Well, dear readers, I have now written thirty-three opening sentences, all of which were of dubious quality. Do you know what it is like to write thirty-three opening sentences and then decide they are of dubious quality? Well, I’ll tell you what it’s like – it’s like writing thirty-three opening sentences of dubious quality, that’s what it’s like. Ah, but the thirty-fourth sentence did the trick. It did the disappearing handkerchief trick (I love that one). The thirty-fourth sentence was the right one and then and only then could I move on and write these here notes. I don’t want to dwell too much longer on this paragraph, however. These opening paragraphs have been very unwieldy of late. Of course, it would have really been unwieldy had I kept each and every one of the thirty-three opening sentences. Speaking of unwieldy, I had a very light and unassuming day yesterday. I shipped some stuff, I had a nice lunch consisting of the cuisine of Mexico, I finished doing story fixes (except for that damned last line – it just isn’t right yet – I’ll keep slogging away until it is), and I had some lovely telephonic calls with various and sundried folks. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?
Last night I watched two count them two motion pictures on DVD. The first motion picture on DVD was entitled Ben-Hur, which I actually began watching the night before. Ben-Hur is a long film about Ben-Hur. It’s well-directed by Mr. William Wyler, and it’s quite enjoyable, although I prefer both Spartacus and King of Kings. I’m going to just cut to the chase and discuss the transfer. There has been a lot of nitpicking and complaining about this transfer, with some young idiots saying the previous transfer was sharper (they were saying that because they were comparing bad screen shots on a site – they hadn’t even viewed the transfer – that’s how stupid these people are). The previous transfer was taken from a 35mm negative and even though its ratio was the properly wide 2:76, the sides of the film were completely cut off because, as I understand it, they zoomed in on the image to make it be a ratio that one couldn’t extract from the 2:35 negative ratio. This new transfer is, for the most part, incredibly sharp, and the color is a thousand percent more true to the original color of the film. It is so obvious that you’d have to be a true nincompoop not to see it. In fact, in the extremely long and new retrospective documentary, the clips used are from the older transfer, and the difference is astonishing. Also, the new transfer is from the 65mm elements and therefore the entire frame is presented on home video for the first time. There is some minor occasional flickering that people have pointed out, but it mostly happens in shots that have mattes and opticals, so it was, most likely, always there. The 5.1 mix has also come in for some criticism (it may be the same exact mix from the previous DVD), but it sounds pretty great to my ears. I am looking forward to watching the silent version of Ben-Hur, as well as the rest of the supplements. I then watched the second motion picture on DVD, which was entitled The Morning After. Silly me. I hated this movie when I saw it originally, but (and you’d think I’d learn), I read some comments saying how great some of the dialogue was, and how great Jane Fonda was, and how funny and scary it was. Well, I don’t think so. I don’t know what it was about the 80s that defeated so many of our wonderful directors, but The Verdict aside, Sidney Lumet made some of the worst movies I’ve ever seen all throughout that decade, none worse than The Morning After. The real culprit is the writer – the screenplay is so bad on so many levels, it’s astonishing it got made. But, this was the era of the bad thriller. Shockingly, Jane Fonda was nominated for an Oscar for this tripe – one of her worst performances, one of those all show and tell Oscar bait performances I so loathe. The score by Paul Chihara is so bad that it actually becomes the only amusing thing in the movie. Bruce Vilanch has one scene as a bartender – if you have Mr. Vilanch in a scene it is hard to imagine that he could be unfunny. Imagine it. I hated every single minute of the film and the DVD is going back today.
Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below before I write thirty-three sentences trying to close this section of these here notes.
Well, if it’s Saturday, it must be time for an Unseemly Trivia Contest. I think everyone reading these here notes should take a stab at answering today’s question. And here it is:
Although there were a few undeniable hits this particular season, it was a season filled with failures. Once such flop was a musical. This musical was written by someone who would go on to achieve a peculiar sort of fame doing something else. The music was by a person whose one and only Broadway musical this was. It starred someone who had, a few seasons earlier, starred in a hit musical. It also starred a character actor much better known for his roles in films, including one of the best-known films of all-time, in which he has a rather infamous scene. It also featured someone who would go on to have a hand in one of the most famous shows ever done on Broadway. It also featured an actress who would create a famous role in a Broadway musical over a decade later, her first real Broadway hit. The show also featured a young man who would go on to appear in two classic musicals a short time later. This young man, prior to his Broadway career, had two other interesting and very different careers. The show was directed by someone, who in addition to his Broadway credits, had directed in both film and television quite successfully. Finally, the show’s choreographer would go on to choreograph a seminal musical. So…
Name the flop musical.
Name the writer who would go on to achieve a peculiar sort of fame doing something else.
Name the composer.
Name the show’s star.
Name the character actor, and name the film in which he had a rather infamous and well-remembered scene.
Name the person who would go on to have a hand in one of the most famous Broadway shows ever done.
Name the actress who would go on to create a famous role in a Broadway musical over a decade later.
Name the young man, and the two classic musicals he would be featured in just a few years later. Name his other two interesting careers.
Name the director.
Name the choreographer.
Whew! Remember: DO NOT POST YOUR ANSWERS TO THE SITE. Send them to me at bruce@haineshisway.com (and don’t worry if you get a bounced mail notice – I get the e-mails). Remember, you have until midnight Monday to submit your answers. Good luck to one and all and also all and one.
I have no plans whatsoever today. I may take a nice drive in my motor car, or I may just lounge about the home environment like a gazelle in fishnet stockings. I shall try to eat something interesting. In fact, I may be having breakfast with our very own Mr. Kevin Spirtas.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must write, I must catch up on my DVD viewing, I must hopefully pick up a package or three, and I must ship a couple of Kevin CDs. Today’s topic of discussion: What are your all-time favorite bubble-gum classics and your all-time favorite driving music – that music you love to have on whilst tooling around, when you were younger, and now. Let’s have loads of lovely postings shall we? We shall, or I shall write thirty-three closing sentences right this very minute.