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October 19, 2008:

THE NEVER-ENDING STORY

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, the dreaded whatever-it-is-that-I-have is hanging on like The Never-ending Story. I suppose there’s nothing to be done about it other than to let nature take its course. Nature is always taking it’s course, and it is not to happy about having it’s course taken all the time, especially by such a scamp as nature. In any case, every time I think I’m getting better I get worse and this is perhaps the worst flu bug I’ve ever had. Since I believe these yearly convenient flu bugs are put into the air by our government (I’m sorry, there is just no other explanation that I’ll believe – every year at the same time, always slightly different flu, and what happens to said flu the rest of the damn year), I can only say, thanks a lot, fellas. I am not a conspiracy theorist except for this one thing – call me Oliver Stone on this topic. Speaking of this topic, yesterday was a tough day, feeling sick-wise. I had to get up early and I did the long jog earlier than usual, which I really wasn’t quite ready for. It was very difficult, and by the end of it, my legs and back were so sore it was hard to even stand up straight. I then had to kill a couple of hours whilst she of the Evil Eye cleaned the home environment. Then I came home and showered and then a friend came over to help address packages. We got them all done in about an hour, so all that has to happen is for them to be stuffed and stamped, not necessarily in that order. I then headed over to Stanley’s to have my promised nice meal o’ the day. I had their yummilicious Chinese chicken salad, which was quite refreshing and quite filling and it’s just what I needed. I also had one piece of bread with one pat of butter. After that, I came home. By this time I was already feeling worse and my friend thankfully gave me a back rub, which really helped a lot. After said friend left, I did a few things on the computer, and then listened to the master of the new Kritzerland CD, which came out better than I thought it would. It’s archival sound, but the mastering guy did a masterful job with it. There are still a handful of anomalies on a couple of tracks, but for the most part, I’m very pleased. I then finally sat on my couch like so much fish, where I started to have a slight case of the chills. Damn them, damn them all to hell.

Last night, I watched what is perhaps literally the worst film ever made. Plan Nine From Outer Space usually is accorded that honor, but this film makes Plan Nine look like Citizen Kane. The film, which I watched on DVD, is entitled The Creeping Terror, a terribly low-budget film about a rampaging monster from outer space that resembles an Oriental rug with fringe. There seem to be about five people inside the costume, and the creature moves so laboriously and slowly that its victims, instead of doing what any normal person would do and run away, just have to stand there until the carpet eats them. I know, I’m making it sound entertaining, but believe me, it’s not. It’s an excruciating seventy-five minute waste of celluloid is what it is, but it has a certain surreal, loopy charm because its filmmakers accidentally lost the soundtrack. Since they couldn’t get all the actors back to post-synch the film, the hired a narrator who tells us what people are saying. Yes, we watch the actors have a conversation while a narrator tells us what they’re talking about. A handful of lines are dubbed in, but they never match what the actors were originally saying. This really does have to be seen to be believed. The transfer, befitting such a wretched film, is open matte (as if the cameraman know how to frame a shot – the huge headroom only adds a certain charm to the film), splicy, scratchy, and dupey-looking. I then watched three episodes of Dragnet – these were very early shows from 1952, before Ben Alexander joined the show as Frank Smith. Jack Webb’s partner in these three episodes I watched as Barney Phillips, a good actor, but without the chemistry that Webb and Alexander would have. In these early shows, they still credited the radio program it was adapted from, and it seems like the scripts are, in fact, recycled from radio – there is only one guest star per episode, which would change drastically when Alexander joined the show. On the first episode from 1952, the guest star was Lee Marvin, and boy was he good – he virtually had a show-length monologue. The guest in the third episode was Vic Perrin, who apparently at one point also played Webb’s partner. The quality of these early episodes is pretty ropey.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I must get to bed, try to sleep in, and try to feel better.

Today, for the first time in over four months, I will probably not do the long jog – it’s just too difficult and when I’m achy, it’s ridiculous to try to do it, so unless I’m really feeling good in the morning, which I doubt I will, I’m staying put and resting and relaxing. I’ll have to go out at some point, and get food, and I’ll probably get a big bowl of chicken soup, which should help make me feel better.

Tomorrow, I’ve canceled everything and will stay home and rest, because starting Tuesday, sick or not, I have to go back to work, working with the singer, and then doing five straight days of rehearsals for the Sean and Kevin show.

I’m also stopping all pills – no more Mucinex or Alavert – I stopped Ny-Quil days ago (I’d only done Ny-Quil three times). I’ll probably have a cup of hot EmergenC in the morning.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, relax, rest, get better, eat soup, and just sit on my couch like so much fish the entire day and evening. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s free-for-all day, the day in which you dear readers get to make with the topics and we all get to post about them. So, let’s have loads of lovely topics and loads of lovely postings, shall we, and let us hope The Never-ending Story ends by the close of business Monday.

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