Well, dear readers, we’re going to have some pretty exciting Kritzerland announcements in the coming weeks, including one cast album release (never before on CD), one potential cast album release (ditto), and two classic soundtrack releases. Those releases should take us through June, and then there will be even more things coming. We’re having a lot of fun putting these out, and since a few of them have been holy grail material, it also gives me great pleasure and satisfaction, especially when we can deliver a release that’s really special, either sound or presentation-wise. So, stay tuned – you’ll hear about here first.
Drafts are annoying aren’t they? And that includes the draft where they used to take young men and put them in uniform and send them off to an unpopular way – back in the 1960s. It was a scary time, especially for the likes of people like me. I was in school, I was a young actor, and the thought of getting the dreaded notice was as horrifying to me as it was to most people my age, at least people with brains in their head. Sure enough, one day I got the dreaded notice to report. I was literally shaking as I read it. I began to picture me in a uniform holding a rifle and I knew right then and there I was going nowhere, even if it meant leaving the country. The latter wasn’t really an option, so I knew I had to do what I had to do – others were doing what they had to do, as well. As the days ticked by I got more nervous and more determined to do whatever was necessary. I discussed the situation with a lot of people. I heard stories of what people were doing to get out of serving – most commonly going to the bathroom in their clothes. I wasn’t about to do that, either. I sat alone in my room, thinking about what to do, thinking about which devices I’d heard about might work for me. One of the things I’d heard about was acting paranoid and demanding to see the on-site psychiatrist or whatever he was, and then acting like a total paranoid schizophrenic. I knew what paranoia was and I was an actor and I figured I could play it, as well as throw in a dollop of schizophrenia. But since it was becoming common for people to do that, I figured I had to take it a step further and come up with something unique that no one else had done.
I stayed up for forty-eight hours straight before I was to report. When I get that tired I get very disoriented-looking, and also overemotional and just out there. That was good. I went down there. I’d figured out the something unique I had to do and even though I was petrified of doing it, I basically knew it would work, had to work – I’d really thought it out and knew I was on interesting terra firma. First we had to take an intelligence test – I filled it out to the best of my ability until I got to the folding the boxes section – I had no patience for those kinds of things (never have, never will) and I just ticked off whatever box that caught my eye. After that, we were taken into another room to disrobe for our physicals. And that is where I had to give the performance of my life. While the other fellows were disrobing I just stood there. Finally, someone came up to me and told me to get going, to disrobe. I shook my head. They got louder and told me to stop fooling around. I shook my head and said, “I can’t undress in front of other people – I never have and I never will.” This person then started screaming at me, in my face, with all his might, telling me to get my clothes off NOW. I stood there and shook my head. I knew they couldn’t force me – that was my ace in the hole. And I knew without a physical, they couldn’t take me. I was told, loudly, to go see the psychiatrist. I was ushered into his office. He conveniently left the door slightly open, perfect for a paranoid person. As he asked me questions about my refusal to get undressed in front of others, I answered while occasionally glancing back at the open door. He finally asked me if I felt people were watching me. I quickly answered “No!” with much vehemence, while I kept looking at the door. I was very childish in my answers about the undressing thing. He made notes and when it was all over, I was ushered out of the room. About ten minutes later I was out of there and I knew I wasn’t going in the army. I was, I found out, a paranoid schizophrenic with adolescent tendencies, and furthermore, I’d failed the mental test (thank you box-folding questions). The fellows who were wetting themselves didn’t fool anyone, unfortunately – I believe they were all classified 1A. I was told I might have to come back in a year.
That, however, was not quite the end of the story. Back at LACC I was doing whatever play we were doing at the time. I was in the dressing room nightly, undressing in front of anyone and everyone. I got a call one day from the school doctor telling me he’d been asked to spy on me and to see whether I was telling the truth. Thankfully, the doctor was totally anti-war. Thanks to the warning, I was put in a private dressing room and if someone checked on me I guess they found out I was not dressing with everyone else. And that was the end of that. Almost.
Right after I got married, I got another letter that I was to report. I responded in teeny-tiny lettering, enclosing a copy of the paperwork from my first visit, and saying that the man from the first time told me I never had to come back because they couldn’t take me on account of the fact that I would never EVER undress in front of anyone. I sent it off. And that really WAS the end of that because a year later they implemented the lottery system for the draft and my number was at the very very end, a number that would never come up. And then the draft was abolished. Others were not so lucky as I – they went, they died, or they came back severely damaged. It was a terrible time, and one I hope that no young person will ever be forced to go through again. Those who serve and serve with pride deserve all the kudos they can be given. Those who, for whatever reasons, conscience or cowardice or just not being the type cut out to be in that environment, should never be derided or made fun of.
Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because it is late and I have quite a busy little day ahead of me.
Yesterday was Easter. I hopped around all the livelong day and night and was quite festively festive. I got a really good night’s sleep, did a very brisk long jog, went to Office Depot and printed out the script for the long musical, read the first forty pages of same, as well as packaging up thirty new orders (thanks to the Suskin review of Illya Darling), and then having an Easter supper at Hugo’s, where I had the mac and cheese with porcini mushrooms and peas – it was okay and not as good as the mac and cheese they’ve had for years. Shame on them for always changing dishes that people love to dishes that just aren’t as good. I then came home, stuffed to the gills, and sat on my couch like so much fish and watched a motion picture on DVD entitled Four Flies On Gray Velvet, a film of Dario Argento, his third in the series that began with The Bird With The Crystal Plumage and Cat O’ Nine Tails. These films are thought of as classics, but I don’t find any of them classic. Plumage is, I suppose, the best of them, although I’ve always preferred Cat O’ Nine Tails. I’d never seen Four Flies On Gray Velvet – it’s the least of the three, although it’s stylishly directed. It’s just a really sort of stupid movie with leaden performances, and the least interesting Morricone score of the three films. The transfer is off original elements – it’s fine, nothing more, and the colors are very true. But any chance the DVD had is completely undone by the sound – there is an English dub (since the two leads are English – Michael Brandon and Mimsy Farmer, that’s the one I prefer) which is so garbled-sounding and muddy and a half-tone too slow, pitch-wise, that it’s almost impossible to understand a word anyone says. The Eyetalian, which I would have liked to have listened to, has no English subtitles – a travesty.
Today, I shall get up early, do the long jog, do the Jason Robert Brown/Georgia Stitt questions for a couple of hours, then be on my way to listen to tapes for potential upcoming Kritzerland releases, which I’m looking forward to hearing. Then I’ll come home, finish the questions, and continue reading the long musical so I can give comments.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, do the long jog, do questions, listen to tapes, read a long musical, do questions, eat lightly, and maybe even watch a motion picture on DVD. Today’s topic of discussion: What’s the scariest event you’ve ever had to get out of, the thing you really didn’t want to do? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst we all have a wonderful prosperous and happy Monday.