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January 14, 2008:

A DRY AND BORING OPENING

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, the weekend is over and the busy week begins. What kind of way is THAT to begin the notes? That is just so dry and boring. I fell asleep three times when I read that sentence. We need a little sauce on it to perk it up, don’t we? Too late now, as Burton Lane and Alan Jay Lerner once wrote. Oh, I could go back and start over and come up with some pithy opening with plenty of sauce, but I feel that would be cheating and I do not believe in cheating, hence we will have to live with the dry and boring opening. Speaking of a dry and boring opening (I don’t know, I’m trying my hardest to keep my mind out of the gutter), yesterday was going to be a completely relaxing day, but I ended up doing quite a bit of work. I woke up, wrote a few pages of the new novel, had some lunch, wrote some more, then I did a bunch of work to get it out of the way – and I was very happy I did. Then I had to do some work at the piano, then I wrote a couple more pages. I answered a whole slew of e-mails and then I finally sat on my couch like so much fish.

Last night, I watched a motion picture on DVD entitled Ants! Actually, Ants was a TV movie from 1977, and it was then entitiled It Happened At Lake Manor. Entitiled? What the HELL is entitiled? I think I meant to write entitled but it came out entitiled and now we’ve gone and invented a new word. Entitiled: a person who thinks that waffles grow on trees. Where was I? Oh, yes, Ants. Ants was a very bad TV movie. By the time it was made, the glory days of the ABC Movie Of The Week were over. Ants is the story of ants, poisonous ants run amok. Now, I will admit here and now and also now and here that I do not like ants. They give me the willies. So, as I watched this pathetic excuse for a TV movie I became very itchy whilst watching all those ants. There were ants crawling everywhere, and the poor actors had them crawling on their arms and legs and faces and I hope they received extra pay. The cast was led by the ubiquitous Robert Foxworth, along with such fine actors as Lynda Day George, Bernie Casey, Steve Franken, and special guest star Miss Myrna Loy, who thankfully doesn’t have to endure any ants crawling on her. Oh, and I forgot Suzanne Sommers who does get to have ants crawling all over her body. Oh, and I forgot Barry Van Dyke, who says the word “Uh” at least sixty-seven times in three minutes. After the film, I had to take a long, hot shower. Oh, and I forgot Eileen Barnett’s very nice husband Bruce French played a scientist who has all the explanations for the ants running amok. Ants Running Amok – that’s the title of my next novel.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I’d like to get off this section and its dry and boring opening.

Today, I shall be writing, I shall be picking up at least two packages (at least I’m hoping I will), and I shall be making a whole slew of telephonic calls to various and sundried folks. I also have to finish futzing with two musical numbers for the show I’m mentoring.

Tonight I have decided to watch the DVD of Sweeney Todd with Miss Angela Lansbury and Mr. George Hearn. This will be the only evening I am home this entire week, as starting tomorrow I’ll be attending the DGA nominee screenings, and then an opening night at the Pasadena Playhouse.

At some point this week I’ll be getting my muse Margaret another fifty to sixty pages to peruse. I will, of course, then wait with both bated and baited breath for her response.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, write, pick up packages, write, do work at the piano, write, and then watch Sweeney Todd. Today’s topic of discussion: We’ve had a lot of science run amok movies over the years – what are your favorite insects run amok films – either large or small? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, and let us all try to forget the dry and boring opening and hope that the rest of the notes were moist and inviting.

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