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April 23, 2008:

PASSING GAS

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, what is it with people? Why, you may ask, am I asking such a question as what is it with people, and I’m happy to answer the why of why am I asking such a question as what is it with people? Here’s my what is it with people story o’ the day. Yesterday, I had to put gas in my car. So, I went to my nearby station, which is usually five or ten cents cheaper than other nearby stations. And what did I find? Well, I’ll tell you what I found – I found a bunch of stupid Studio City rich people trying to save five cents a gallon whilst filling up their gas-guzzling SUVs. When I say a bunch, I mean you’d have thought there was a gas shortage and people thought this might be their last chance ever to fill their tanks with gas. Now, forget the ridiculousness of people LINING UP to pay $4.00 a gallon for gas – forget THAT ridiculousness. These people were rude, obnoxious cretins, rich, entitled spoiled little peckerwoods who probably don’t drive more than two miles a day, but who can ONLY go to a gas station that’s five cents cheaper than the one with NO people there. I pulled in and got lucky and found a pump right away. But this loaner car’s gas tank is on the opposite side than mine is, so I had to turn the car around. Only some idiot woman in pulled in close behind me and then refused to move – she basically told me she didn’t care what I did, she wasn’t moving. Luckily a pump across the way opened up and I was able to get over there. But everyone was behaving just like this woman – blocking people (cars could literally not get out of the station after gassing up because people were blocking them), and not giving a flying Wallenda about their reprehensible behavior. I just wanted to throttle each and every one of them, but then they’d have had to get off their cell phones to even notice the throttling. The whole affair was like one big passing gas experience and I hope these people get what’s coming to them, whatever it is – but again, they wouldn’t notice because they’re too busy being gaseous twitheads. Speaking of passing gas, yesterday was a day in which I did a lot of things and never had one minute to relax. I got up after a good night’s sleep to find that the electricity was once again out in the den and guest bathroom. I called the handyman and he called the electrician, who said he’d be there by eleven. At one he still wasn’t there, and then I was told he wouldn’t be there until five. I said I’d leave the back door open for him. In the meantime, I got all the packages done that hadn’t been done (the orders of five or more) and got those all shipped out. I didn’t really have time to do any errands, although I did buy some more envelopes and ordered some more postage strips. By then it was time to leave for our meal and tech run-through, which we did. The drive was okay, and we ate at the Soup Plantation (I was out-voted – I wanted Islands). The problem with jernts like the Soup Plantation is that it’s all you can eat. What I don’t need anymore is all you can eat. Even so, I was very good and only had Caesar Salad, one small corn muffin, some mac and cheese and some other kind of pasta, but really small amounts, and some low-fat frozen yogurt for dessert. After that, we headed to the theater.

Last night, we had another tech run-through, but these aren’t really tech run-throughs as we’re still missing half the props and the set isn’t quite complete. It went pretty smoothly, and some of the show was funnier than it’s ever been, so that was nice. Still a lot of work to be done on light cue timing and projection timing, but it’s coming together slowly but surely. After rehearsal, I drove home and immediately sat on my chair like so much fish, contemplating the rather horrifying news I’d had directly after dinner.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below so I can tell you about the rather horrifying news I’d had directly after dinner – talk about passing gas.

So, directly after dinner I had a call from the car place. Now, remember, I’ve had very good luck with this car and, in the scheme of things, have spent very little on its upkeep over the last ten years. So, what happened was bound to happen, but I was not quite prepared for the enormity of it. There is so much wrong with the car right now that it’s going to cost a small fortune to fix it – and I do mean a small fortune. There are three major oil leaks (which is the reason for the burnt rubber smell I’ve been smelling, and the smoke that’s been issuing forth from the car). When he told me what those would cost to fix, I practically drove off the freeway. But that wasn’t the end of it – there were about six other things that had to be fixed, and his recommendation was that I replace all four tires, too, that it was too dangerous to drive on them any further. The six other things were all mandatory fixes – some belts that were frayed beyond repair, something to do with the starter, and several other cherce items. When he tallied up the entire cost I almost drove off the freeway again. He did say that the transmission and engine are in amazing shape for a ten-year-old car, and he did feel I’ll get at least another few years out of it if I do the work. If I don’t do the work, the car might as well be thrown in the trash. So, I’m doing the work – not quite sure how I’m paying for it yet, but it has to be done or it’s not a safe vehicle to drive. Oy and vey, that’s all I had to say after THAT conversation.

Today, I have to ship out several overseas big orders, and a couple of domestic big orders. I then have to do all the errands I haven’t been able to get to over the last few days. And then, of course, it’s another meal and another tech run-through.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, get over the shock of the car repair cost, I must ship CDs, I must do errands, and I must sup and watch a tech run-through. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Ask BK Day, the day in which you dear readers get to ask me or any dear reader any old question you like and we get to give any old answer we like. So, let’s have loads of lovely questions and loads of lovely answers and loads of lovely postings, and let’s hope I never have to be in a gas station where so many people are passing gas.

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