Well, dear readers, I must write these here notes in a hurry and not because I’m Arthur Murray. No, I must write these here notes in a hurry for she of the Evil Eye will be arriving all too soon. What does Arthur Murray have to do with anything, that’s what I’d like to know? I mean, Arthur Murray taught me dancing in a hurry, but what has Arthur Murray done for me lately, that’s what I’d like to know? Once, very long ago, I dreamed I was dancing with Arthur Murray in my Maidenform bra. Is this paragraph disintegrating before your very eyes, like the little tape in Mission: Impossible? Of course, having now mentioned Arthur Murray, I want to dance like the wind. I want to get up and shake my bootay and dance the Lambada (The Forbidden Dance). I want to be a dancing fook. A dancing fook??? See what happens when your finger slips on the keyboard? One little slip and we go from a dancing fool to a dancing fook. Now I’m going to have to be a dancing fook, even though I don’t know what the HELL a dancing fook is. Speaking of a dancing fook, yesterday was sort of a nice, relaxing day in its own way. For example, I got up. That was relaxing in its own way. I then had a little morning meeting, then I shipped packages and did a few errands and whatnot. Then I came home and did about two hours’ worth of importing stuff into iTunes. Then I toddled off to an afternoon meeting, which I enjoyed very much – two very nice people. I then did a few more errands, and then I had some supper at Art’s Deli (the usual pastrami sandwich and cole slaw). I then came home and sat on my couch like so much fish and dreamt of Arthur Murray dancing in my Maidenform bra.
Last night, I decided to have a Jerry Lewis night by watching two disparate motion pictures on DVD. The first disparate motion picture on DVD was entitled The Errand Boy. Despite it just being a series of gags, some great, some not so great, I’ve always been very fond of the film. It’s all shot on the Paramount lot and surrounding streets. And when it’s funny, it’s very funny. It also includes my favorite Jerry bit, the pantomime to the big band number in the executive office – it’s just brilliant. I then watched the second disparate motion picture on DVD, which was entitled The King Of Comedy. I hate to say it, and I know many will want to bitch-slap me from here to eternity and hell and back, but I think that’s the last Martin Scorsese picture that I really liked. It’s a fascinating, uncomfortable film to watch. It isn’t perfect, by any means – some of the writing is off, some of the details don’t make any sense, but it just somehow all comes together. Part of it is the expert playing of Robert De Niro as Rupert Pupkin – it’s one of his finest performances. Jerry Lewis as talk show host Jerry Langford, is really terrific, a great performance. And Sandra Bernhard is nothing short of genius in her motion picture debut. The most shocking thing, of course, is that the film received not one Academy Award nomination. The Dresser, a film no one really remembers, had quite a few nominations. One of my favorite scenes in all of Scorsese’s films is the seduction scene with Bernhard and Lewis – it’s really funny and scary and sick, all at the same time. We could really use a new transfer of the film – this transfer is anamorphic, but it’s really mundane.
What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below whilst I ponder Arthur Murray teaching me dancing in a hurry.
Hey! Wake up and smell the roses or the coffee or the tamales. Yes, you heard that right, the tamales. I would be remiss if I didn’t call your attention to this simple fact: It’s Cinco de Mayo. Not Cinco de Mustard, mind you, nor Cinco de Ketchup, no, it’s Cinco de Mayo. I think we should all put on our serapes and do the Mexican Hat Dance and eat refried beans and chimichangas and taquitos on rye. Yes, let us all celebrate Cinco de Mayo by saying, “Hey Cisco! Hey Pancho!” I may have to eat Mexican food this very day.
Today I must also go deep into storage to try and find a piece of Stages music for someone. That is not going to be an easy task, but I shall endeavor to do it, nonetheless.
Now wait just a darned minute. Let’s all put on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, let’s all break out the cheese slices and the ham chunks, let’s all dance the Hora and the Highland Fancy, for today is the birthday of dear reader George. So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to dear reader George. On the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO DEAR READER GEORGE!!!
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, jog, go deep into storage, do errands and whatnot, and then watch a DVD or three. Today’s topic of discussion: What are your favorite slapstick comedies – the ones with great comic knockabout sequences? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, and remember – Arthur Murray taught me dancing in a hurry.