Well, dear readers, today I wish to set a new record for writing these here notes quickly. I shall not think, I shall not ponder, I shall just write whatever comes into my head and that will be that. Why must “that” always be “that?” Can’t “that” be “this” once in a fershluganah while? And, they’re off and running. I am typing so fast that my brain can barely keep up with my fingers. Or should that be my fingers can barely keep up with my brain? I haven’t a clew and I can’t stop to think about it because I wish to set a new record for writing these here notes quickly. I’m not even going to bother with segues. What care I for tinsel and segues when we can just jump willy-nilly and also nilly-willy into a new sentence? Not one or even two whits, that’s what I care. My Powerbook keyboard is smokin’. Yesterday, for example, I had a day. I lunched, I proofed all my short stories (five thus far), and then took them over to Staples and made a copy for my friend Margaret. If she likes them, then I shall carry on and write five more. I’m out of breath already, so fast am I typing these here notes. I already covered all of yesterday in thirty seconds flat, or forty seconds round. Whew, that’s all I have to say. Whew, which, of course, is wehw, spelled backwards. What else did I do yesterday? Oh, yes, I shipped some packages, and picked up the one package that was waiting for me – the hard copy of my galley. I’m going through it quickly, just to make sure all is well, and then I shall sign off on it and await the cover proofs, which should be coming this very week. I tell you, I shall be setting a new world’s record for writing these here notes. Perhaps I’ll even set a new Guiness Book of World Records for writing these here notes. Of course, there really isn’t an old Guiness Book of World Records to beat, is there? The Guiness Book of World Records doesn’t know from these here notes. Damn them, damn them all to hell.
Last night I watched two count them two motion pictures on DVD. Man, did I get to this paragraph fast. I am speeding, I tell you, like a gazelle with a hot foot. The first motion picture I watched on DVD was entitled To Kill a Mockingbird. This is the brand spanking new Extra Special Edition. The packaging is lovely, and it comes with a whole set of color reproductions of various and sundried Mockingbird posters from around the world. The movie, of course, is wonderful – a beautiful adaptation of my favorite book, and a simple, heartfelt rendering by writer Horton Foote and director Robert Mulligan. The cast is perfection right on down the line. Gregory Peck IS Atticus Finch. Philip Alford and Mary Badham are terrific as Jem and Scout, as is John Megna (brother of Miss Connie Stevens) as Dill. Brock Peters is heartbreaking as Tom Robinson – filled with dignity and honesty. And Collin Wilcox is breathtaking as Mayella Ewell. Frank Overton is his usual excellent self as the sheriff, Kim Stanley’s few lines of narration are lovely, and Robert Duvall does so much with his five minutes of screen time, it’s just a lesson in great acting. I, of course, blubbered like a baby from the first scene to the last. And the score. It may well just be one of the five greates scores ever written for the screen. At one point in the little bit of the commentary track that I listened to, Alan Pakula says, “Students of film should try watching the film without the score.” He’s right – it simply would not be the same film. Mr. Elmer Bernstein’s music is the movie – every piece of it just elevates the scenes that are scored into the heavens. The first DVD release had the long documentary on it, but the transfer wasn’t enhanced for widescreen TVs. The new transfer is, but I wish I could say I thought it was great. There’s nothing wrong with it, really, and some of it does look wonderful, but too often medium and long shots are soft, and it just seems to grainy to me. It looks like they went off some internegative that’s at least a generation away from the camera negative. I saw this film so many times in the theater, and I just remember vividly how beautiful those prints were. And actually, a theory was put forth to me that this release has actually been done for a few years (along with The Sting) and that Universal has just sat on it until now. That could explain why it doesn’t look as sharp as it should, what with all the techniques they have now to do these things. I’m also really curious about the commentary track which, I don’t believe, was part of the first DVD release or the laserdisc. Since Mr. Pakula has been dead since the end of 1998, one wonders where or when this full-length commentary was done. Maybe they just pieced it together from the documentary or something – it makes no sense to me. Maybe one of you dear readers can find out something about it. Otherwise, it’s got a little silly reminiscence from Mary Badham (Scout) that is really just her talking on some TV show from 1999. It’s got the feature-length documentary that was on the first DVD release, and it’s got a documentary on Gregroy Peck, done by his daughter. I’m very happy to have this, but I do wish the image was just a little better. I then watched the second motion picture on DVD, which was entitled The Sting. What a swell movie it is. Well-directed, well-written, and with all that star power and all those great character actors. It’s really just entrancing. Of course, it is, as I always say, unthinkable that these two films could be made today. They would muck them up in every conceivable way. The Sting, starring George Clooney and Brad Pitt, with Billy Bob Thornton as the bad guy. That just makes me want to vomit on the ground. It is wonderful to finally have this on DVD in its proper screen ratio, and enhanced for widescreen TVs. Again, I wish I could say it was perfect but, like Mockingbird, it isn’t. It just doesn’t seem sharp enough to my eye. Lots of extras, which I plan on watching as soon as I’m through writing these here notes.
What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? That long paragraph slowed me down a bit. I’ve got to catch up or, at the very least, ketchup. I must set a new record for writing these here notes. Why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I must be the mad typer, I must be speedy BK, so to it, I say, to it.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Here’s where I’m going to get slowed down. Here’s where I have to put on the breaks and answer the Unseemly Trivia Contest question and go find out who are winners are and use the Electronic Hat. Oh, boy. Here we go. Here was the question:
It was a wonderful theatrical season on Broadway, for both plays and musicals. However, there were three plays which did not fare well – two of them closed within three weeks, and one managed to eke out about two-and-a-half months. However, all three flops had very interesting casts, and that is what we will be concentrating on in this contest. Flop one was written by someone who was much better known as a screenwriter of several classic films. It was directed by a very famous director of both plays and musicals. The incidental music for the play was by someone who was not known for being a composer – but who was very influential in the world of musical theater. The female lead would go on to become a hugely successful Academy Award-winning star. One of the male leads would go on to star in a highly acclaimed and very influential musical. One of the female co-stars would go on to become a well-known sex kitten. And another of the male co-stars would go on to co-star in one of the most iconic films ever made.
Flop two had a very brief run, but is author had had at least two huge Broadway successes prior to this flop. The play’s male star would go on to become a hugely successful film star, and one of his co-stars in this play would appear in the film that made this gentleman into a superstar, and one of the most important Hollywood players of his era. The female star was more known for musical theater rather than plays. Even though the play was a flop, it was turned into a flop movie, albeit with a different title.
Flop three was written by someone who would go on to write several extremely interesting films. It was directed by a legendary director of both plays and musicals. Interestingly, the flop’s male and female stars would both go on to do separate beloved sitcoms – both beloved sitcoms happened to star the same person.
Name flop one, its writer, and its director.
Name the composer of the incidental music, and what he did that was so influential in the musical theater world.
Name the female lead who would win an Academy Award.
Name the male co-star who would star in an influential musical and name the musical.
Name the well-known sex-kitten.
Name the actor who would co-star in one of the most iconic films ever made.
Name flop two and its author.
Name the play’s leading man who would go on to become a huge star and Hollywood player, and name his co-star who would appear with him in the movie that turned the actor into a superstar.
Name the female star who was more known for musical theater than for plays.
Name the title of the film version of the play.
Name flop three, its author, and its legendary director.
Name the male and female stars, and name the two sitcoms on which they would appear opposite the same person.
Oh, boy. I must go faster, faster, faster than a speeding bullet. Here are the answers:
There Was A Little Girl. Daniel Taradash. Joshua Logan.
Lehman Engel, who created the BMI Workshop.
Jane Fonda.
Dean Jones – Company.
Joey Heatherton.
Gary Lockwood (2001: A Space Odyssey).
A Loss Of Roses. William Inge.
Warren Beatty – Michael J. Pollard (Bonnie and Clyde).
Carol Haney.
The Stripper
Golden Fleecing. Lorenzo Semple, Jr. Abe Burrows.
Tom Poston and Suzanne Pleshette (The Bob Newhart Show/Newhart).
Oh, boy. Gotta move, baby. Our winners are: FJL, JMK, sigersonholmes, and Jed. And our Electronic Hat has chosen completely at random our High Winner: Jed. So, if Jed will send his address, he will receive a sparkling prize. Congratulations to one and all and also all and one.
Today I must lunch with an old pal o’ mine, I must have a dinner meeting with our producer, and I must attend to all sorts of things that need attending to, including signing off on the galley, and perhaps even starting a new short story.
So much for going fast. Just hold the phone, halt the train, stop the world. We must put on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, we must break out the cheese slices and the ham chunks, we must dance the Hora and the Texas Two-Step, for today is the birthday of our very own dear reader TCB. So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to our very own dear reader TCB. On the count of three: One, two, three- A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO OUR VERY OWN DEAR READER TCB!!!
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must do it all, I must do it fast, I must do it now, gotta move, baby, I’ve got to be faster than a speeding bullet, I must, after all, set a new record. Well, I didn’t. I didn’t set a new record. In fact, it took me longer to write these here notes than it did to write yesterday’s notes. How can that be? Well, tomorrow is another day, oh, yes, tomorrow is another day. Today’s topic of discussion: What are your all-time favorite films of Paul Newman and Robert Redford? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we? I must go rest now, as my fingers are raw and bleeding from being the mad typer.