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July 20, 2008:

ABBREVIATED

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, I think I shall write abbreviated notes this fine evening, for it is late and I am quite exhausted from doing nothing whatsoever. Of course, if I write abbreviated notes will they be difficult to understand? Let’s see – wrtg abbvd nts wd lk lik ths. I don’t know – it’s not very aesthetically pleasing, is it? But, you know, we live in the decade of abbreviation, where no one can be bothered to actually spell things out. Just go onto any chat board or discussion board and you’ll see it. It’s really prevalent in films and Broadway today and frequently I have no idea what the HELL they’re talking about. No one can be bothered to spell out a really long title like In The Heights – it’s ITH. And The Dark Knight, that’s a hard one to type out all three of those words, so we get TDK. I remember seeing a post wherein someone was talking about my favorite Sergio Leone film and they kept referring to it as OUATITW. Frankly, I find it easier to type out Once Upon A Time In The West. These kids today. They can’t even type out Xanadu – it’s ‘Du on one certain discussion board. And just visit any MySpace page and you’ll see the oldest of the abbreviations – U for you. That’s really saving a lot of typing isn’t it? U for you. I think this all started with that awful but quite popular logo for the revival of How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying – H2$. Not quite the same, if you ask me. The newest, of course is the already arch [title of show], which is now tos because typing out title of show takes SOOOOO long. I gotta tell you. But, that’s the sort of world we’re living in now – no one has the patience or the attention span to type out whole words anymore – it’s such a nuisance, after all. Speaking of a nuisance yesterday was quite a weird little day. I got up early, puttered around the home environment, and then headed out to the Dale of Glen to pick up a couple of copies of Kritzer Time from Mystery and Imagination Bookstore. Brand Blvd. unfortunately was completely shut down for a mile because they were having some sort of thing where people park their old vintage cars and passersby come and look at them. I’m pretty good at figuring out alternate routes and I got in and out of there in not time flat, and even in no time sharp. I then made up a big ol’ batch of tuna pasta salad, and then jogged for two count them two miles. I got on the scale and was happy to see that I was a pound and a half lighter than the day before. I still think I should be losing faster, but at least that was something. I then had some of my tuna pasta salad which was, as always, very yummilicious. I then sat on my couch like so much fish and watched The Lone Ranger And The Lost City Of Gold. I didn’t enjoy it as much as The Lone Ranger, for various reasons. Where The Lone Ranger had Stuart Heisler, a very good director, at its helm, TLRATLCOG (don’t you HATE that?) was directed by the barely passable Lesley Selander. Where The Lone Ranger had a rousing score by David Buttolph, The Lone Ranger and the Lost City Of Gold had a forgettable score by Les Baxter. But, Mr. Clayton Moore and Mr. Jay Silverheels were wonderful, and again it was really amazing and nice to see the film’s positive treatment of Native Americans.

After that, I headed over to Amoeba, where I did a little trading. I got a couple of CDs and a couple of DVDs. I came home and had a tiny bit more tuna pasta salad and some melon balls – honeydew and cantaloupe to be exact, ball-wise. I watched the two-part pilot episode of Cannon, starring William Conrad, and one episode. I’m hoping it will get better, because the pilot and the episode were a real snoozefest. One of the reasons I got it was because the how is supposed to be set in LA – but in the pilot and the episode they were nowhere near. The fun of these late 60s/early 70s shows are the guest stars, and this show doesn’t disappoint in that regard. In the pilot, you had Barry Sullivan, neighbor Earl Holliman, Vera Miles, J.D. Cannon (who was in EVERYTHING), and others, and in the first episode you had the ubiquitous William Windom along with Tom Skerrit. I also wasn’t that impressed with the picture quality – Mannix and The Mod Squad look much better.

After that, I finally settled down to watch Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind. I had no interest in seeing the film back in 2002 until I found out it was about Chuck Barris. By that time it was gone from theaters, and gone from my mind. I’d see the title from time to time and never remember it was the film about Barris. I’d liked Good Night and Good Luck or whatever that Edward R. Murrow film that George Clooney directed, so I was not quite prepared for how annoying this film was. I really wanted to like it, but Mr. Clooney is just aping the styles of directors he’d worked with and it’s all that annoyingly weird framing and colorizing shots in post production – all that crap I hate. Certainly the story is bizarre and interesting, but the screenplay by Charlie Kaufman, a writer I just don’t respond to, is like all his other stuff – weird. I also read that Clooney did a lot of rewriting, so who knows what it originally was. It’s narrated by the actor who plays Barris, Sam Rockwell, who does really well in the film, but not with the narration, which is all that whispery/grovelly actor stuff I loathe. I believe that in Mr. Kaufman’s version that Mr. Barris himself was supposed to narrate, and that would have been MUCH better. Drew Barrymore plays the love interest and Julia Roberts plays a spy or operative of some sort. One is told on the imdb that they both did the film for scale – $250,000. Now, I don’t know what universe the people on the imdb inhabit, but scale would be about $10,000 for the days worked, maybe less. There’s also a Dating Game sequence with cameos by Brad Pitt and Matt Damon. I think there was probably a good film in there somewhere, but this wasn’t it. People assume Barris made the whole thing up, but it’s still such a wacky story that it could have made a compelling film instead of what was actually on view. The music is credited to Alex Wurman, but there can’t be more than five minutes of actual score in the film. The rest of the music is from other film scores (like Experiment In Terror and The Quiller Memorandum), and songs.

What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Aren’t I supposed to be writing abbreviated notes? Why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below before I start calling it the UB.

Today, I shall try to get an early jog in, then I have some things to attend to, then I have some tuna pasta salad to eat, then I shall be on my way to attend a screening of my friend David Wechter’s film, Midnight Madness at the New Beverly Theater.

Tomorrow, I have to start prepping for my trip, and someone is coming over at three and I can’t remember who it is. I also have to do some booklet writing for the upcoming Kritzerland CD, and some other writing, too. Oh, yes, now I remember who’s coming at three – Richard Berent, who’ll be musical directing the upcoming reading. He’ll be picking up the sheet music and a CD, so he can begin learning the score.

Okay, let’s all put on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, let’s all break out the cheese slices and the ham chunks, let’s all dance the Hora and the Wah-Watusi, for today is the birthday of our very own Miss Karen. So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to our very own Miss Karen. On the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO OUR VERY OWN MISS KAREN!!!

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, jog, do some errands and whatnot, eat, and then attend a screening. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s free-for-all day, the day in which you dear readers make with the topics and we all get to post about them. So, let’s have loads of lovely topics and loads of lovely postings, shall we, and whatever you do, don’t make them abbreviated.

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