Well, dear readers, here I am, high in the sky, writing these here notes from an actual aeroplane. Because I am seated in an aisle seat in the bulkhead, I have leg room to spare, no idiot is reclining his seat into my lap, Ye Olde Laptop has room to spare and the seat next to me is mercifully empty. Hence, I am a happy flyer. I can’t even complain about annoying people because there aren’t any on this flight, at least I’m not around them. The flight’s only two-thirds full, too. I got up this morning around four-fifteen and was ready about thirty minutes later. My car arrived a couple of minutes late with profuse apologies, and then it was on to the airport with absolutely no traffic – we arrived at five-thirty, which is exactly when I wanted to get there. The best news about this new car service is that it’s literally half the price of the previous car service I used. That person is now out of business and his replacement also seems to be out of business – both were amateurs.
Once at the airport it was a bit of a slog at the first checkpoint, where they check your ticket and ID. Once through that, it was on to security, which took about fifteen minutes. And then, once I found my gate, it was only about twenty minutes till we boarded. The musical director for the show in New York was also flying on my flight – he’s in the back of the plane. I actually told him to check to see if the seat next to me was going to remain empty, but he never did. I just passed him on my way to the restroom and he’s fast asleep. I think I irked him a little because he asked if he could tag along in my cab to the hotel, since he’s staying nearby. I said sure, as long as he didn’t have any checked bags. Unfortunately, he did check his bag, and I simply don’t want to spend fifteen minutes to a half-hour waiting for him to get his bag, because in that fifteen minutes to a half-hour the traffic will probably be twice as bad.
We took off right on time and, as of now, we’re scheduled to land twenty minutes early – that would be great, and hopefully I can get right into a cab and be on my way to the hotel. They served us an egg and cheese sandwich, which I usually don’t go near but since I was hungry I ate it all up – it was bad, but teeny-tiny. I also had some fruit and a teeny-tiny muffin. My plan is to eat lightly at Joe Allen – perhaps just a shrimp cocktail (no calories, no fat grams) and a small Caesar or one of their small sandwiches. I haven’t decided yet whether to visit the hotel’s gym after Joe Allen – it depends on what I eat. Last time I was in New York, I did visit the gym after Joe Allen, and I rather enjoyed doing the treadmill and then coming back to the room and relaxing. We shall see.
It’s a little peculiar working on the laptop again, when I’m now used to the bigger screen – everything seems so tiny. Last time I flew, I thought I’d read that one was going to be able to get on the Internet on the airplane, but I guess that hasn’t happened yet. I’d be very up for paying a fee to be on the Internet on the plane – it would enable me to not only post on our site, but to do work. For example, if I were on the Internet right this very minute, I could open iDisk and download the new master into iTunes and then burn that onto a CD. At least I think you have to be on the Internet to access iDisk. Maybe I’ll try opening it to see what happens. I’m really anxious to hear the master so I can approve it, but also to see how my new sequencing works.
The woman in the window seat is eating Chex Mix. And they say we don’t provide interesting information here at haineshisway.com. What else can I tell you? Well, I had a Diet Coke. That’s breaking news. I saw some fun items in the Sky Mall catalog. Has anyone here ever used those things that look like glasses that are like watching a 50″ widescreen TV? I wonder if that really works?
I always forget that I could bring a DVD and watch it on the computer. Why do I always forget that? Well, perhaps I’ll check out iDisk and see what’s what. I’ll finish up the notes later this evening from the hotel.
Here is breaking news – can’t get onto iDisk without the Internet. I knew that. I brought an umbrella so I’ll be a fella with an umbrella, but I’m really hoping I don’t need it on this trip. I’d like beautifully beautiful weather. I also hope there’s a Duane Reade near the hotel or a CVS so I can not only get my couple of toiletry items but also a bag of chocolate licorice.
As I’ve been telling everyone for the last ten years, my Infiniti I30 has been the best car I’ve ever owned. Very few problems, still runs well, and still looks great (save for some dings and scratches, mostly on the bumpers). But let me tell you of the worst car I have ever owned – a Peugeot. I don’t remember why I was so enamored of having a Peugeot – I guess I’d seen photographs and liked the look of the car, and I’d probably read some articles. At some point, I bought the thing and the first couple of months it was a very nice car, drove well, and looked really nice. And then it became a nightmare and remained a nightmare until I finally got rid of it and got an Audi, which was also a nightmare and remained a nightmare until I got rid of it. In fact, most cars I’ve had have been a nightmare in one way or the other, and it wasn’t until I got a Mustang convertible that I had any real luck with cars. But back to the Peugeot. This heap of crap would literally just break down at the worst possible moment – usually coming uphill on Laurel Canyon, where there’s no real place to pull over. It would just conk out or die and I’d have to sit there until the AAA would show up and tow me to the dealership. Over and over and over this happened, and the dealership didn’t care one or even two whits. They “fixed” it – over and over and over again, and then the car would conk out or die again, just like that. It was the most disgusting automobile ever, and the fact that I don’t think they sell them in this country anymore speaks volumes. I don’t even know if they make them anywhere anymore, but the French, who may do certain things well, are not a people I would ever trust again, automobile-wise. I should have actually sued them – for a lemon, for mental anguish, for time wasted. Certainly I would have won. Back in those days, they didn’t really have laws to protect us car buyers. The mere mention of Peugeot makes me want to vomit on the ground. And the Audi was its equal, I must say. I gather Audi has gotten its act together, but boy was that a stinker of a car. I also had an iffy Pontiac and an iffy Mercury before finally getting the Mustang. That was a nice car until six other cars plowed into it. It was at that point I decided I didn’t want a convertible. So, I went to the Infiniti dealer because I’d heard what a terrific car it was. I didn’t want their low-line car, the G20, which looked like a Toyota Corolla to me. I wanted the I30, which was their mid-line car (their third model, the Q45 was their top of the line), but I couldn’t afford the I30. But they had the most beautiful M30, a used vehicle and a model they’d discontinued a couple of years prior. It had very low mileage and I just loved the look and feel of it, and the price was right, so I bought that car – I worked it out with the owner of Varese Sarabande that he’d buy the car outright and I’d make payments, sans interest, to him – he just deducted them from my monthly check. In a year, the car was mine completely. It was a wonderful car, always worked perfectly, and I couldn’t have been happier with it.
A couple of years later David Wechter and I sold our screenplay The Faculty and the film was green-lit and we got our money. In fact, for about two months it was raining money from Miramax/Dimension. Every time we thought it was through raining money, it would rain more money. The reasons for that were many. First off, our script deal was a tiered deal tied to the budget of the film – the film was originally going to be made for 10 million bucks and if it had been we got a fee based on that budget (and it was a GOOD fee). If the budget were to go up to 15 million then we got a bigger fee (and it was a GOOD bigger fee). If the budget were to go up to 20 million, then we got our top fee (and it was a GOOD top fee). When Robert Rodriguez was signed as director, the budget immediately went up to 20 million and we got our top fee. We were dancing in the streets, David and I were. Then, they’d neglected a little WGA rule that states the original writers had to be offered the first rewrite – that job had gone directly to Kevin Williamson. So, when our agent pointed that out to them, they had to pay us the rewrite fee – only scale, but scale was pretty good. So, that money came in. Then Miramax called our agent and asked if we’d be willing to forego any WGA arbitration for screenplay credit (we’d retain sole story credit) – for a fee. Since Mr. Williamson’s script had changed every single line of dialogue and most of the characters, I didn’t have a problem with it, depending on the fee, nor did David. Since the structure and the ideas were all ours, they were worried that the WGA would give us credit along with Mr. Williamson and they didn’t want to have to say in their ads, “From the writer of Scream and two guys from the valley.” They made us an offer, which we thought was too low. After all, we’d only be getting residuals for the story, not the screenplay. In the end, they made us an offer that was almost equal to our original screenplay fee (the one at the 10 million budget range). That we gleefully accepted and once again it was raining money. All that was a preamble to the point – I gave my M30 to my then assistant Esther, who desperately needed a car. I then called a car broker someone had recommended to me. I told him I wanted an I30, I told him what color (the car came loaded – no extras needed), and he called me back five minutes later and had gotten me an incredible price, several thousand dollars under invoice. I asked him what it would be out the door, he told me, I told him to do it, and two days later a brand new I30 was driven to my house and I wrote the broker a check and bought the thing outright. Thanks to The Faculty, I could, and it was the best thing I could have done. At that point I had no idea the Varese years would end in just eighteen months or that I’d go into business with people who, let’s just say, I shouldn’t have gone into business with, or that they’d involve me in a lawsuit just because they could. But during all of those dark days, the one thing I never ever had to worry about was my car – no payments, no worries. And the fact is, I will never buy another car any other way – if I can’t afford to write the check, I won’t buy the car. If Kritzerland has a really good year, I might just be able to at some point in the future. And I can tell you it will be an Infiniti.
Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I’m going to try and shut my eyes for a little while before we arrive at Newark. Before We Arrive At Newark – that’s the title of my next novel.
What a pleasant plane ride it was. We arrived twenty minutes early, I got into the city with not one or even two iotas of traffic, checked into the hotel which is very funky and small but nice. The first room they put me in is what they call an “accessible” room, and I didn’t care for that because there was no desk, so they quickly moved me to another room. The rooms are decent-sized and there’s a very nice widescreen TV, so I’m very comfy and happy. The master for Tom Jones was up on iDisk, so I downloaded it into iTunes and listened – it’s really quite delightfully delightful – it’s actually really fun to hear it in film order and then hear it in LP order. After that, I answered some e-mails and then headed over to Joe Allen to meet our very own Miss Juliana Hansen. She has some life decisions she’s making and wanted my advice and advice she got, for whatever it was worth. For video evidence of last night’s meal, see last night’s posts.
After dinner, I jogged back to the hotel, listened to Tom Jones again, and we’re making one tiny little change having to do with a fade out vs. a crossfade – we’re going with the crossfade. I had a nice telephonic chat with Brent Barrett and we set a timeline for his Christmas CD. As always happens in NY, as I left Joe Allen I ran into someone I knew, in this case my pals Murphy Cross and David Galligan.
Let’s put on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, let’s break out the cheese slices and the ham chunks, let’s dance the Hora and the minuet, because today is the birthday of dear reader Danise. So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com cheer to dear reader Danise. On the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO DEAR READER DANISE!!!
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, do the treadmill, try to score tickets for a show tonight, rehearse, and then sup with someone fun. Today’s topic of discussion: What are your all time favorite period motion pictures, say films taking place between the years 1400 and 1900 – and they can include foreign films, as well. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst you also talk about the worst and best car you ever owned. Cars, baby, that’s what I’M talkin’ about.