Well, dear readers, I just finished watching a documentary that came with the new William Castle box set from Columbia. The set, of course, is a must have for Castle fan-atics. The documentary is sort of the typical DVD extra, although of good length (almost ninety minutes) but plagued by this very annoying and very usual “illustrative” editing. If someone says “the audience applauded” we have to cut to stock footage of an audience applauding just in case we’re too stupid to be able to visualize an audience applauding. If someone says “the phone rang” we immediately cut to footage of someone answering a phone – footage totally unrelated to Castle or his films. But despite all that what emerges in Emerg-O loud and clear is a portrait of a man who had a dream and a man who lived in a time when you could have a dream and actually have it come true. Castle was a showman. Castle was a genius in the art of movie ballyhoo. Castle’s films may not always have been models of cinema artistry, but they were fun and the way in which he marketed them was even more fun. Castle films informed the childhood of many a baby boomer – we all stood in line and couldn’t wait to see a skeleton on a wire fly over our heads, or have our butt cheeks tingled by The Tingler, or see who, if anyone, would leave during Homicidal’s Fright Break and go stand in the Coward’s Corner, or look through our Illusion-O glasses to see 13 Ghosts (of course we spoofed Mr. Castle’s gimmicks in The Brain From Planet X, which is presented in Feel-O-Rama). The ballyhoo and the films were fun in a way that movies today no longer are. Yes, we have bigger, better, high concept, in your face, loud, bombastic films, some good, some not, but nothing that’s FUN in the way William Castle was FUN. That type of producer/director has gone the way of the dodo bird, I’m afraid, but, for me at least, they are sorely missed. When I was writing Murder At The Hollywood Historical Society, one of my greatest pleasures that made the writing of the book almost more fun than I’ve ever had writing anything was the character of an eighty-two year old old-time producer named Patrick Bronstein. Every time I’d get to a chapter where I knew he would appear, I just laughed and laughed and just when I thought I could laugh no more, I laughed again. Because writing him and that whole type of character was such joy – and the dialogue for him came so easily and if you go back and read my notes from early in the year you will see that I talk a lot about writing a character who was making me laugh so hard that I couldn’t wait till his next appearance. And while the character is not anywhere like Castle, the type, the chutzpah, the larger-than-life gregariousness certainly is. The documentary has reminiscences by Castle’s daughter, and people like Joe Dante (whose film Matinee is inspired by Castle), John Waters, John Badham, and several people who worked with Castle, and their reminiscences are delightful and poignant. Castle finally hit it big as a producer with Rosemary’s Baby, which he’d wanted to direct – but as soon as he met Roman Polanski he knew it had to be Polanski even though he was disappointed he wouldn’t be helming the film. Sadly, he never was able to parlay that into other class A films, and he died in 1977 at the age of 63 – by then he was considered a dinosaur, and he certainly looked older than his 63 years. But he was unique, and he was colorful, and I fear we will never see his like again.
Yesterday was not quite the day off I was hoping for. I got up early and had to answer some e-mails and stuff, and then I went right to the post office to ship the two bigger overseas packages. Because of their new “rule” that took almost twenty-five minutes for two packages because they have to type all the information on the customs form into the computer – unfortunately, this is the second time I’ve gotten a woman who types with one-finger and just takes forever figuring out what to type. Then I got home and had to print out a lot of orders (two CDs in one release), which took almost ninety minutes. I was going to jog and I did start, but I didn’t even go half a mile because I realized that I needed a break, so I turned around and came back home. I then had a volley of e-mails about the long musical, which I read and to which I responded, then I read a bit of the long musical, after which I went to the mail place to find no mail or packages, after which I got a footlong Subway spicy Eyetalian sandwich. I came home and ate it all down, proofed the Brent Barrett CD one final time, made a final decision on a trick edit on The Final Option score, and approved both masters, which are now on their merry way to the pressing plant. After that, I watched the first half of the Castle documentary, then had to deliver a big box o’ CDs to my local dealer. I had a nice telephonic conversation with our very own elmore – basically where I was just pondering why a fifteen-piece band has to sound thin on certain recordings and full on others – it’s all in the mix, of course, but I’m always baffled by it. I always use as an example, the first cast recording of Sondheim’s Bounce, wherein a twenty-five piece orchestra (or something like that) is made to sound like twelve. I know we did several cast albums like the Little Me and Bells Are Ringing revivals but they never sound thin or like only ten players – it’s all in the mix. It was an interesting discussion that I enjoyed. I think Elmore thought I was just bitching because it wasn’t MY album, but no, I wasn’t bitching at all – I just sometimes am baffled by CDs I hear, just as a listener. Most people don’t hear what I hear, so it’s pretty meaningless in the scheme of things – but always interesting as a discussion.
I came home and finished the Castle documentary. I was quite hungry and had nothing but crap in the home environment – Fruity Snacks, Halloween candy, dried cranberries – and I thought that would just be a waste of calories and not that good for me. So, I drove over to Jerry’s Deli and had some bacon and eggs. The bacon slices were half the size they ordinarily are. I asked my waiter if they were serving midget bacon now and he laughed and checked with the kitchen and indeed the supply they got in is smaller than their usual slices. Go know. It hit the spot, I did some work figuring out what we’ve got in the Kritzerland pipeline for the next few months, and then I came home. It was already late, and I got a telephonic call that kept me on the phone for thirty minutes, hence these here notes going up late.
Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because the next section will be brought to you in Emerg-O.
Today, I shall get up, do the long jog, and then meet our very own Mr. Jason Graae for an early lunch. We’ll be discussing a few interesting things. I shall send him all your love. After that, I’m hoping some of these missing packages will arrive, and then I have work to do on the computer, which will probably take up the rest of the afternoon.
Tomorrow is lunch with Lauren Rubin, and then a work session with the lyricist of the long musical. I’m not sure if I’m doing anything tomorrow night. Saturday is pretty open at the moment – I may have a dinner to do in the evening. And Sunday, we’re having a LACCTAA meeting.
Let’s put on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, let’s break out the cheese slices and the ham chunks, let’s dance the Hora and The Brain Tap, for today is the birthday of our very own Zubrick – Mr. Cason Murphy. So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to our very own Zubrick – Mr. Cason Murphy. On the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO OUR VERY OWN ZUBRICK – MR. CASON MURPHY!!!
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, do the long jog, lunch with Jason Graae, do work on the computer, pick up packages (hopefully), and then either go out or stay home – I know not which and I which not know. Today’s topic of discussion: What are your all-time favorite William Castle films? What was the first one you ever saw and did you see any of them in theaters? And who here has seen Shanks, a film I really want to see. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, and let’s fill them with ballyhoo and showmanship.