Haines Logo Text
Column Archive
October 14, 2008:

BRAZILIAN WAX

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, I hate to be the one to point this out, but has anyone noticed that October is almost half over? This month is flying by, like a gazelle with a Brazilian wax. And let me tell you, every single day of this month has been an adventure – some good, some bad, some ugly. Speaking of ugly, yesterday was pretty ugly, and yet it was enlivened with some good, as well. I got up earlier than I wanted to because I was so congested I simply couldn’t breathe. I staggered to the computer and woke it up – I figured if I was up the fershluganah computer should be up. I had no bars. That is not a good thing. The cable modem was working, the Airport wireless device was working and yet I had no bars, and every time I clicked on said bars and tried to get on my network it asked me for my password, which it is not supposed to do, since it’s in my keychain. This happened last July, this same exact thing. I’d get a screen and it has my password saved so I click on it but it never finds my network. I felt I was a man without a network. I had no network to speak of, other than a DVD of a film entitled Network. I unplugged a few things, restarted the computer, replugged – nothing, nada, zilch. I then called Time Warner, just to make sure everything was all right with their service – it was. They had me plug directly into the computer from the cable modem and everything worked fine. Now, I’m talking to these people on the phone but almost no sound is coming out of my mouth except ugly sickening croaking. They suggested I call Apple, which I then did, and I spent another twenty minutes croaking on the phone with them. What the problem seems to be is that someone is using the network called linksys and it must be on a similar channel to my Airport and the Apple man thinks it’s interfering with my signal occasionally. Nothing to be done about it, unfortunately. He said I could reset my channel, but that it might be worse. But he gave me some instructions to use if it happens again, and I have to do those instructions in the order he gave me. What that does is clear the signal path and gets the Apple to recognize my signal again. What a pain in the ASS. So, finally, I was online. I then did the long jog, which was excruciating. My muscles are so achy from whatever I’ve got that it was just really hard to do – the last few days have been super easy, so it was doubly annoying. When I returned I realized that I had to stay home and do nothing but rest and relax, which is exactly what I did, save for a short trip to Gelson’s. I did a few things on the computer, but mostly I kept my big yap shut and sat on my couch like so much fish.

Yesterday, I watched two count them two motion pictures I’d TIVOd. The first motion picture I TIVOd was entitled Shockproof, starring Mr. Cornell Wilde and a woman I’d never seen before named Miss Patricia Knight, who was at the time Mrs. Cornell Wilde. More interestingly, the film was co-written by Sam Fuller and directed by Douglas Sirk. I must say I found it very enjoyable – it’s definitely a B-movie, but the players are good and it held my attention and it was nice and short. Mr. Wilde was very good, and Miss Knight was quite a long tall drink of water – very pretty and a good actress. After her deevorce from Mr. Wilde, her career basically ended. I never did figure out what the title had to do with the movie. I then watched the second motion picture that I’d TIVOd, which was entitled The Snorkel. No, it’s not an undersea adventure picture, it’s a neat little Hammer Films thriller written by Jimmy Sangster and directed by the excellent Guy Green (A Patch Of Blue). The film stars Peter van Eyck as the snorkel-wearer, Betta St. John, and a wonderful child actress (then fifteen-year-old) called Mandy Miller. It’s the old chestnut about a kid who knows her stepfather killed her father, then her mother (making it look like suicide), but the kid can’t get anyone to believe her. However, it’s done very freshly, and there’s a terrific little twist at the end that I thought was very clever. Apparently the original British cut of the film runs around ninety minutes, but this US release version that TCM showed, only runs 76 minutes. I’d be interested to know what was cut. In any case, it was a very enjoyable double bill.

The good part of yesterday was getting another fairly big order for Laurette, that took me down to only forty copies left. Needless to say, that made me happy. I’m trying to get the next Kritzerland limited edition CD release ready to announce in a couple of weeks and I suspect that release will sell out equally as fast. I continued to be congested and my nose was runny but my coughing subsided a little bit and by the end of the day I wasn’t quite as phelgmy and my voice was a little stronger.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because the thought of that gazelle with a Brazilian wax is making me want to vomit on the ground.

Today, I shall endeavor to do the long jog, and then I have a two-hour work session at two o’clock. Otherwise, I’ll try to take it easy for the rest of the day.

I haven’t made any plans for the rest of the week and won’t until I feel better, other than we’re trying to have a LACCTAA meeting on Friday.

I’m quite anxious to be feeling better. I’m quite bored of blowing my nose every two minutes and I’m quite tired of feeling like there’s cotton in my head. Oh, yes, I’m quite tired of those things. Shortly I shall take some Ny-Quil, an Alavert, and a Mucinex and if that cocktail doesn’t get me to sleep through the night, nothing will.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, do the long jog, relax, have a two-hour work session, eat something fun, and then relax some more. Today’s topic of discussion: Things You’ve Won. I, personally, have won two things in my entire life, I think – one was a bottle of bubbles (you know, the kind you blow) that I won at the Picfair Theater in the mid-1950s. The other was a lobby card set from the movie Cruising. Is there a theme there? So, what are the coolest things you’ve won – not auctions or eBay – I mean raffles, lotteries, Publisher’s Clearing House, sweepstakes, drawings and stuff like that. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hope I do not dream of anything to do with a Brazilian wax. Brazilian was was, of course, quite popular in the 1960s, especially the Bossa Nova.

Search BK's Notes Archive:
 
© 2001 - 2019 by Bruce Kimmel. All Rights Reserved