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July 13, 2007:

FRIDAY THE 13TH

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, I cannot believe it is Friday, and yet I must believe it because it is Friday. Where did all the other days of the week go? Not only is it Friday, no, being Friday isn’t enough – it is Friday the 13th. As we all know by now, Friday the 13th is usually a day in which strange people in weird masks come out and chop people up in rather amusing ways. So, if you happen to see anyone named Jason today or tonight, and said Jason happens to be wearing a weird mask and is carrying an implement that is harmful looking, turn and go the other way, post haste. For example, if I run into Jason Graae today, I shall scream, I tell you, I shall scream and run the other way. In any case, it is Friday the 13th and we must all be careful of harmful-looking implements carried by someone named Jason Graae. You know, I don’t know what the HELL I’m going on about – it must be because it’s Friday the 13th. Avoid all black cats, too. Blue cats are fine, green cats are no problem, but black cats – avoid them like the plague. Here at haineshisway.com you’ll be safe and secure, and so my advice is to stick close to this here site. Seriously, do you realize that half of July is almost over? This month has flown by like a gazelle with a harmful-looking implement. I realize that implement has two count them two meanings – and I’m not talking about the one that means to implement a plan or something, I’m talking about implement like a tool, if you get my drift and I know you do so don’t pretend you don’t. Okay, enough of implements and tools and weird masks and Friday the 13th. Speaking of Friday the 13th, yesterday was Thursday the 12th. And what a wacko day it was, too. Everything about it was wacko. For example, I woke up. That was wacko. I had a rehearsal with Miss Joan Ryan and parts of that were wacko. I was adamant that we run act one without stopping, and we almost got through it. She forgot some things, and some of the staging was off, but when it was right one could tell that the show is going to work really well. We got through all of act one, and about half of act two. After rehearsal, I came home, made annoying telephonic calls and finally got the Milla CDs. I got them all packaged and shipped. I then had a meeting with Mr. Barry Pearl, and then I had to toddle off to Mr. Grant Geissman’s home environment, where he began designing the new book. He actually got it into proofable shape in three hours. It looks great, too. I’ll print it out, proof it, and then at our next session we’ll deal with all the style issues – there’s the lead character’s journal to design, e-mails, myspace messages, all that sort of stuff. Once we settle on all that, then he’ll do all my corrections on his own, then we’ll proof it one last time, and that should be that. After that, we went and got some chow at Mel’s Diner, and then after chow I said ciao and went home, where I finally sat on my couch like so much fish.

Last night, I did manage to finish a motion picture on DVD, entitled The Page Turner. Since I’m happy to report that it was a terrific film, I think you’ve probably figured out that it was not made in this country. No, it was made in France, and it was just one of those French films that gets under your skin in a creepy way. It’s direction is simple, no sops to “today,” and classically designed and shot. The two lead actresses give incredibly nuanced performances, and without that much dialogue. The film begins with a young girl of about twelve playing piano in a competition of some sort. There are several judges, one of whom is a lady pianist. In the middle of the girls playing, someone comes in and hands the lady pianist a photo to sign – the lady pianist signs it, paying no attention to the young girl’s playing. All of that distracts the young girl and she completely screws up. She leaves, goes home, locks her piano and we sense that she will not play again. We then flash forward ten years, and the girl is interning in a law office. The head of the firm asks her if she’ll watch his son, because he’ll be out of town a lot and his wife is frequently busy. She agrees, and he takes her to the house, where she’ll have to live for the few months she’ll be there helping out. We soon see that the lawyer’s wife is the lady pianist. She’s getting ready for an important concert with her trio. She needs a page turner, and the young girl seems perfect to do it. And so, we have a simple, elegant tale of revenge and it doesn’t grandstand, and it just moves in a quiet, measured way to its conclusion. I think you can imagine how crass this would be if made by an American, but here it’s just mesmerizing and a little creepy and, at a crisp eighty-one minutes, it’s just a gem of a film and I cannot recommend it highly enough. The transfer from Tartan Video is excellent.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I’ve got to get to the next section to make sure there aren’t any harmful-looking implements or people named Jason there.

Have I mentioned that it’s Friday, the 13th? Today, a Time Warner Man is coming early to check out my cable modem, to see if there’s some problem with it – the internet connection has been erratic this week, although my suspicion is that it’s a Time Warner problem and not my cable modem. After all, why would it work most of the time, but then suddenly lose the connection for twenty minutes, and then work again without it having to be re-set? But, let Time Warner Man check things out – if he has a weird mask and/or harmful-looking implement or a name tag that says Jason, he’s not getting past the front door.

Then I have a meeting with Mr. Charles Fox, then I have a rehearsal with Miss Joan Ryan, and then I’m coming home and I am bloody-well watching some bloody DVDs and if someone doesn’t like that they can bloody-well kiss my ASS.

The weekend is one of no plans, other than making telephonic calls and talking Brain matters, but basically I think I will be able to relax and smell the coffee or the roses or the whitefish.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, wait for Mr. Time Warner Man, meet with Mr. Fox, rehearse with Miss Ryan, and then relax with Mr. In Between. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Friday (the 13th) – what is currently in your CD player and your DVD/video player? I’ll start – CD, a J.J. Johnson (a trombone player) compilation. DVD – next up, The Woman In The Window, The Stranger, Kansas City Confidential, and the Joan Collins box. Your turn. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, and be careful and safe and secure whilst watching out for black cats and people named Jason wearing weird masks and carrying harmful-looking implements.

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