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April 26, 2008:

UNZIPPED

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, my day off wasn’t quite a day off, but at least I managed to relax just a teeny-tiny bit and do some fun stuff. But mostly I had to unzip. Now, before your collective minds go directly into the gutter, let me explain. I was sent eight count them eight files, and these eight count them eight files all put together added up to one count them one motion picture. I have never downloaded a motion picture in eight parts or any parts and I must say each of these files was quite large – 100mbs. In any case, I got them all downloaded. They were in something called .rar files. Now, being a sixty-year-old Jew with a lovely new hairdo, I don’t know from a .rar file. I clicked on it and nothing happened. I right clicked and it had a thing that said “open with” and I clicked on something called Stuffit Expander. However, Stuffit Expander didn’t seem to work, no matter what I did. Therefore, I stuffed Stuffit Expander. I tried to drag the .rar file into iMovie so that I could then burn it to a DVD. Only you can’t drive a .rar file into iMovie because iMovie doesn’t want to know from a .rar file. After doing a little research, I found that .rar files are a Windows kind of thing. I found a free program to download that was able to open the .rar file and which then converted the eight count them eight .rar files into a one count them one avi movie file. I then dragged that into iMovie, where it began to load. What was supposed to take sixty minutes (according to the task bar) is still going on, almost two hours later. I suppose that’s understandable as the film is a ninety-minute film. Supposedly, it has nineteen minutes left to go, which probably means another hour. Does it really take that long to do such things? After it’s complete, I’ll get all these large files into the trash and nuked right off Ye Olde Harde Drive. So, I’ve learned that .rar files need to be unzipped and Mac doesn’t like unzipping that particular file and you have to download another unzipper to do the unzipping and then you have a whole lot of zipping and unzipping going on, which, I suppose, isn’t a bad thing. Hopefully, this long and arduous process will result in a successful transfer into iMovie and hopefully it will yield a not-too-unpleasant-looking DVD. Speaking of unzipping, yesterday was a day in which I didn’t want to do much, but never stopped doing things. I got up early, did an quick annoying errand, then toddled off the get a new do from Teddy. Teddy told me some interesting and fun news – he’s going to be in the Cambridge Who’s Who for the next two years, the only hairdresser to be included. He did his customary excellent job and I felt pounds lighter, hair-wise. I then came home, did a few things that needed doing, Mr. Mark Rothman arrived, and we toddled over to the Hollywood Collector’s Show. Mr. Rothman had never attended one of these, and he professed to be fascinated. He’d worked with a few of the people there, so we had nice conversations with some pretty terrific folks. We spoke to Dwayne Hickman, who looks unbelievably good – in fact, he could pass for someone in their mid-50s rather than their 70s. He was there with his wife, Joan Roberts Hickman and they were delightfully delightful. We also spoke to Mr. Hickman’s table-neighbor, Mr. Steve Franken, who was also delightful. I told him I’d seen him way back in 1960 in Charley’s Aunt at the Coronet Theater (I’m pretty sure I mention it in Kritzer Time). We met and spoke briefly to Miss Patty Duke, who was very sweet. We had a nice conversation with my pal Miles Krueger. We spoke to Mr. Warren Berlinger, and Mr. Henry Polic, and Mr. Dick Van Patten. I said hey to several dealer friends. All that said, it was the worst-attended Ray Courts show I’ve ever seen – when people like Kevin McCarthy have no people at their table for over an hour, you can imagine how few people were there. Even Miss Duke had no line. Also viewed but not spoken to, Mr. Dom de Luise, Miss Edith Fellows, Miss Lindsay Wagner, Miss Linda Blair, Mr. Gene Barry (who no longer resembles himself), Mr. William Schallert, Mr. Richard Anderson, Mr. Jeff Conaway, and many others. Tomorrow, some heavyweights are there, like Richard Dreyfuss, so I’m sure the attendance will be much better. But, I’m sure the poor economy and air fare prices have something to do with the poor attendance, and once again the admission price has been raised – it’s now twenty dollars (plus eight dollars parking). I had a good time, but only lasted about two hours. Then we supped at Michael’s Bar and Grill, where I had yet another excellently excellent meal, and I even managed to eat slightly less food than I normally do. Oh, I still ate like a pig, but I didn’t oink. I then came home and sat on my couch like so much fish.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below. The movie has another twelve minutes to go before it’s completely unzipped. I, on the other hand, unzipped in no time flat.

Last night, I finally managed to watch a motion picture on DVD entitled The Optimists, starring Mr. Peter Sellers. Somehow, despite being a huge fan of Mr. Sellers, I’d never managed to see this film. I had the soundtrack album, which I liked very much, with songs by Lionel Bart and score by George Martin. I knew the film had been a bomb, but sometimes bombs have a way of aging nicely and suddenly looking good. Unfortunately, The Optimists isn’t very good. I really wanted to like it – I liked the story, Mr. Sellers is wonderful, and the two lead kids are good, as is the music and photography. But the film just meanders along with no real forward momentum, a lot of the dialogue is impossible to understand, and many of what should be strong dramatic points along the way, are just directed so poorly and unclearly, that the whole thing just never comes together in a satisfying way. Still, there are pleasures, and it’s worth a watch just for the superb work of Mr. Sellers and the beautiful gray, rainy, foggy photography of London and outskirts. This is part of a whole slew of licensed titles from Paramount that Legend Films is putting out. It’s great to have some of these, but it seems that Paramount is just handing them whatever transfer they have lying around, and so many of these are really sub-par, with faded color and dirty prints. Happily, that is not the case with The Optimists which, aside from a few speckles at the beginning, is a very sharp transfer with excellent color.

Today, I must get up early and attend a two run-through day for The Brain – mics will be used, and the set will be more finished and most of the props will be there, so it will be fun to see it come together. Tonight, I hope to sit on my couch like so much fish. Tomorrow is the same, with the addition of an evening band rehearsal, which I’ll attend at least part of.

Quick, put on your pointy party hats and your colored tights and pantaloons, break out the cheese slices and the ham chunks, dance the Hora and the Monkey, for today is the birthday of dear reader Jennifer. So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to dear reader Jennifer. One the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO DEAR READER JENNIFER!!!

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, get up early, attend a rehearsal, sup, and watch a motion picture on DVD. Today’s topic of discussion: If you could jump in our handy-dandy haineshisway.com Time Machine and have a meal with any film star in history, who would it be and why, what would you talk about, and where would you eat? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I continue to unzip, hopefully with success. NOTE: The transfer into iMovie froze the program in its last thirty seconds. I had no choice but to force quit, thereby making the three-hour transfer pointless, as I had one ninety-minute all black (and I don’t mean African-American) movie.

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