Well, dear readers, I must write these here notes in a hurry, for she of the Evil Eye will be here bright and early. Bright and Early – wasn’t that a vaudeville team? Yes, Benny Bright and Sam Early, worked on the Orpheum circuit. They were a wonderful team that was especially known for their brilliant routine, Eat My Muffin. Completely forgotten now, I think it’s time for a new and fresh look at Bright and Early, don’t you? They were clearly an influence on many comedy teams, but they were there first. Their final performance of Eat My Muffin was performed at a Kiwanis club and brought down the house – literally. The house simply fell down while they were in the middle of Eat My Muffin, and they were both killed instantly. What the HELL am I talking about? Eat My Muffin? Aren’t I supposed to be writing these here notes in a hurry? And yet, I found time to go off on a tangent. Have you ever gone off on a tangent? Have you ever said, “Tangent, I’ve had it up to here!” Speaking of tangents, I spent all of yesterday in the editing room, doing about an hour’s worth of work, if that. It just took a long time to get our notes, which were extremely minor – we addressed them in about fifteen minutes, then sent them back to see if there were any final little nits to pick. We didn’t hear back until it was almost the end of the day, and my editor had already left. The nits were really minor, just one shot to be removed and one graphic to be changed – we’ll do those next Wednesday just before we online the two spots. Whilst killing time, I managed to go through the two short stories I hadn’t smoothed out, and I did a lot of fixing and smoothing and they’re much better now. I then headed over to the theater for a little brush-up rehearsal with Tammy and Matt. We fixed some stuff, and then it was time for the play to begin. I had some friends in the audience, so I stayed and watched the show. The first half of the first act was off a little, but improved by mid-act, and then the last fifteen minutes of the act played perfectly. The second act was mostly fine, although several laughs were completely missed for the usual reasons. After the show, I went out to dinner with my friends and we had a grander than grand time. I then came home quite late and had to jump into the notes with nary a moment to sit on my couch like so much fish. End of paragraph one.
I wonder if any of you dear readers remember any of the Eat My Muffin routine. If you do, please post any lines you might remember. The only lines I recall are:
Bright: Bran muffins give me indigestion.
Early: Then eat MY muffin – it’s blueberry.
Bright: If I eat your muffin, what will you do?
Early: I’ll eat YOUR muffin, that’s what I’ll do. We’ll swap muffins.
Bright: But my muffin is bran.
Early: Bran muffins give me indigestion.
Bright: Then eat MY muffin – it’s blueberry.
Early: I know it’s blueberry, I gave it to you.
Bright: So you did. My muffin was bran.
Early: Bran muffins give me indigestion.
Bright: Then eat MY muffin – it’s blueberry.
Early: I’m going to give you a raspberry if you don’t shut up.
Bright: Raspberry gives me indigestion.
That’s all I can remember – perhaps someone else can fill in the blanks. Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I must get these here notes posted and then must get my beauty rest.
This morning I’ll be rehearsing with Miss Linda Purl for a couple of hours, then I’ll have the rest of the day to my very own self. Then, in the evening, I shall attend the performance of the play. I wonder if this entire weekend will be impacted by the fershluganah Olympics. It’s always something – the Super Bowl, the Olympics – any old excuse for people not to leave their homes. Last night the show in the big theater at the El Portal only had an audience of seventy-five. We only had about thirty-five. Everyone else was home watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. Go know.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, rehearse with Miss Linda Purl, I must finish doing fixes on the short stories, I must print out the short stories and bring them to my muse, Margaret, I must write another scene for the musical, and I must eat something interesting. Today’s topic of discussion: Who are your all-time favorite comedy teams, and what routines were your favorites – the ones you can still quote. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst you all try to fill in the blanks for the classic Bright and Early routine, Eat My Muffin.