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April 14, 2008:

THE MUTANT DISHWASHER

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, since when does it take a dishwasher close to two hours to wash dishes? I ask you, where else on all the Internet can you read such a sentence? Nowhere, that’s where. I tell you, I find this heinous (heinous, do you hear me?), this close to two hours to wash dishes. I have no memory of any dishwasher I’ve ever used taking two hours to wash dishes, and yet my brand spanking new dishwasher takes two hours to wash dishes. After an hour of listening to it regurgitate, I looked in the instruction manual and sure enough under normal was the predicted was time was 115 minutes. These dishes were not that dirty. I’d rinsed these dishes. These dishes shouldn’t take more than twenty minutes to wash AND dry. But, here I sit like so much fish, afraid to go to bed whilst this mutant dishwasher is still on, completing its two-hour cycle. I gotta tell you. Well, I’ve just spent quite a bit of time talking about how long my dishwasher takes to wash dishes. And it was time well spent, if you ask me. Do any of your dishwashers take this long? I’d like to have a survey in today’s posts about length of dishwashing time. It will make for fascinating reading just as this paragraph has. What the HELL am I talking about? Don’t I have notes to write? I do, and apparently I’ve got plenty of time to write them since the dishwasher won’t finish washing until around twelve-thirty. Speaking of twelve-thirty, yesterday was a fine little day as days go. For examply, I got up. That was nice. Wait a minute. Hold the telephonic device. Examply??? What the HELL is examply? Have these here notes suddenly gone Dogpatch? I hope they haz. In any case, I got up early and toddled off to the Heim of Ana for a four-hour rehearsal. We finished some work we’d begun yesterday, then moved back to act one and did another start and stop. I really do adore this cast of players, I must say. I have no idea if they’re having as much fun as I am, but their work is really good and they’re all really nice folks – it makes everything so much easier. Usually there’s at least one person in a cast that is problematic, but that isn’t the case here – everyone is terrific and fun. And the staff is really nice, too. There, I’ve said it and I’m glad. The big thing in yesterday’s rehearsal was going back to some older musical staging on I Need An Earthman – the newer staging was busier than the old, and it was just becoming about the movement rather than letting the wonderful gal who’s playing Yoni just sing the song strongly. I’ll let Adam know, just to make sure he’s okay with it, but you have to protect the performer in cases like this and make sure the number is about the vocal first and foremost. Otherwise, the group numbers and Adam’s staging look faboo. Before I go on, may I just say that the dishwasher is STILL washing? That is just an examply of something that drives me crazy. I haz spoken.

After rehearsal, we came back to the San Fernando Valley and had some lunch at Carny’s. I was a pig and had three count them three hot dogs, but it was all I ate all day. I had two with red cabbage and cheese and one with mustard and onions and boy were they yummilicious. We also had some chili cheese fries, but I was pretty good and only ate a small amount. I then came home and sat on my couch like so much fish.

Yesterday, I watched two count them two motion pictures on DVD. Well, not exactly. The first motion picture on DVD I started to watch was entitled Taras Bulba, a film of J. Lee Thompson, a wildly erratic director from the United Kingdom. The film stars Mr. Yul Brynner and Mr. Tony Curtis as – wait for it – father and son. I’d never seen the film, and nothing has changed in that regard because after about five minutes I was out like a light and did not wake up until five minutes before the end of the film. So, all I can tell you is that the transfer looks excellent and Mr. Brynner was wearing a very odd hat that made him look like Harpo Marx. After not watching that DVD, I then put on the second motion picture on DVD, which was entitled Kings Of The Sun, another film of J. Lee Thompson, a very erratic director from the United Kingdom. This film also stars Mr. Yul Brynner alongside Mr. Bernardo himself, George Chakiris. The film is about Mayans. Mr. Chakiris has very nice hair in the film and it never moves. Mr. Richard Basehart’s hair makes him look like Thelma Ritter. The film is a hopeless mess in just about every way. I first saw it at a sneak preview several months before its release. At the mid-way point, about seventy percent of the audience had bailed. It hasn’t gotten better over the years, and the out-of-focus transfer doesn’t help. There is a score by Mr. Elmer Bernstein, but it’s not one of his greats.

In breaking news, the mutant dishwasher has moved to the next cycle – drying. That is a good sign.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because today is a very busy day and I must get my beauty sleep.

Today I must ship three packages, I must do errands and whatnot, and I believe that 1000 cardboard CD mailers will arrive at the mail place today. I have no idea how many boxes they’ll arrive in, but hopefully it won’t be too many. Also arriving this week will be our brand spanking new digital postal machine. I hope it’s here by Wednesday so we can play with it and figure everything out prior to Friday’s all day session of addressing and attaching postage and packaging the CDs, which are supposed to be done that day. If they’re done in the morning, I’ll drive up and get them. If it’s in the afternoon, I’ll send someone else to do so. And if it’s afternoon, then we won’t get to package the CDs until Monday morning – but everything will be stamped and addressed, so that shouldn’t take more than a few hours and then we’ll just take a bunch of big baggies over to the postal office, where we get to go around back and dump them.

Tonight, of course, is another rehearsal – we’ll be doing run-throughs every night this week except Wednesday, which will be a work-through and dance review night.

The rest of this week is really busy. And might I just add that if some of our lurkers haven’t ordered their Evening Primrose CDs, now would be a good time to do so – orders are still coming in every day and these won’t last forever. Just pay a little visit to www.kritzerland.com.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for examply, ship packages, do errands and whatnot, and pick up 1000 cardboard CD mailers, after which I must attend a rehearsal. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s our new initials game day – this week’s initials are really fun – Mark Rothman and I did three days’ worth on these. Remember, you’re on the honor system – no fair looking things up on the Internet or elsewhere. Just name every famous person or character that you know with these initials – it can range from character actors, stars, politicians, sports figures, etc, but not your friends and neighbors. And today’s initials are: MS. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I wait for the mutant dishwasher to finish its neverending story.

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