Well, dear readers, here is what I saw whilst doing the long jog yesterday morning: I was on my way back, running slowly as it was already getting very hot out. At some point a young gal in sweatpants passed me, jogging briskly. Usually when that happens, whoever the brisk jogger is jogs briskly for a few blocks and then is done. This gal was something wholly other. Every fifteen seconds she holds up her arm and looks at her watch. Fifteen seconds later she stops and walks. I pass her and get a half-block ahead. Suddenly she’s briskly jogging again and passes me – she looks at her watch – she stops and walks. And on this went for blocks. What is that all about? That is the stupidest way of jogging I’ve ever seen. And her sweatpants had the word “PINK” written across her ASS. The sweatpants, interestingly, were not PINK. Now, what is this fashion statement where a word such as PINK is written across a piece of clothing worn over the ASS? Why would anyone wear such a garment – unless, that is, they wanted you to LOOK at their ASS. Certainly there can be no other reason. And when you DO look at their ASS and the word PINK, they look at you as if you were a large bag of sheep droppings. Well, let me tell you jogging gal, if you have the word PINK written across your ASS I will damn well look at the word PINK because how can you NOT look at the word PINK. If you don’t want people to stare at your ASS, try wearing, oh, I don’t know, a garment without a word written across your ASS – a novel concept, I know, but an easy one. I wanted to shout out to her, “Pink, my ASS” only it wouldn’t have made sense unless I’d shouted “Pink, YOUR ASS.” I gotta tell you. I hereby say that there should be a moratorium on things written on clothing that adorns your ASS. No more ASS words EVER. Enough is enough. It’s like big-breasted gals who wear tight t-shirts with words written across their boobs – it doesn’t matter what the words are, they may as well state: HEY THERE ARE WORDS WRITTEN ACROSS MY SHIRT SO BE SURE TO READ THEM AND WHILE YOU’RE AT IT TAKE A GANDER AT MY BOOBS! What a world. PINK, MY ASS. End of rant.
She eventually headed north and I was happy not to have to watch her insane way of jogging nor her PINK. Otherwise, it was a somewhat enjoyable jog, PINK notwithstanding. The rest of the day was very nice – lots of casting e-mails and deciding who to bring in, a call from my first choice for Rosie saying she still doesn’t know if she’ll be able to do it – she’s in a production of Avenue Q that’s either going to start rehearsal on June 1 or June 21 – we’re praying it’s the latter, and I do hope these people stop jerking her around and let her know what’s going on. If she can’t do it, I will then hope that my backup choice is still available, but I’m running out of time. I had a nice breakfast meeting (I only ate a poached egg on an English muffin), and then I had a nice lunch at Hamburger Hamlet. I had to do errands and whatnot and then it was off to the editing place to do the commentary track for the Kevin and Sean Show DVD.
Last night, we did a commentary track for the Kevin and Sean Show DVD, Jersey Men. We had a good deal of fun doing it, and it’s quite wild and wooly and also wooly and wild – if you’re a Carol Channing fan, it’s a must-have for reasons that will become clear when you hear it. The boys were amazed at how good the video looks now (it’s been up-rezzed and color-corrected, but they were REALLY amazed at how good the sound is – they’d only heard the terrible sound that we edited to. So, the layback is happening as I write this, and I’ll be picking up a finished DVD in the morning for a final proofing. Then we have to get it “authored” (putting in the menus and all that stuff), and then have the DVD case designed and then have it pressed. After that, I simply came home and sat at my computer like so much fish.
Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I suddenly have the urge to buy a pair of pants with the word PINK written across the ASS because I want people to stare at my ASS with the word PINK written across it. And I shall shake my ASS and be quite provocative.
Today I must do an early long jog, then have an early lunch meeting with the author of the long musical, to give him notes on the latest draft. I really don’t want to go to this early lunch at some Chinese restaurant, and I will try not to have anything but some soup and/or an appetizer. Then I’ll have to hurry home and write the notes for the next Kritzerland release, and also the blurb and everything else we’ll need to get this thing announced next week. I also have to print out a Nudie Musical script and send it and a demo to someone in New York. It’s going to be a long and winding day, but the evening is mine (at least I think the evening is mine).
Tomorrow I have yet another lunch – I’m really growing weary of all these endless lunch meetings and I’m going to start saying no and insisting we meet somewhere other than where food is served. And on Friday, I attend the opening night of Ain’t Misbehavin’ at the Ahmanson Theater.
Let’s put on our pointy party hat and our colored tights and pantaloons, let’s break out the cheese slices and the ham chunks (and the floop), let’s dance the Hora or the Hokey Pokey, for today is the birthday of our very own beloved dear reader Sandra who, according to our haineshisway.com calendar, is eight years of age. So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to our very own beloved dear reader Sandra who, according to our haineshisway.com calendar, is eight years of age. On the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEED TO OUR VERY OWN BELOVED DEAR READER SANDRA WHO, ACCORDING TO OUR HAINESHISWAY.COM CALENDAR, IS EIGHT YEARS OF AGE!!!
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, do the long jog, have a lunch I don’t want to have, do errands and whatnot, write liner notes and blurbs and then finally perhaps have a moment or two of ME time. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Ask BK Day, the day in which you get to ask me or any dear reader any old question you like and we get to give any old answer we like. So, let’s have loads of lovely questions and loads of lovely answers and loads of lovely postings, shall we, and do picture me jogging this morning with the word PINK handwritten across the ASS of my shorts. The Ass Of My Shorts – that’s the title of my next novel.