Haines Logo Text
Column Archive
December 17, 2008:

IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, it’s the most wonderful time of the year and frankly I’m dreaming of a white Christmas and I do hope you have yourself a merry little Christmas with some chestnuts roasting on an open fire, which is, I suppose, better than chestnuts roasting on a closed fire. I hate roasting chestnuts on a closed fire, don’t you? In fact, I hate roasting chestnuts period. What the HELL is a chestnut anyway? A nut that comes from the chest, like the monster in Alien? And if there are chestnuts are there also kneenuts and elbownuts and – I think I’ll stop right there. The other thing I don’t like is when that gadabout Jack Frost nips at my nose. Damn them, damn them all to hell. That’s all Jack Frost does, nips at people’s noses and frankly it’s a tired old act and I wish he’d do something new, like nipping at my teeth. Santa, of course, is getting the reindeer ready, and if they come to LA the reindeer can be called raindeer, since we seem to be in rainy mode. This is the time of year when people make Egg Nog. I don’t know about you, dear readers, but I would never drink anything called Egg Nog. First of all, I don’t drink eggs, and don’t get me started on nog. Another thing I don’t like is candy canes. And you know what, that’s okay – I’m a citizen and I don’t have to. If I did, then perhaps I’d be known as citizen cane. But enough about me. It’s the Christmas season, my true love is sending me all manner of unseemly things, and that fershluganah Jack Frost keeps nipping at my nose. It is a time for playing Christmas music, such as Silver Bells and Silent Night or playing our favorite singers singing our favorite Christmas songs. It’s too bad Carol Channing never did a Christmas album – they could have called it A Christmas Carol. I’d love to hear Miss Channing sing O Little Star Of Bethlehem or Hello, Santa or Egg Nog Is A Girl’s Best Friend. I can keep doing this for hours, you know, but perhaps I should get on with the notes. Speaking of the notes, yesterday was a neither here nor there day. I woke up early, thought about doing the long jog, but it was just too gray and too cold, so I took the day off, jogging-wise, only the second or third time I’ve missed a jog since July. And I’m jiggy with that. Or should it be, I’m joggy with that? I then drove to the DGA and took care of some business, then came home, did some work on the computer, and then had a two-hour work session. After that, I did some errands and whatnot and then decided to do my weekly splurge meal at the Cheesecake Factory. I had my beloved spicy cashew chicken, which I hadn’t had in over two years. I could barely finish half of it, whereas I used to polish off the entire thing (it’s a large portion). I had one piece of bread and a little Caesar salad. I was quite full and it was all quite yummilicious. After that, I came home, did some more work on the computer, and then I finally sat on my couch like so much fish.

Last night, I watched the final three episodes of The Mod Squad (heaven knows when they’ll put out the second half of season two – the way they release these things is quite idiotic). Certainly the first half of season two, through episode thirteen, has been a mixed bag (as Linc would say) – some good episodes, some bad episodes, and some really lame episodes. The first season had a much better track record. The final two episodes were good, though. The first about a Jewish TV repairman who’s cousin is a slum landlord who refuses to repair and fix all the problems in his buildings. Marvin Kaplan is fun as the TV repairman, and Steve Franken plays a Rabbi and is also very good. Noam Pitlick as the cousin was so DRAMATIC and over the top that I thought he was going to burst through the TV screen. The final episode was very atypical and a complete delight, about a con man, wonderfully played by the great Maurice Evans. It was light, funny, and Tige Andrews was at his best here. I am continually impressed with the original scores for the show, all by Earle Hagen and Billy May, and the transfers, as I’ve mentioned, are gorgeous. Bring on the second half of season two.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because it’s the most wonderful time of the year and one simply must click on all Unseemly Buttons, including the curious case of Benjamin Unseemly Button.

Today, I shall hopefully do the long jog, I shall go to Costco to buy big platters of foodstuffs for the LACCTAA partay, I shall do errands and whatnot, I shall hopefully pick up a package or three, and I shall attend the LACCTAA partay. Since I probably won’t eat any of the Costco food, after that partay I shall go eat something fun and fancy free.

Tomorrow and Friday are both relatively free at the moment, and I’m going to try and keep them that way, as I have much to do – Nudie fixes and changes to enter, Christmas cards to send, a couple of packages to ship, and stuff like that.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, do the long jog, go to Costco, do errands and whatnot, and attend a partay, after which I shall eat something amusing. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Ask BK Day, the day in which you get to ask me or any dear reader any old question you like and we get to give any old answer we like. So, let’s have loads of lovely questions and loads of lovely answers and loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst we remember that it’s the most wonderful time of the year – and let’s not forget to roast our nuts on an open fire. One simply must.

Search BK's Notes Archive:
 
© 2001 - 2019 by Bruce Kimmel. All Rights Reserved