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September 19, 2008:

STRANGLING A ZEBU IN MAJORCA

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, another week has flown by, like a gazelle wearing a thong in Majorca. And let me tell you, if you haven’t seen a gazelle wearing a thong in Majorca, well, you haven’t lived. My refrigerator is currently making odd noises, as if someone were in there trying to get out. It’s really annoying, actually and actually it’s really annoying. It’s nothing major, just these little thumps every now and then but it makes me want to strangle a zebu. They definitely have something major in Majorca, like the first five letters of Majorca, which are, of course, major. I’m just going to Babylon for a little while longer, because I’m having trouble focusing and I shan’t be writing unfocused notes because that would be unseemly. Maybe it’s not my refrigerator making the odd noises, maybe it’s my stomach. Whatever it is, it makes me want to strangle a zebu – in Majorca. Strangling A Zebu In Majorca – that’s the title of my next novel, a witty and gay story of intrigue and politics among the jet set. I think Grahame Greene may have written such a novel, but I can’t be sure. Speaking of Grahame Greene, yesterday was an odd sort of day. I got up early, did the long jog, and then had to quickly shower and hie myself to an early lunch with Mr. Barry Pearl. We went to Stanley’s. We shared some drumettes to start – they weren’t nearly as good as they were last time, and I think I’m now ready for a drumettes hiatus. I then tried a salad I’ve never had before, but that some friends have raved about. It’s called Amy’s Salad, and it consists of butter lettuce, avocado, grapefruit slices, chicken, and cashews, with a soy dressing, in fact the same soy dressing used on their Chinese chicken salad. Well, it was out of this world and I ate it all up, every last morsel of it. Mr. Pearl and I had a lovely time, and he told me the good news that he just landed a part in Happy Days: The Musical, which will play in La Mirada at the McCoy/Rigby theater down there, and then tour around these United States. What fun. I’ll be going down to La Mirada to see it. After that, I went to the mail place and picked up a few pieces of mail, but no packages. I then came home and packaged up a few orders and took them to the post office. I then went to the bank to make a deposit. There was a line almost out the door, and that’s been a familiar site all week. You must understand, I have been going to this branch for almost ten years now and there is never a line – the worst it ever gets is two or three people ahead of you. I got so annoyed today that I called the manager over and asked what it was about. And what it is about is older people scared of what’s happening just checking on their money or taking it out. The rest of it is Washington Mutual customers who’ve closed their accounts and brought them over to my bank. Great – just what we need. The lines at WaMu are terrible all the time, even before the trouble. Now we’ll get to have their lines. There are three other banks within seconds of mine and I wish to HELL they’d gone to those, because who needs these people mucking up my bank? Not me. I then came home, did some work on the computer, had a couple of telephonic calls, and then the day was done and I sat on my couch like so much fish.

Last night, I watched a motion picture on DVD entitled Duel At Diablo or, as the onscreen title reads, Ralph Nelson’s Duel At Diablo. I like Ralph Nelson okay, but he really was never a director who deserved a possessory credit. I’d never seen Duel At Diablo before. It’s an odd oater. There are two stories at play – one, James Garner trying to find the man who murdered his Indian wife. And the other about Bibi Andersson, who was taken by the Indians and who had a child by one of them, and she keeps running away from her husband (Dennis Weaver) to be with her child. And then there’s the Apaches trying to kill everyone in sight – as the cavalry tries to get ammunition to another fort. And then there’s Sidney Poitier as a contract horse dealer and former Cavalry man who is trying to get paid for the horses he’s delivered. There are plenty of decent action scenes, but there’s just too much going on and Mr. Nelson has a real sadistic streak in him that would come to full fruition with his film Soldier Blue. The score by Neil Hefti is quite good and it all moves along at a steady clip, but it just doesn’t add up to much, I’m afraid. The transfer is one of those MGM/UA non-anamorphic things – color is very good, though, but sound is quite muddy.

What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below so that I can begin writing my new novel, Strangling A Zebu In Majorca.

Today, I shall get up early, do the long jog, then go to my storage facility to look for a couple of photographs that I want to use for our LACCTAA newsletter. After that, I’ll probably do a few errands and whatnot, then come home and do some work here. At some point, Mr. Cason Murphy is coming over briefly, and then I have to have a telephonic meeting in the afternoon. Otherwise, it’s a somewhat light day.

On Saturday, I’ll be driving to San Juan Capistrano to see a reading of a new musical. Mr. Pearl is going with me, as I refused to go unless I had someone in the car with me for that long a drive. In no traffic, we should be there in about an hour and fifteen minutes. We’re going to get there early and eat, then attend the reading. A mutual friend of ours is in the reading, so that will be fun, and the director is the gal who played Joyce in The Brain From Planet X at the Chance Theater. Sunday I have no plans and I plan to keep it that way.

Now wait just a darned minute. Let’s all put on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, let’s all break out the cheese slices and the ham chunks, let’s all dance the Hora and the Tap-Tap-Tapioca because today is the birthday of our very own and very unique Larry Moore, aka elmore. So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to our very own and very unique Larry Moore, aka elmore. On the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO OUR VERY OWN AND VERY UNIQUE LARRY MOORE, AKA ELMORE!!!

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, do the long jog, go to storage, do errands and whatnot, and sup on something fun. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Friday – what is currently in your CD player and your DVD/video player? I’ll start – CD, the new Shaft soundtrack collection. DVD, I’m thinking it’s time to revisit Franju’s Eyes Without A Face. Your turn. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst we await the birth of a new book (soon to be a major motion picture), Strangling A Zebu in Majorca.

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