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August 27, 2008:

THE SHOPPING LIST

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, this week is flying by, like a gazelle in a hot tub. I could have sworn it was just Monday (son of a bitch, it was just Monday). And yet it is now Wednesday. What happened to Tuesday? In any case, this week is flying by, like a gazelle in traction and there is nothing to be done about it. We must simply accept the fact that these days time seems to be in a hurry. Speaking of a hurry, yesterday was a day that was over before it began, and I mean that in the nicest possible way. I got up, and then did the long jog. I then had to do several errands and whatnot, although I cannot really remember what they were. Oh, I picked up a small package at the mail place, and I went to Gelson’s and bought a can of tuna fish, an onion, and some mayonnaise, and I think I went one or two other places. I then had me some tuna sandwiches (two, on low-cal, no-fat grams bread), and a peach. For some reason, my stomach didn’t like the peach, and, conversely, the peach didn’t like my stomach – but that passed quickly and then I felt fine. I had several nice telephonic conversations, did some work on the computer, and then somehow the day was already over. I went to Von’s and bought some flavored sparkling waters, some light bulbs, some Quakes ranch-flavored rice cakes, some Kleenex, and stuff like that. What is this, my shopping list all of a sudden? Who cares that I went to Von’s and bought Kleenex? Am I insane? Well, I think we all know the answer to THAT one. I then sat on my couch like so much fish.

Last night, I watched two count them two motion pictures on DVD. The first motion picture on DVD was entitled The Andromeda Strain, part two of the mini-series remake. I didn’t really think it possible, but part two exceeded part one in terms of badness, ineptitude, awful direction, terrible writing, and bad acting. It was just one horrible scene after another, accompanied by relentless droning, thumping music, actors speaking in that “now” way – monotone, every line sounding the same, every performance sounding and looking the same, and every visual cliché of the last ten years. For example, there is a long table in a meeting room – the table is lit. For no reason other than so that the actors can be lit from below. The writer clearly didn’t trust Mr. Crichton’s wonderful tome and felt he had to add every dreary movie and TV cliché known to man, especially the government conspiracy cliché, which gives us the “surprise” last shot that anyone who’s seen any movie of the last twenty years will know is coming. I cannot say enough about how terrible this film is. And how about those Executive Producers – Ridley Scott and Tony Scott, along with David Zucker. Did they READ this script? Or do they just lend their names and take home a big check. Tony Scott is a terrible director, and Ridley hasn’t really made an interesting film since Blade Runner, and their producing abilities are seriously lacking if this is the best they can do. And why is David Zucker, who used to be very amusing, part of this disaster. This is the sort of thing he would SPOOF – but, again, he probably got a nice check and there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s plenty wrong with foisting a festering piece of junk like this on the public, though. The money wasted could have been spent better elsewhere. I then watched the second motion picture on DVD, which, funnily, was also entitled The Andromeda Strain, this time the original film directed by Robert Wise from a screenplay by Nelson Giddings. First off, I loved the book of The Andromeda Strain. I loved it because it was clean – it told its story, you could follow it, and there were no extraneous detours, unlike the remake, which threw in about ninety minutes of extraneous detours that had nothing to do with Mr. Crichton. The Robert Wise film is clean, too, but when I saw it back then I didn’t think it quite worked, and it certainly didn’t work as well as the book. Today, despite the dated computer technology, it still works a lot better than the feeble remake. The actors have personalities, don’t speak in whispered monotone, and seem to be playing characters. They’re not all buffed up like today’s actors – they’re PEOPLE. Some of the film works very well, but I still don’t think it quite does what it wants to do. But, it’s a four-star masterpiece compared to the remake.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because it is late and I must get my beauty sleep, for tomorrow is a busy day.

Today, I shall get up early and do my long jog and get it out of the way. I then have to do a couple of early errands, and then Mr. Barry Pearl will be picking up me and another friend of his and we’ll be lunching at Langer’s Deli, the best deli anywhere. I’m not sure what I’ll eat, but whatever it is, it will be yummilicious in the extreme. When I get back home from the lunch, then I’ll have to do a few more errands and whatnot, including printing out the Nudie Musical script.

Tomorrow, I have a morning meeting, and then I’m doing organizational things all afternoon, a lot of which has to do with the upcoming LACCTAA events. I also may have to meet Mr. Spirtas in the early evening to go look at a potential venue for the new show.

Friday, I have tons to do and will then be attending the opening night of Vanities, at the Pasadena Playhouse in Pasadena. I’ll be supping beforehand.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, jog, do errands, lunch at Langer’s, do more errands, and then sit on my couch like so much fish. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Ask BK Day, the day in which you get to ask me or any dear reader any old question you like and we get to give any old answer we like. So, let’s have loads of lovely questions and loads of lovely answers and loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst tomorrow’s notes will hopefully not include my shopping list.

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