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December 11, 2005:

WHAT’S MY SEGUE?

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, it is Sunday. I ask you, where else on all the Internet can you find such information? Nowhere, that’s where. I’m feeling a bit better, but still logey and congested, not necessarily in that order. Yesterday, I spent a relaxing day doing not much of anything. Oh, I could have done things, but I did not want to do things, I wanted to relax and get better. For example, I could have gone to a screening of King Kong, and yet I did not go to a screening of King Kong. I could have gone to a comedy seminar hosted by Miss Lucie Arnaz, and yet I did not go to a comedy seminar hosted by Miss Lucie Arnaz. Instead, I did a few errands, had a plumber fix some water pressure problem (along with a showerhead problem), and I puttered around the home environment like a gazelle on antihistamines. I wonder if there are prohistamines as well as antihistamines? I did not receive any packages, but I did receive two lovely envelopes from AFTRA, each of which contained a residual check. I was very excited when I saw those two unexpected envelopes. My excitement, however, abated as soon as I saw the checks therein – each for $5.23. Do you know how tired I am of phlegm? That, for those of you who might not know, was known as a segue. A segue to phlegm. In any case, I am extremely tired of phlegm. I am also extremely tired of the painful congestion in my chest, which feels like someone is clutching at my heart. Damn them, damn them all to hell. Have I mentioned that I could have gone to a screening of King Kong, and yet I did not go to a screening of King Kong? Now, watch this segue.

Last night, I watched two count them two motion pictures on DVD, both of which were entitled King Kong. How was that for a segue? The first motion picture on DVD was the original King Kong (Gnik Gnok, spelled backwards). The original King Kong is quite an excellent motion picture entertainment, and one I never tire of. All these years later, the effects never fail to astonish. Since everyone knows the film, I shan’t go into detail. I will say that the transfer is very good, taken off a newly-found uncensored British nitrate print. Of course, a print isn’t going to yield a pristine image, and the image here is very grainy, but very sharp, with good contrast. If you want to know what it should like like, just watch the DVD of The Son of Kong, made directly after King Kong. That transfer, off a negative, is incredible. I also watched the exhausting two-and-a-half hour documentary or whatever you call it, and I must say, it’s just ridiculous when these things are almost double the length of the movie. Endless talking heads, the usual suspects saying the usual things, and a lot of Peter Jackson recreating the lost spider sequence, which is a big who cares in my book. I then watched the second motion picture on DVD entitled King Kong, this one the 1976 remake directed by John Guillerman. I remember it being mildly enjoyable, but that was back in 1976 – in 2005 it’s really bad. Really, really bad. Charles Grodin should have been given an award for Ham O’ The Year. The script is terrible, and the “effects” (a man in an ape suit) are pathetic. It’s really no better than King Kong Vs. Godzilla in terms of its effects. The only positive element in the entire film is the lovely score by John Barry. Almost a complete waste of celluloid.

What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I’m sure I’ll have a few more snappy segues up my sleeve.

Damn, there are no snappy segues up my sleeve. In fact, there is nothing up my sleeve because I’m wearing a t-shirt. I hate when that happens.

Tonight I am being taken for a birthday dinner to a restaurant I have never been to. Prior to that, if I feel up to it, I shall attend a little Christmas partay not to far from here.

I’ve got quite a busy week coming up. Tomorrow, for example, I must get together with Miss Linda Purl and her accompanist to play through bunches of songs to see which we like and which are superfluous. I also have some meetings and, of course, I have rehearsals for the play every night. Next weekend is already completely booked as well. And I must start preparing for my annual Christmas Eve do.

Now wait just a darned minute. Quick, let’s put on our pointy party hats once again, let’s break out the cheese slices and the ham chunks once again, let’s dance the Hora and the Horse for today is the actual birthday of actual dear reader Ginny. So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to actual dear reader Ginny. On the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO ACTUAL DEAR READER GINNY!!!

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, sleep in (if possible), I must feel better, I must segue from this to that and also that to this, and I must watch a DVD or three. Today’s topic of discussion: Alan Jay Lerner wrote There’s Always One You Can’t Forget – who is the one you can’t forget? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst we segue directly to the Discussion Board.

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