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December 6, 2005:

THE HAINES REPORT

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, I must speed through these here notes because I will be awakened by a telephonic call in just three hours, at which point I shall be on my way to the Oakland airport for my flight home. So, here’s how it all went. I arrived at the theater at one. I rehearsed my one and only time at four-thirty. I felt it was laying a big old egg – I was told I was confined to a very small space because of the lighting, and that was very constraining to me. But, the director came back and told me I had the whole stage to play with. So, I used the next hour by myself, thinking up staging and fun things to do. They managed to get a complete run-through during the afternoon, so that was good. By the time that was finished it was six o’clock, so everyone just ate sandwiches and hung around for the seven-thirty curtain. Jim Brewer, the producer, and an old pal of mine from LACC days, was expecting half a house. But, it turned out to be completely full. We started twenty minutes late because of it. One could tell the audience was completely with the show right from the start. The first act, surprisingly, ran only one hour, which was great. The second act was longer, an hour twenty, but that seemed okay, too. There were some fifty Sondheim songs in all, a few too many, I think. The cast did very well, although the audience favorite was a little twelve year old girl who just brought the house down with her version of my arrangement of Back in Business from my Sondheim at the Movies album. It was nice to meet Lisa Vroman, and we’re going to get-together when she’s back home in LA.

Now, I know you’re all dying to know how Mr. Guy Haines did. I watched him from the wings – he was in very good voice, performing A Parade In Town. He had all these balloons that kept blocking his face, though. He was introduced as the elusive Guy Haines – a singer who has never really been seen before, herein making his San Francisco debut and coming out. He came out, all right, with the fershluganah balloons. The whole number was about balloons. He did quite a bit of choreography, and he even threw in a spoken line – “Hello, San Francisco, it’s so good to see you!” At the end of the number, the young girl ran on and stole the balloons from Guy – luckily, he had a parade mask on. Guy was very happy with the reaction to the number. As he put it to me, “I love when 500 people sit there and collectively think, “What the HELL am I watching?” He said that vibe was coming across the footlights strongly. All in all, a fun evening. And, as it turned out, my former assistant at some label I had something to do with was there – Ken. We went out after the show and caught up and it was great to see him again.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below, because I must try and get three hours of sleep.

I tell you, the weekend cannot come fast enough for me. I intend to sleep late, to laze about like a gazelle in a leather bar, and to wear my smoking jacket and pyjamas, along with my leopard-spotted dickie.

Of course, before the weekend comes I’ve got plenty to do. For example, I must take care of everything that I’d let slide for the last week – including some banking and some paying of bills. I must pick up at least two packages that are waiting for me, and I must return scads of e-mails and telephonic messages. And then, this very evening, I must begin rehearsals for my play. Thankfully, tonight is just a read-through. Tomorrow evening, we start blocking.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must be on my way to the airport, I must fly back home, and I must try to relax some during the day, so I at least can be coherent at my rehearsal. Today’s topic of discussion: What are your favorite renditions of Sondheim songs? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I fly home to my comfy sofa, where I will sit like so much fish.

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