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July 1, 2008:

THE RUNAWAY LETTER

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, I have some rather astonishing news for you – are you sitting down? I’m standing up, and now I’m crouching, and now I’m doing jumping jacks. Why does one always have to sit down for some rather astonishing news? In any case, here is the astonishing news for which you should be sitting, standing, crouching or doing jumping jacks and perhaps even the eight-count burpee – it is July. Can you believe it? Just when you thought it was June, it’s July. I tell you, this year is flying by, like a gazelle tying a yellow ribbon ’round the old oak tree. Just so you know, I once tied a green ribbon ’round the old oak tree – didn’t really do much for me, though, and even less for the tree and the riboon. The riboon? What the HELL is a riboon? I think we’ve just coined another haineshisway.com word – I’ll leave it to you dear readers to come up with its true meaning, and the one I like best will get a special commendation in the form of a green riboon tied ’round the old oak tree. What the HELL am I going on about? I think there was a point somewhere – oh, yes, it’s July. I’ve just finished doing an eight-count burpee, which is amusing since I don’t even know what it is. I think it’s something we did in gym class. Speaking of gym classsssssssssssssssssssssss – whoa, hold on there, Nellybelle, what the HELL just happened? I pressed the final “s” in “class” and the next thing I know all these other s’s were just appearing all by themselves – my finger wasn’t on the “s” at all – the “s” suddenly had a mind of its own and I could not stop it no matter what I did. It finally just stopped by itself. I’ve never had a runaway letter before. Has that happened to other dear readers on their MacBooks or iMacs or whatever they call them these days? The Runaway Letter – that’s the title of my next novel, a story of passion and fish in the West Indies. Speaking of the West Indies, yesterday was such a weird day that I wish to forget all about it. But before I do, here’s what happened. I woke up early, jogged a full two miles, made some telephonic calls, then finished sending music fixes, and recorded the final song so our music guy can do its chart, as well as recording some new segues I wrote for a medley in the Kevin Spirtas/Sean McDermott show – I e-mailed both to their respective folks. I then made some corn on the cob and ate two count them two ears. It wasn’t quite as good as I was hoping, though. After that, I did some errands and whatnot, answered e-mails, sent off dust jacket flap copy, and dealt with a few annoyances. Then I finally sat on my couch like so much fish.

Last night, I watched another Alfred Hitchcock Hour, this one entitled Ride The Nightmare, adapted by Richard Matheson from his novel. The show starred Hugh O’Brien and Gena Rowlands, and was directed by Bernard Girard. While not a classic, it was pretty decent, with some fun location shots in the hills – the hills of Universal City that is. The hills, of course, are no more and now house City Walk, the Universal Amphitheater and other such things. After that, I tried another episode of The Invaders, and I’m afraid I just can’t get with it, just as I couldn’t get with it when it originally aired. There are some terrific guest stars, and I may try and slog through a few more episodes to watch those performances, but as a show it is very one-note.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I don’t want to take the chance of having another runaway letter in this section.

Last night, we also had a bit of unnecessary drama because of an out of context quote from me in the LA Times – I’ve written a letter to the editor explaining the context, and I hope this particular tempest in a teapot is over. Over the years, I’ve done interviews where it’s obvious the writer is trying to create drama where there really isn’t any, and that was the case here. I tried to be very careful in my comments, and had the context of a one-line remark been clearer no one would have cared. But the way in which it was used and where it was used, made it sort of seem like I was being critical of the LA Festival Of New Musicals, which I most certainly was not. In fact, I praised it about fifty times during the interview, which was at least an hour long and covered a lot of ground – which then got reduced to this one tiny quote sans context. I was being very general in my remarks, not specific to the Festival at all and just basically trying to say that the term “new musical” in this day and age has sort of lost its true meaning, since shows these days sometimes go through twenty years of readings and workshops and workshops and readings and even an occasional production followed by more readings and workshops. Next time a newspaper calls, I think I’ll just not take part, because this always happens, this picking one line out of context and using it for whatever purpose the writer wants, rather than how the line was actually used.

Today, I have to get up very early again, I’ll try to jog again, and I have some errands and whatnot to do. Tonight’s rehearsal has been pushed to tomorrow night. I’ve been trying to eat very reasonable meals and I think I have been and I think I’ve lost a pound or two in the last six days. Jogging, of course, helps one’s metabolic rate, so I’m going to try and do it more regularly.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, wake up early, try to jog, do errands and whatnot, have a few telephonic calls, and then sit on my couch like so much fish. Today’s topic of discussion: Since I’m now trying to lose some weight, what are your favorite diet tricks – you know, what foods do you eat and how do you prepare them, the dishes that you can eat and still lose weight. What portion size, how many times a day – let’s have a full day’s diet menu of your favorite diet foods, complete with calorie count. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, and hopefully The Episode of The Runaway Letter is over and done with, and let us all hope and pray that July is a wonderful, happy, and prosperous month for us all.

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