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October 11, 2009:

THE MISSING SHORTS

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, it is Sunday, a day of rest and by gum and by golly and buy bonds I will rest and that’s all there is to it. Anyone who tries to stop me will be in for a rude awakening. Actually, other than beginning my liner notes, yesterday wasn’t a bad day, relaxation-wise. I got up early and did the long jog. I then toddled over to the Burbank Marriott hotel to attend The Hollywood Show. I’ve been either attending and/or participating in this show for a very long time, starting with the first show. It used to be housed at the charming Beverly Garland Hotel but several years ago they moved to the larger quarters in Burbank. In so doing, they lost most of their dealers – at the Beverly Garland there were four or five dealer-only rooms in addition to the main room where the celebs were. In Burbank, the dealers were in the room with the celebs and since it was a much bigger space, it was easier to find and get to the person you wanted to see. That was the good part, but somehow the show lost its charm in the move. I still enjoyed doing signings there and visiting friends when I wasn’t doing so. Then Ray Courts, whose show it was, sold the thing to new people. And the new people were determined to bring customers back to the show (the last few Courts shows had been sort of disastrous in terms of attendance, despite some very good people. But in so doing they’ve removed whatever last vestiges of charm were left – it’s now like a three-ring circus with way too many celebs spread about in a way that it’s almost impossible to find people. Where once the celebs were confined to the one large main room, now they’re everywhere – private rooms, the lobby is now lined with them and where many of the dealers once were are now more celebs. It’s overwhelming and I simply don’t see how everyone suffers, because who can afford to get the autographs of everyone they’d want? That said, they had a fairly good-sized crowd of customers and some of the celebs’ lines were quite long, while others’ lines were non-existent. Frankly, the last two shows I’ve attended have given me a headache and I’ve left after only an hour. I used to have fun hanging out, talking to friends, and hanging with the dealers I know. Those dealers are no longer at the show, since there are now even fewer dealers due to more celebs. As always, seeing some of these celebs is fun and seeing some of them is shocking. Some people have aged wonderfully and some are barely recognizable. In any case, I lasted exactly an hour and was out of there.
I came home and my pal Nick Redman came by and we went and had a quick bite to eat at Jerry’s Deli – I was quite famished due to the jog. We had a nice chat and then he went on his merry way. I then started my liner notes, then sat on my couch like so much fish and started watching the new Blu and Ray of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, which looks fine. I only got about forty minutes in and then had to get ready for my dinner with those Jones folks, muse Margaret and her ever-lovin’ Richard. As always, it was a fabulously fabulous evening with fabulously fabulous and, more importantly, genuinely genuine friends. We talked of many things, and we had flank steak and salad (Margaret’s homemade salad dressing is the best), potatoes and green beans. For dessert we had fresh strawberries with whipped cream and homemade molasses and ginger cookies, all of which was yummilicious in the extreme.

Whilst I was on my long jog, I’d finally come up with what I think I want book number ten (!) to be. I’ve been pondering this for months and going back and forth and forth and back on any number of ideas. I only knew that I didn’t want book number ten to be another Hofstetter book and I wanted to do something I haven’t done before. And it came to me on my jog. So, I told muse Margaret about the idea and she seemed to love it. We talked it out a bit and while it would be daunting to write for any number of reasons it would also be really fun and it’s something I haven’t done before at all. So, I shall begin making notes this week and hopefully by January 1 I’ll be ready to begin writing. I’ll just be jotting lots and lots of things down, some of which already exist in some written form or other. I suspect that unlike the mysteries, which I seem to be able to write in ten weeks, this one will probably take several months because I think it will be much longer than my usual output, but my plan is to do as I always do – write at least three pages a day, and if I do that I could conceivably be done in three months or so. But, whatever it takes it takes, and as long as I’m finished by June it will still come out in September or October. I think it will be a challenge and fun and I’m looking forward to jumping into it come the first of the New Year. And isn’t it fun to start book ten in 2010.

I then came home and was unable to find my sleeping shorts, ones that I love and have worn for the last four years. They have simply disappeared and I will grill she of the Evil Eye when she’s back in two weeks. I have another pair, but they’re not as comfortable and I want the ones I like. I was worried she somehow ruined them, but I went outside and looked through the trash and didn’t see them – unless she took them off the premises. I’ve been through every drawer and looked everywhere there is to look, so if they’re here somewhere they’re well hidden.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I’m quite tired and I quite need my beauty sleep and I quite hope that I can sleep in these different shorts.

The Mysterious Mystery of The Missing Shorts – that’s the title of my next novel. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like when my favorite shorts go missing. That just irks me and an irked BK is not a pretty thing.

Today, I shall sleep as late as possible and then I shall do the long jog. After that, I shall decide whether to return to The Hollywood Show to see if I can say hey to my old pal Mr. David Cassidy. I suspect he will be mobbed all the livelong day so I don’t know if it’s worth another twenty-six bucks, and I really have no other reason to return. I forgot to mention that I did say hey to my neighbor Earl Holliman, and I did meet Stan Freberg – I bought his autobiography, which he signed to me.

Whether I go or not, I shall do no work today other than maybe write a few more paragraphs of my liner notes. I’ve been asked to look at some potential cuts and structuring changes for the long musical, but I’ve told the author I will not look at them until tomorrow. I’m sticking to my guns. Have you ever stuck to your guns? It’s very uncomfortable. Have you ever had missing shorts? It’s really annoying.

This week shall be quite a busy one. I have meetings, lunches, a casting session, several things to attend, including a show at the Gardenia on Friday night and seeing Guys and Dolls with our very own Alet Taylor and Barry Pearl on Saturday night.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, do the long jog, maybe attend The Hollywood Show, relax and smell the coffee and the roses and the lime rickey, eat something light and amusing, and write some more liner notes. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s free-for-all day, the day in which you dear readers get to make with the topics and we all get to post about them. So, let’s have loads of lovely topics and loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I continue to be baffled and mystified by The Missing Shorts.

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