Well, dear readers, did you ever have a movie title simply pop into your head like a gazelle in fishnet stockings? Just as I made ready to begin these here notes, here is what came into my head like a gazelle in fishnet stockings: Scudda Hoo, Scudda Hay. I ask you – of all the movie titles that could possibly pop into your head like a gazelle in fishnet stockings, could there be any more outré title than Scudda Hoo, Scudda Hay? That is the worst movie title in history. The only way that title works is if the movie is about someone named Horace Scudda, a someone no one knows but when someone sees him they call out to him. Yes, “Scudda Who? Scudda, Hey!” is a much better title, don’t you think? At this point in time I think it is best to point out that I no longer have a clew as to what the HELL I’m talking about. Scudda Hoo, Scudda Hay – I mean, that’s just crazy talk. Speaking of crazy talk, yesterday was such an entertaining day in certain respects, and an infuriating day in other respects. For example, I got up. That was entertaining. I jogged, and then toddled off to a hainsies/kimlets breakfast at Du-Par’s. It was a lovelier than lovely breakfast, with the likes of elmore, MusicGuy, the delightfully delightful singingnymph, Michael Shayne, former dear reader Maria, and Adriana Patti. I think that was everybody. After that, I went to LACC for the matinee performance of The Brain. Our light board operator didn’t arrive until two minutes before curtain, and because he hadn’t tested the board, the board froze on the first cue and I knew we were in trouble. Thanks to our fast-thinking stage manager, she managed to at least get some sort of light on the stage, and BJ, the actor playing the Narrator, covered the gaffe very professionally and amusingly. And, in an impressive show of professionalism, our spotlight operator jumped in and made sure there was light on everything that needed to be lit. I was, at that point, considering stopping the show, but by the second chorus of the song, the board had been rebooted, they quickly went through the first five cues and got to where they should be and we were fine after that. Very annoying, but at least it happened at an ill-attended performance. There were only about thirty to forty people in attendance, because apparently everyone is too busy to go anywhere. About twenty-five people who’d made reservations were no-shows. It was a nice crowd though, and they were quite vocal. The show went fine, except for some annoying sloppiness (as you may have gathered, sloppiness is a big bug-a-boo of mine) and one actor who is simply out of control. I spoke to said actor before the matinee, but he didn’t listen. If this sort of thing continues, the head of the department will be speaking to said actor. The fact is, the head of the department warned me this might happen – it’s very unprofessional, completely unfair to fellow actors, and very selfish. After the matinee, I went to Amoeba to kill some time, and then I came back for the evening performance. The lights were back to normal, which was nice. We had about eighty people (shameful for a Saturday night, but, you know, it was raining and again there were many no-shows). The first act ran pretty smoothly, with the exception of the out of control actor, who played certain scenes very slowly, and others so that you couldn’t understand a word he said. Other scenes he was just fine in. Again, come Monday, I’ll be having a talk with him, as will the head of the department. Act Two was another story, with one technical flub after another, and all completely pointless. There were several lighting mis-fires in the Brain Tap number – I was told the board had skipped cues, but that’s not possible, so what probably happened is that the board op may have leaned on the “go” button. Then, our backstage crew totally screwed up a “fly” cue and started to bring in the wrong thing at the wrong time – they realized how stupid they were being and about two minutes later the right thing flew in – too little, too late. Then, in order to move the big unit on, the masking legs have to fly – they didn’t, and the audience sat there for at least a minute, until they finally brought the unit on without the legs flying. Then, a fly cue at the end of the show looked like a two year old was pulling the rope. The cast did very well, though, but the audience was pretty quiet, although several of them came up to me and said they adored it, so that was nice. As soon as the show was over, I was up with the stage manager and our tech director. There will now be a big meeting and rehearsal on Monday with the show crew – there really was no excuse for their ineptitude and that sort of thing just kills a show faster than anything.
After that, all the hainsies/kimlets in attendance toddled over to Genghis Cohen for our get-together. Much food was consumed (yummilicious), and the conversation was sparkling. The folks included me, Adriana Patti and mother, elmore, Hisaka, Michael Shayne and friend, MBarnum, MusicGuy, dear reader Laura, Merrill, and Mr. Kevin Spirtas. We all ate like gluttons and pigs. Then, I finally came home, where I sat in front of my laptop like so much fish, and decried Scudda Hoo, Scudda Hey for no reason whatsoever.
Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because the hour is late or, to put it another way, late is the hour.
Scudda Hoo, Scudda Hay, and don’t you forget it. Today Hoo, Today Hay, I shall be doing nothing. Oh, I’ll watch a DVD or five, oh, I’ll eat a fine meal at some point, oh, I may sit in the Jacuzzi, but I shall most definitely relax and smell the roses or the coffee or the tofu. It shall be a day of complete relaxation, save for addressing a bunch of orders that came in over the weekend.
I am so behind in my DVD viewing I don’t know where to start. I’ve got The DaVinci Code here, so I’ll watch that for sure, but first I have to finish My Geisha. And I definitely want to watch Max Ophuls’ La Plaisir. I also have a bunch of CD listening to catch up on.
Now wait just a darned minute. We’d best put on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, we’d best break out the cheese slices and the ham chunks, we’d better dance the Hora or the old-fashioned waltz, because today is dear reader MBarnum’s Bollywood Birthday. So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to MBarnum on his Bollywood Birthday. On the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO MBARNUM ON HIS BOLLYWOOD BIRTHDAY!!!
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, jog, relax, relax, eat, eat, watch DVDs, watch DVDs and plotz. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s free-for-all day, the day in which you dear readers get to make with the topics and we all get to post about them. So, let’s have loads of lovely topics and loads of lovely postings, whilst we all shout Scudda Hoo, Scudda Hay in perfect unison.