Well, dear readers, here we are on a Monday – not only a Monday but a holiday Monday. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, today is a holiday; specifically the day we celebrate Columbus Day. Few people remember that Columbus Day is a distant relation of both Doris and Laraine Day. For some reason, both Miss Days refused to acknowledge this fact, for reasons known only to them. Columbus Day was born in 1899, and from all accounts he was a genius from an early age. When he was ten, for example, he liked to lie in bed and read books under the covers. Of course, since it was dark, it was a problem seeing what he was trying to read. Being the resourceful young fellow he was, he jerry rigged a small light that he could hold under the covers and therefore see his book. He called this invention the Daylight. He tried to patent his invention, but he didn’t really know what a patent was, and therefore his next door neighbor, Herman J. Flash patented it and called it the Flashlight, and the rest is history. Columbus Day then turned his talents to ladies’ cosmetics. He invented a sort of red powder, which, when applied to a lady’s face, would give the lady a certain glowing appearance. He called his invention Dayglo, but unfortunately, once again, before he protected himself, a gentleman by the name of Ferdinand Rouge patented his red powder, and the rest is history. Columbus Day then went into seclusion and only came out in the evening. Whilst out when night, a brilliant idea came to him – he figured out how a motion picture could shoot in the afternoon put have it look like evening. He called his invention Day for night, and he knew Hollywood would embrace his new technological brilliance. They did, but only because Stanton Knight got there first – the rest is history. Columbus Day died at the age of thirty-four without ever having known his dream of success, which he called his Daydream. And so, today we celebrate Columbus Day, distant relation to Laraine and Doris, and the great unsung hero of the Day. At this time, I would just like to say that if anyone has a clew as to what the HELL I’m going on about, they should just keep it to themselves.
I must say, I spent a rather lazy day in the home environment yesterday. I just couldn’t get up the energy to do anything or to go to either screening that was available to me. I fell asleep several times during the day. I was even doing a bit of reading outside and fell asleep mid-page. That was most unusual. In fact, it was a most unusual Day, probably in honor of today’s Columbus Day.
Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I have spent enough time on the history of Columbus Day, and I’m quite certain that the next section will hold several interesting tidbits of information. As we click, let us sing Cole Porter’s paean to Columbus Day, Night and Day.
Yesterday, I watched two count them two motion pictures on DVD. The first motion picture on DVD was entitled The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane, starring Miss Jodie Foster, Mr. Martin Sheen, and Miss Alexis Smith. I saw this film when it was first released and liked it just fine. Not a great piece of cinema, but it was short and sweet, and more of a character study than a thriller chiller. It’s actually held up very well, and probably seems even better than it did back then. I love movies with a lot of rain, and there is quite a lot of rain in this film. Miss Foster gives a terrific performance, and Mr. Sheen is annoying and creepy, as he should be. The back of the DVD box says that Mr. Sheen plays a neighbor who torments Jodie. He doesn’t – he plays Miss Alexis Smith’s perverted (read pedophile) son. I wonder if the people who write the box copy actually bother to find out anything about the film they’re commenting on. Again, as I always seem to say, they couldn’t make a movie like this today. It just ambles along, tells its tiny tale, and is more about mood and character than thrills and chills. Yes, people die, people threaten and are creepy, but it doesn’t go for the visceral ever. Hence, I enjoyed it very much. The transfer from MGM/UA is very nice, something I usually can’t say about MGM/UA. I then watched the second motion picture on DVD, which was entitled The Leopard Man. I’m quite fond of The Leopard Man, which was adapted from one of my favorite Cornell Woolrich books, Black Alibi. It’s part of the new Val Lewton box set, which I’ll be talking more about as I go through the films. The packaging of the set is terrific. Back to The Leopard Man, it’s quite an effective little film, directed with much style by the great Jacques Tourneur. Several sequences are really moody and frightening, especially a young girl’s nocturnal walk home after her mother sent her out for some corn meal. I wish I could say the elements used for the transfer were great, but they aren’t and it’s a pity, for these films deserve better. I know people will automatically cut Warner Bros. some slack, just because they’re Warner Bros. But, the fact is, if this set came from Universal or Sony, the outcry would be loud and long. Most annoying about the transfer (the elements, really) are the endless parade of negative dirt – those white specks that leap across the screen. I don’t mind a few, but they really run rampant here, and it’s actually harmful to one’s enjoyment of the film, which is all shot in shadows, with shafts of dark and light. In one of the film’s great moments, a girl is walking through a tunnel and sees the leopard’s glowing eyes – it’s a great shock moment, only here there are about ten other white specks on the screen to distract your eye from seeing the leopard’s eyes. I also watched the documentary (I know, I shouldn’t), and it’s the same old dreary crapola – two USC professors, some weird-looking “film scholars” and then, mercifully, some people who are actually related to people who worked on the films. Of course, the entire documentary has wall-to-wall “scary” music from the films, and it’s so annoying that you just want to tell the leopard to go take care of the idiots who do these things. Note to idiots: Wall-to-wall music is mind-numbing and it fights the talking. I’ll have more to say as I continue watching the films, but I’ve already begun The Seventh Victim, and, while better-looking than The Leopard Man, it doesn’t look nearly as good as it could or should.
What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Don’t I have a Day ahead of me? I do, I do, and that Day is Columbus Day. We also hope and trust that today will be Book Day, and that I’ll have said books before noon, so I can get them and the sparkling something-or-others all packaged up and ready to post tomorrow. I’m also expecting some other packages which may or may not be here today, depending on how they were shipped.
Well, dear readers, I must take the Day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, really buckle down Winsocki and write a page or five, I must go back to storage and get the piece of sheet music I forgot to get on Saturday (this one a song of mine for the LACC benefit), I must hopefully pick up boxes of books, and I must do several errands throughout the Day. Today’s topic of discussion: We haven’t had an official food Day in quite a while – so, tell us your perfect Day’s meals. Start with your perfect breakfast, move on to your perfect lunch, and top it off with your perfect dinner and dessert, all described in loving detail. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst we all celebrate the brilliance of that Daydreamer – Columbus Day.