Well, dear readers, may I just ask one question? Where in tarnation did the first half of January go? How can it already be the middle of January when it was just the end of December? I tell you, I am bewildered by such things. In any case, here we are in the middle of January and things are moving right along like a gazelle in heat. My goodness, I am bewitched by that image, aren’t you? Now wait just a darned minute – do you realize that I’ve been both bewildered and bewitched within the same paragraph? I tell you, I am really bothered by that. Now wait just a darned minute – do you realize that I’ve been bewitched, bothered, and bewildered in the same paragraph? Yes, Virginia, bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I, rather like a gazelle in heat. What am I, Rodgers and Hart all of a sudden? Speaking of a gazelle in heat, yesterday, instead of having a holiday, I worked for four hours. First, I met Miss Linda Purl at Mr. Ron Abel’s house, and we spent two hours dealing with two sections of new material for Linda’s new show. One thing I’d suggested, a big-band medley (if Linda could go back in time she’d have wanted to be a girl singer with a band), we put together, and when Ron smoothes it out it’s going to be six minutes of bliss. After that work session, I met Linda back at her house, and we went over what we have so far for her new act – there are still holes to fill, and we began to fill them. After that, I came home, ate some silly food, and then sat on my couch like so much fish for the rest of the day and evening. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?
Over the last few days, I’ve managed to get some DVD viewing time and I’ve watched several motion pictures on DVD. For example, I finished two more Sam Peckinpah films in the new box set. First, I watched The Wild Bunch, generally regarded as Peckinpah’s best film, and widely regarded as one of the great westerns. While it’s not my favorite Peckinpah film (that honor goes to Ride The High Country), The Wild Bunch is a terrific, visceral film, with crackling good dialogue, great action sequences, and a brilliant cast, the likes of which we will never see again. What actors today are like William Holden, Ernest Borgnine, Robert Ryan, L.Q. Jones, Strother Martin, Warren Oates? None is the answer you’re looking for. For a 145 minute film, the pace is perfect – it never wanes and the direction is perfect, as is the score by Mr. Jerry Fielding. The one thing that is not perfect is this new transfer by Warner Bros. People on the Internet are commenting that they are very happy with it, that the brownish muted color is very true to Mr. Peckinpah’s vision. As if these nutcases knew what Mr. Peckinpah’s vision was. As if they’d ever actually seen the film in a theater in its original run. They have no idea what the IB Technicolor prints looked like or how saturated the color was (especially the blue skies). Here the skies are blue but not Technicolor blue, the skin tones are pasty brown, and everything is flat-looking. The transfer is sharp, but I’m very disappointed in the color. Now, if you want to know what IB Technicolor skies and skin tones really look like, all you have to do is put in the next DVD I watched, The Ballad of Cable Hogue, starring Mr. Jason Robards, Jr. and Miss Stella Stevens. The film is a delight – very sweet, with wonderful performances and a nice Jerry Goldsmith score. There are some curious directorial flourishes that are atypical for Mr. Peckinpah, but somehow it all works. Of course, the Internet wags have been complaining about this transfer most of all, saying the color is too much and they prefer the faded print that the Encore channel runs occasionally. Well, sorry, Internet wags, but this is what IB Technicolor prints look like – they are SATURATED, baby, SATURATED. All of Lucien Ballard’s westerns look saturated and beautiful. They also complain about the way the color occasionally shifts – what they’re really talking about are the opticals, which, of course, are grainy and have color fluctuations like all opticals in all movies of that era.
Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below, because frankly I am bewitched, bothered, and bewildered by this entire section.
Back to the DVD viewing – I then watched a motion picture from the year 2005, entitled Flightplan. Flightplan is a textbook example of everything I hate in motion pictures today. It starts off with a completely inane pre-credits sequence. Then the inanity continues non-stop for the next eighty-five minutes. These sorts of stories are always fun, but this director is so intent on using every hip computer generated camera move, every hip sound effect (someone needs to fire every sound effects person working in film today – they are completely out of control), every hip screenwriting cliché, that after ten minutes you just want to find the writers and director and bitch-slap them from here to eternity and hell and back. Every time the camera moves we get a sound that resembles hurricane Katrina. Every time a door closes it sounds like 100 doors closing at the same time. Every time a character breathes it is amplified to the nth degree. And then there’s the set, the interior of the airplane. When The High and The Mighty came out last year on DVD, young people were deriding the interior of the airplane set, saying it looked way too big and unrealistic. Note to young people: You are idiots. They laugh at The High and The Mighty, but they accept the set for Flightplan, a completely unrealistic interior of an airplane, a Fantasyland of air travel the likes of which I certainly have never seen. Of course, the writers “borrow” the “Miss Froy” window gag from The Lady Vanishes, and the reveal in Flightplan is so lame, so unbelievable that you sit there bewitched, bothered, and bewildered, with an emphasis on the latter. The one positive thing (and it’s the only positive thing) is Jodie Foster, who’s always fun to watch. Other than that, almost a complete waste of time.
What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Today, for example, I shall be rehearsing with Miss Linda Purl from noon to probably three, getting her New York presentation in sharp form. Then I shall eat some silly food, or maybe I’ll call someone and actually go have a splendidly splendid dinner, since I have gift certificates for Musso and Frank and Ivy At The Shore.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, finish the short story I should have finished weeks ago, I must, for example, work with Miss Linda Purl, I must, for example, ship a couple of packages and hopefully pick up a couple of packages, and I must do some errands as well. Today’s topic of discussion: What are your ten favorite DVDs that you own – the ones you couldn’t possibly be without. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I’m bewitched, bothered, and bewildered, not necessarily in that order.