, hey, shouldn’t we be prerecording something if we’re to be shooting in two weeks. What they don’t say is that everyone was rushed into the studio to record to a piano track. They spin that a bit differently, but it’s what happened. Ultimately, after shooting was finished they had to electronically click all the prerecords and the orchestra had to play to them. The singers then, in some cases, rerecorded their vocals to the orchestra. The only problem then was that nothing really sunk up to what was on screen. None of these people had a clue how to make a film musical, but you’d think that one of them would have asked someone. So, several people were hired to spend weeks synching everything up, painful step by painful step, in Pro Tools. That is one of the main reasons the film went over budget. Just carefully check out the names under Music Editors and, for those fans of my recordings, you will see two familiar names and the familiar name of a studio. That will tell you the story. The transfer looks terrific, and the sound is robust, although a bit light in surround action.
What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Don’t I have to be a fashion plate soon? Why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because this section is even longer than yesterday’s long section and that is too damned long if you ask me.
I tell you, tomorrow we will have short notes, since she of the Evil Eye will be coming. Tomorrow I will also be attending a special partay, about which more when I get back from said partay. I will then be going to see the Hamilton High School production of Thoroughly Modern Millie. I will be attending with our very own Thoroughly Modern Miss Juliana A. Hansen. I will, of course, have a full report for you.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must write, I must pick up packages, I must attend an opening night whilst looking like a fashion plate, and I must dine afterwards. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Friday – what is currently in your CD player and your DVD/video player? I’ll start – CD, two new Joe Hisaishi “image” albums from Miyazaki films, courtesy of dear reader Hisaka. DVD, coming up next, more Kojak, and more westerns. Your turn. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we?