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June 30, 2005:

A PINCH OF SNUFF

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, this fershluganah sore throat, which I thought was completely gone, is completely here again. I think it’s because of the inordinate amount of coughing I’ve been doing, at least I hope that’s what it is. I am just relentlessly bored of not being completely up to snuff. What does that mean, anyway? Up to snuff. What does snuff have to do with the price of turnips. And what do turnips have to do with the price of snuff. Well, I say snuff already, I wish to be well. Perhaps if I had some snuff I’d feel better. Does anyone still use snuff? Does anyone still wear a hat. Does anyone get the idea that I have gone completely delusional with my completely sore throat? I wish to have snuff. I wish to have a little snuff box, so I can wear my Louis the 14th outfit with the frilly cuffs, and I can take a pinch of snuff when I damn well feel like it. But, snuff about me. Yesterday, I had a non-stop day. It started with the usual phone calls about the usual things. Then I had a ninety-minute meeting with my co-director from LACC. We discussed many ideas, people, style, and structure, and we both took notes. Hopefully, out of those notes will come some sort of form for our event. I then had a lunch meeting with Miss Tammy Minoff. We’re pushing our play reading until the last week of July, because there were a few conflicts with July 11th, which is when we were going to do it. Then Tammy’s brother came over. It’s Tammy’s brother who will be doing all the shipping for Kritzerland. Today we organized. We cleaned out the whole side of the garage as a work area for him. That took quite a while and it was quite a workout for an old Jew who hasn’t had a pinch of snuff. Then he left, and I wrote one line of my new short story, after finally coming up with a title that I really like. I then finally put an end to the day, and sat down and relaxed like so much fish.

Last night I watched a motion picture on DVD entitled I’m Dancing as Fast As I Can, the story of Valium-addicted documentarian Barbara Gordon. I hadn’t seen it before. It’s a good little TV movie sort of film, with really excellent performances and an earnest script by Mr. David Rabe. It’s quite difficult to watch at times, but it moves right along. The actors are really wonderful – it’s my second Jill Clayburgh film this week. She does a bang-up job with a mostly unlikable character. Geraldine Page is terrific, as always. Nicol Williamson has a very difficult role which he does really well with, and there is wonderful support from Joe Pesci, Dianne Weist, Ellen Greene, Daniel Stern, and others. I can’t say I’ll ever watch it again, but it was nice to see it. Transfer is what you’d expect from a film made in 1980 or thereabouts – grainy, and not pretty.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below, because I’ve got some rather astonishing news to share with you, which I shall share right after I’ve had a pinch of snuff. A Pinch of Snuff – that sounds like an early ’60s comedy with Maurice Chevalier, Louis Jourdan, Sophia Loren, and Margaret Rutherford, doesn’t it?

The astonishing news I have to share with you is this: It is the final day of June. Can you believe it? I can’t. I mean, why don’t we just say it’s December already, since that’s how fast it seems the year is going. Tomorrow will be July. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, tomorrow will be July. I hope you all believe me, because, after all, why would a Jew lie? We don’t allow groaning here at haineshisway.com.

I do believe I’m supposed to go to Mr. Grant Geissman’s home environment in the next day or two to enter the corrections on the galley. Then I must immediately send said galley to my friend, Mr. Dick Lochte, who is going to blurb the book for me.

I tell you, we must all have snuff. Snuff is the stuff. One can’t have enough. Has anyone here actually had snuff? What exactly is snuff, anyway? I’m sure one of our many learned hainsies/kimlets can provide us with a history of snuff.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must write, I must organize, I must make telephone calls, I must do errands, I must pick up packages (several are already overdue), and I must eat various and sundried foodstuffs. Today’s topic of conversation: We do this from time to time, but I always enjoy it – what are your biggest wants that have yet to make it to CD (and yes, Virginia, there is plenty that hasn’t made it to CD yet)? You know, those treasured LPs that you would love to have properly done on CD. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst we all put on our Louis the 14th costumes with the frilly cuffs, and have a pinch of snuff.

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