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February 8, 2008:

DRY HEAVE

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, here I sit, writing these here notes whilst suffering from some hideous thing – food poisoning or stomach flu or something. I’ve awoke this morning feeling queasy and it has not gone away since, not for a moment. I haven’t actually done the dreaded throwing up, but I’ve been oh so close. What kind of way is THIS to open the notes? How unseemly, talking about throwing up and hideous things and food poisoning and stomach flu (ulf, spelled backwards). However, I think I’d better write these notes in a hurry because Ye Olde Tummy is really nauseous right now and I think I’d better get these posted early and then hie myself to the bedroom environment. Speaking of the bedroom environment, yesterday was a queasy day. I woke up – queasy. I went to Staples to Xerox pages – queasy. I delivered pages to muse Margaret – queasy. I came home – queasy. I had a meeting with Mr. Kevin Spirtas – queasy. We worked for an hour. He presented me with his ideas for his show with Sean McDermott, but it all seemed very unfocused to me. By the end of our session, I’d come up with a structure and through-line for the show that should work just fine. He left – queasy. I finally made some calls, then got into bed and slept for three hours. I woke up – queasy. And so it went. In the evening (queasy) I heard from my muse Margaret, who, happily, loved the final fifty-something pages she read – no changes, no problems, she thought it all worked splendidly. That, as you might imagine, made me want to dance a jig, however, I was too queasy to do so. I then got back into bed and watched a DVD.

Last night, I watched a DVD entitled Victor/Victoria – not the film that I’d seen the night before, but the Broadway show. I saw the show very close to its opening. I’d forgotten about it, but watching the DVD reminded me what a not very good experience that was. In fact, much of it is dreadful, especially Mr. Bricusse’s horrible new lyrics and Mr. Wildhorn’s new music. Paris Makes Me Horny made me even queasier than I already was. That is truly one of the single worst musical numbers ever. The adaptation is clunky, but several of the film’s funniest bits still get their laughs. But the film’s occasionally unfunny dialogue has unfortunately also been retained. Miss Andrews is fine, but not as good as in the film – her voice is now so low that there’s no difference between Victor and Victoria’s voices. Michael Nouri is no James Garner, while Rachel York is exactly Lesley Ann Warren. Tony Roberts affects some weird hint of an accent and cadence that makes every one of his lines sound exactly the same. He did not earase the memory of the glorious Robert Preston. My pal Greg Jbara is wonderful as Squash, but unfortunately his big revelation has been completely ruined by too many “hints” in the prior scenes. Rob Marshall’s choreography evokes all his heroes, from Fosse to Bennett and beyond, with none of their originality. I’ll stick to the movie version.

If you are squeamish, skip to the next paragraph. In the middle of writing the first paragraph, I became so queasy (maybe from writing the word queasy so much) that I felt as if I was going to throw up right then and there – I rushed to the bathroom, where I think what I did is called the dry heaves. It seems like you’re throwing up but there’s nothing to throw up. That went on for about five minutes – I’m happy there was nothing to come up, so my record of only really throwing up twice in the last forty years is intact. As a point of interest, those two times were both because of food poisoning.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below before the dry heaves come back.

Is this week over already? Did I just really dry heave and the WRITE about it? I gotta tell you.

Today, I think I shall do nothing but try to relax and I’m praying this bout of food poisoning or whatever it is will be gone before I have to attend a show at LACC.

The only good part of yesterday’s illness is that I ate only five Saltines the entire day and evening – perhaps I’ll lose a pound and perhaps that will inspire me to keep losing pounds.

I’ll be supping with a friend in from San Francisco tomorrow night, unless this thing keeps hanging on, but I’m putting on the positive vibes and xylophones that it will be gone by this evening.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, get better, not dry heave or throw up, not be queasy, and then attend a show. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Friday – what is currently in your CD player and your DVD/video player? I’ll start: CD, a three-disc set by Dutch singer Rita Reys – Bacharach, Legrand, and Gershwin. DVD, next up, as soon as I’m not queasy, Orca, The Killer Whale. Your turn. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I attempt not to dry heave again.

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