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November 5, 2008:

THE UPS ADVENTURE

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, I have had me another UPS adventure. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, I, BK, have had me another UPS (Unbelievably Putrid Stinkers) adventure. Two UPS packages were supposed to arrive today. One did, one didn’t. They were both coming from the same place. This has happened before and the result is always the same. The local branch in Van Nuys simply lies about everything – not once, not twice, but as many times as they have to. When the package didn’t arrive, I called UPS immediately. They told me what they always tell me – that the driver has until six-thirty to deliver. And I tell them what I always tell them – the driver makes ONE delivery to the UPS Store, and another at six to pick up packages only. But they’re reading from their little script and are quite hard-headed, which means one must get a supervisor on the phone, which I did. The first supervisor did the right thing – she actually called Van Nuys and found out what was really going on. Van Nuys told her the package was out for delivery. First they tried to tell her that an attempt was made for a pickup at four-thirty. That was obviously a rather inept error on their part, since this was a delivery, not a pickup. They then admitted that was a mistake. They then admitted that the package was put on the wrong truck. They were instructed to call me and discuss it. I was told the call would come in ten minutes, which, of course, it did not. It did come about an hour later, and I was told that the package would be delivered the next day. I told them that was unacceptable and that I expected it to be delivered to my house as soon as possible. Before they could give me more lies, I got off the phone and got another supervisor on the line. She was great – she would not let them off the hook and they finally promised that the package would be delivered to my home no later than seven-thirty. I told said supervisor that they would not show up – she promised again that they would. I was right. I called and got another supervisor on the phone – this one a guy. This person was arrogant, rude, and incompetent, and a first-class liar who clearly didn’t want to be bothered. I called right back and got another supervisor on the phone, a gal, and I told her the guy’s name and she promised she would find out where he was and report his behavior. She then called Van Nuys and once again the people there lied and said they’d never promised to deliver the package and that it would be delivered the next day. This supervisor noted their names and I’ll be able to file a formal complaint against these lying sacks of manure today, which you can be sure I will. It’s all noted in my record, thankfully, each and every conversation that was had. This supervisor told me she’d call me first thing in the morning and tell me that the package is on the truck and give me an ETA for the arrival time. She will also have the head person in Van Nuys call me so I can file my formal complaint. I gotta tell you. The three female supervisors were all terrific. As to the guy supervisor, I hope they fire his ass out of there. And that was my UPS Adventure. Prior to the adventure, I got up, did the long jog, went to Langer’s and had a yummilicious pastrami sandwich with cole slaw and Russian dressing and one and a half lattkes, and then I came home and with the aid of my helper, we addressed a humungous number of packages. After that, the day was basically over, save for the ongoing UPS Adventure. I finally sat on my couch like so much fish, exhausted.

Last night, I watched two count them two motion pictures on DVD. The first motion picture on DVD was entitled The Tall T, starring Randolph Scott and Richard Boone, directed by Budd Boetticher. I’m a huge fan of the Scott/Boetticher films, and I’d never seen The Tall T. It’s a wonderful motion picture entertainment. These films are lean and spare, short, to the point, with great storytelling. And they are filled with really interesting characters with a surprising amount of depth. In The Tall T, Richard Boone’s character is really fascinating – not just a standard issue villain. Mr. Scott is always great, and only Maureen O’Sullivan disappointed – I just don’t think she was a very good actress. The transfer was pretty grainy, but the colors were okay and it’s reasonably sharp. I then watched the second motion picture on DVD, which was entitled Buchanan Rides Alone, another of the Scott/Boetticher pictures. I’d also never seen the film, and while I enjoyed it very much, it’s not quite up there with the other films. Scott is great, and there’s an absolutely wonderful performance from L.Q. Jones. Transfer is nothing special, but it looks okay and is sharp. Both films run seventy-eight minutes.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because the UPS Adventure has left me very tired and with a first-class headache.

Today, I shall do the long jog (weather permitting), and then I will attach postage to all those boxes that were addressed yesterday. After that, it’s a trip to buy new running shoes, and a trip to Costco. And a trip to the mail place to hopefully pick up the UPS (Uppity Perckerwood Society) package that should have been delivered yesterday. And somewhere in between all that I shall find something amusing to eat.

Tomorrow, I have a meeting with Druxy and a bunch of writing to do. I’m also going to finally try and reschedule with Grant Geissman to record the Nudie Musical demo.

The rest of the week will be filled with trying to book about five more first-class performers for the Bacharach show in New York. We’ve just added Mr. Billy Porter to our merry troupe.

Oh, and we have a new President of the United States, and congratulations to him on his victory.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, do the long jog, attach postage to packages, buy new running shoes, do some bulk shopping at Costco, and eat something amusing. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Ask BK Day, the day in which you dear readers get to ask me or any dear reader any old question you like and we get to give any old answer we like. So, let’s have loads of lovely questions and loads of lovely answers and loads of lovely postings and let’s hope the UPS Adventure ends happily with the early arrival of my should have been delivered yesterday package.

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