Haines Logo Text
Column Archive
March 10, 2008:


Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, I’m afraid I must rant, oh, yes, I’m afraid I must rant. I’ll try not to rant too long, but rant I must, so pardon my rant. And here is what I wish to rant about: Yesterday, we had a nine o’clock in the morning music rehearsal at the Chance Theater. I left the home environment at eight-ten for what should have been a thirty-five minute drive, because there couldn’t possibly be any traffic at eight-fifteen in the morning. I flew down the 101, made the transition to the 5 and one mile later came to a complete standstill, with cars lined up for miles ahead. I could not believe it. I thought it had to be an accident, but there were no reports of ANY problems on the 5 on the radio. So, a half-hour later I’d gone about two miles and then we finally saw the problem. And what was it, dear readers? Well, I’ll tell you what it was because why should I withhold such information from you? What it was was simple: The idiots who run this city or the traffic end of things decided to shut down all lanes except ONE. You heard that right – one lane on the 5. Before I get to the why, may I just say that it still didn’t make sense that we weren’t moving – I mean, once we passed the problem area, even though it was one lane we still moved quickly. There was no accident, no ten car collision – what there was was a bunch of people doing inconsequential and unnecessary sweeping on the freeway. Note to LA city idiots: DO IT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, YOU STUPID BUNCH OF CRETINS, NOT IN THE MORNING ON A SUNDAY. And who’s footing the bill for the golden time, I wonder? I could not believe the chutzpah of it and I will admit here and now and also now and here to hurling some vile epithets out my window as I passed the workers, hoping they’d pass along my constructive comments to those who are higher up. A thirty-five minute drive took exactly one hour and ten minutes. This city is, frankly, out of control and this sort of utter stupidity has reached epic proportions. Thus endeth the ranteth.

Other than that horrifying experience (as some of you know, I’m a bit of a claustrophobe and if I’m stuck like that without moving, I do tend to go a bit berserk, like Joan Crawford), the music rehearsal was fine, and our leading man gave me a tip on a different route to try when driving the rush hour, and I’m going to give that a whirl later today. I was home by one-thirty, and I made a nice batch of pasta with butter and cheese, did some work on the computer, recorded a few more songs into the computer, and then finally sat on my couch like so much fish.

Last night, I watched two count them two motion pictures, one that I TIVOd and one on DVD. The first motion picture was entitled Patterns, written by Mr. Rod Serling, and directed by Mr. Fielder Cook. I’d never seen it before, and I rather like Mr. Serling’s over-the-top dramatic prose, so I enjoyed it very much. It’s a product of its time, but Mr. Serling’s points are all still very relevant today. The cast was wonderful, especially Mr. Ed Begley giving one of his finest and most subtle performances, Mr. Van Heflin, Mr. Everett Sloane, and the wonderful Elizabeth Wilson as Mr. Begley’s loyal and true secretary. Also excellent was Beatrice Straight as Mr. Heflin’s wife. The film plays without a musical score, and, for me, I’m not sure that was the best decision. It was shown full-frame on TCM and, of course, shouldn’t have been, as that was not its theatrical ratio. I then watched a motion picture on DVD entitled Baby Doll, written by Tennessee Williams and directed by Elia Kazan, another film I’d never seen. Well, it was quite a treat – very, very funny, wonderful performances from Karl Malden and Eli Wallach, and Miss Carroll Baker terrific as the title character. They got away with things that no American movie had gotten away with, and the film was condemned the Legion of Decency, a high honor, in my opinion (IMO, in Internet lingo). Transfer was pretty good. There’s a little featurette about the making of the film and its history, and has Mr. Malden, Mr. Wallach and Miss Baker – unfortunately, it also has the unwatchable Mr. Drew Casper.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below before I start to rant again about the stupidity of the people who would shut down all lanes but one for no reason whatsoever, other than their own complete inadequacy.

I’ve been meaning to address an issue, which I shall now address. Have you ever addressed an issue? Did it look like this:

An Issue
1245 Miller Street
Anytown, Anystate, USA

Back when The Brain From Planet X was first asked to participate in NYMF, and they suddenly socked us with a $5,000 entry fee we knew nothing about (on top of the huge amount of money it was going to take to produce the show), it was suggested that the hainsies/kimlets who wanted to might each contribute $100 to cover that completely unexpected payment. And several of you were kind enough to do so, which was indeed very helpful in defraying some of that cost. The original plan was to return the money out of the check that we’d get back from NYMF for our box-office receipts. That check finally came at the end of November, but it was a complete shocker, because NYMF withheld so much money for various things that it was like getting nothing. The lesson learned was that that is the NYMF way – no show makes any money, because it is virtually impossible to do so. Because I had so much to deal with at the end of the year, and also the beginning of this year, I haven’t had time to figure out how to deal with this, but please rest assured you will all get your monies back, and hopefully very soon. I appreciate your patience and the good news is, of course, we’re in the LA Festival of New Musicals and that doesn’t cost me a sou, or even a Sue. And we came out of New York with a stock and amateur licensing deal with the Rodgers and Hammerstein Organization, which we think will ultimately pay off very well. Larry Moore is hard at work cleaning up the music charts and doing a vocal book, the script has been finalized and sent, and we’re awaiting the contracts, which David and I will have to look over and then sign. If anyone who was a contributor has any questions, just drop me an e-mail.

Today, I shall record a few more songs into the computer (we do love our Garage Band now that we know how to work it), and then I shall toddle off to the theater (via a new and hopefully less congested route) for our second music rehearsal, this one for the Narrator/Professor Leder and The Brain. Do keep sending your excellent vibes and xylophones for good news this week, and hopefully sooner rather than later, although later will do if sooner is too soon, but I’d rather sooner, because later is later and sooner is sooner.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, record songs, do errands and whatnot, hopefully get some good news, and then have a music rehearsal. Today’s topic of discussion: Since we were talking about Mr. Serling, and since he created one of the greatest TV shows in the history of television, what are your all-time favorite Twilight Zone episodes and, for those who were fans, your favorite Night Gallery episodes? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hopefully have no reason to rant any more this week.

Search BK's Notes Archive:
© 2001 - 2019 by Bruce Kimmel. All Rights Reserved