Well, dear readers, there I was, at the Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood to see the new Harry Potter movie. I hadn’t been to the Grauman’s Chinese in quite a while, and since it’s one of my favorite movie theaters of all time, I was quite excited to see a film there. Now, you must understand that I’ve been seeing movies at the Chinese since the late 1950s. It’s where I saw West Side Story every week for fourteen weeks in a row, sometimes twice in one week, when that film was in its reserved seat engagement. Seeing a film like West Side Story at the Chinese was an event. Everyone dressed nicely, the presentation was amazing, and it was an experience you told your friends about. I saw Irma La Douce there, and sneak previews of Mirage and The Dirty Dozen (and tons of others), I saw Windjammer there, I saw Star Wars there, and on and on. Of course, the wonderful Chinese box-office is no longer there. In fact, it’s a bit of a pain trying to purchase a ticket. Entering the theater was fun, as it always has been. Entering the auditorium, one is greeted with a huge 1700 seat theater (and that’s without a balcony). The Chinese has always had gorgeous curtains and they still have them. When they’d open and reveal that huge screen, it was always breathtaking. Now when you enter, the curtains are open and one sees the huge screen and the breathtaking part is gone. Why is the screen revealed like that? So they can run commercials during the intermission. This is something I will never get used to and it’s literally the reason I stopped going to real movie theaters. I don’t EVER wish to see a running series of ads on a movie screen prior to seeing a movie. Period. The End. Sorry, we are in a cathedral of dreams and we don’t need CRASS. CRASS my ASS. Knock it off and learn a simple word that all movie theater owners used to know – a little word called Showmanship. But now, movie theaters pander to the lowest common denominator, the current audience, who are so busy yakking on their cells and texting and being stupid they don’t even notice what’s happening on the screen pre the movie – so, note to movie theater owners: No one is watching the stupid commercials. About thirty seconds before show time, they closed the curtains. Then they opened them again but, hey, guess what, we’ve already seen the damn screen for forty minutes so why bother. Then we got about ten minutes of coming attractions – with the LIGHTS on. Say what? I don’t care if its coming attractions, a cartoon, a short, or the film – turn the damn lights out. When one has to sit through these grotesquely awful trailers one simply wants to vomit on the ground. THIS is what these movie studio brainiacs are greenlighting – Aliens in the Attic. Some awful-looking Robert Rodriguez Spy Kids type movie. Fame. Yes, for Lord’s sake, Fame. Didn’t I already see that movie about thirty years ago. Yes, this is a NEW Fame and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that this is a crass attempt to cash in on High School Musical (yes, the original Fame came first, but this isn’t the original Fame – this is Fame, The Ripoff of High School Musical). And then came the worst, the nadir of all film trailers and what looks like the nadir of all filmmaking – a noisy, obnoxious, disgusting thing entitled – wait for it – Sherlock Holmes, starring Robert Downey as Holmes, and Jude Law as Watson. And a buffed-up Downey at that, doing inane things and desecrating Mr. Conan Doyle’s creation so that little boys can be amazed at the loud and obnoxious action scenes – yes, action scenes. I do hope this movie tanks in a very big way and then hope that the idiots who gave it the go-ahead all lose their jobs for incompetence. Note to studio executives – the audience doesn’t need this crap anymore. Period. The End. Finally, the actual film began.
I enjoyed a few of the Harry Potter movies, but have found that as the actors age and the story gets darker, the films get less interesting, at least for me. And this new one is less interesting than all that came before – it’s more like a placeholder for the last two films, and frankly I think that making two films out of the last book is not such a hot idea. There is simply a lot going on in the two-and-a-half hours, but none of it is all that involving. It’s Cliff Notes and just goes from one thing to the next without much drama. The actors are all very good, but I’m not fond of this director (same guy who did Goblet of Fire), or the new composer. For a movie that’s supposed to be a huge hit, there were maybe 100 people in the theater on a Sunday afternoon in summer. The sound was very loud. The Chinese now trumpets digital projection – well, I do not like digital projection, I like film. I don’t know if it’s their digital projectors or something else, but the image on view on that huge screen was very lackluster and quite dim. In the days when people and theater owners cared about such things, an image this dim would not have been tolerated. There were standards then and they had to be met. Now there’s someone who pushes “play” and that’s that. It’s a shame, really, for the Chinese is still gorgeous and why they can’t treat it with respect and dignity, like Disney does with the El Capitan, just shows you how pathetic Mann Theaters is and how they do not deserve to operate a theater like the Chinese. Now, theater owners everywhere, say after me: Showmanship. Bring it back, please. Give your audiences some bang for their bucks. Do it. Do it now. The time is night.
After the movie, since I’d just been to the Chinese, I decided to make a theme night of it and dropped by Genghis Cohen for some Chinese food – as always, it was yummilicious. I then came home and watched an episode of Lost – a Hurley episode – I like his character and always enjoy the episodes in which that character is at the forefront. There’s a new cast member who I hope disappears real soon – a ballsy gal, one of the “others,” who talks tough and glares a lot and who really gets on my nerves.
I also finished proofing my book, and as soon as we enter the fixes, off the book will go to the publishers. We’re supposed to work on Wednesday night.
Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below – now that’s showmanship.
Today, miraculously, I have only a few little things to do, and since I worked non-stop over the weekend, I think I’ll take most of the day off and just do things I want to do. Then, starting tomorrow, everything gets busy again.
Wednesday, I have a long work session with Kevin and Linda, then it’s directly on to entering the book fixes. And then I have a few meetings and meals, plus writing the new liner notes and getting the new packaging ready.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, do the long jog, do a few errands and whatnot, and then take the afternoon off. Today’s topic of discussion: What are your favorite Sherlock Holmes tales and your favorite Sherlock Holmes movies? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst we all demand showmanship from movie theaters – if we speak up, they will listen. If we go along with what they serve up, like little Shropshire sheep, it will get worse.