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July 3, 2010:

BERSERK

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, a few moment ago I went – BERSERK. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, I, BK, went BERSERK, like Joan Crawford in the movie of the same name. The cause of my BERSERKNESS was my Epson Artisan 800 printer. Let me just say that again so it shows up in all the search engines – my Epson Artisan 800 printer. This was a top of the line printer, very nicely designed and most of the time it works fine. However, for the last six to eight months, whenever it runs out of paper and I put new paper in and then push resume so it can continue printing, it won’t load the paper correctly – this goes on and on until I go – BERSERK. I then ultimately move things around and fake it out and then it will finally print. But this evening it took around fifteen tries and by that time I’d gone BERSERK and was ready to hurl the Epson Artisan 800 on the floor and stomp it into a million little printer bits. While I was going BERSERK, I went to Google and searched Epson Artisan 800 printer PROBLEMS – and boy did I get an eyeful. They basically all said that if you want to maintain your sanity that you should not buy this printer. They recommended a similar Canon printer, and I may go out and buy that this weekend because I cannot take one more minute of the insanity. Apparently the Epson Artisan 800 printer’s software is “buggy” and the feeding mechanism is cheap and had I but known that at the beginning I would have purchased something else. Prior to going BERSERK, I had quite an okay day. As I’d mentioned, I had a lot of helper candidates to meet at the Studio Café, starting at 10:45. So, imagine my surprise when the phone rang at 10:55, waking me up. Yes, you heard that right – I slept right through the first appointment time. I NEVER do that – I’m never late for anything and I was appalled. I guess I’ve just been staying up too damn late every night. In any case, I was at the Studio Café ten minutes later, meeting the first candidate. Of the eight who were supposed to show, three cancelled. I ended up really liking three very different helpers. In the end, I went with the one who was not going to be out looking for other jobs and who was not in any facet of the show business. She’s just doing this for some extra cash. She’s got a young daughter, but her mother and grandmother live five minutes from her and will always watch the child. She seems very computer savvy and assures me she can get the madness of hand-addressing out of the way – she’ll get everything in the computer and make it much easier. I don’t know how any of that works, but she’ll do it, show me, and hopefully that will make Kritzerland work much smoother. So, she begins this coming Tuesday, when we ship out the Stu Phillips CDs, although it’s going to be a bit of a mess on Tuesday because I realized when I got home yesterday that I don’t have enough boxes to address, and that’s solely because I’ve had close to 100 extra Promises, Promises orders in the last two days, and they used up my surplus boxes. In fact, I’m not going to ship out any more Promises orders that come in starting today until Tuesday afternoon. Since it’s a holiday weekend they wouldn’t get anywhere anyway. So, I’ll use all the boxes I have to address the Stu orders and I’ll probably be close to what I need – the worst case scenario is that I’ll get everything packaged and then address whatever’s left, as the new boxes should be at the mail place by noon.

I finally got home around three, then had to take some clothes to the dry cleaners, and take a bunch of packages to the mail place, where I picked up two envelopes and one package. I was then able to print out a bunch of new orders, and to finally read the wonderful comments that have been posted at various and sundried places about our new Promises CD. I couldn’t be more pleased with the reaction. After that, I made some low-cal, low-fat hot dogs for dinner and finally sat on my couch like so much fish.

Last night, I watched quite a bad motion picture on the DVR entitled Dead of Winter. It’s really hard to believe that this piece of cheese was directed by the great Arthur Penn, but then I read that he replaced the original director, said original director also being the writer of the film. And the writing is the problem. It’s just dreadful and stupid beyond repair. The film seems to have been “inspired by” or is an unofficial remake of the wonderful Joseph H. Lewis film, My Name is Julia Ross. One character in Dead of Winter is called Julie Rose, and the lead character played by Jan Rubes is called Joseph Lewis. Mary Steenburgen can’t do anything with her poorly written character, and Roddy McDowell has been made to play so over the top that it’s embarrassing. In fact, the only thing that works about the film at all is its excellent musical score by Richard Einhorn – that is top-notch. The hi-def transfer looks like it was just a regular transfer turned into hi-def – in other words, it didn’t look too good.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because the sister of she of the Evil Eye will be here all too soon and I need to not oversleep again or I shall simply go – BERSERK!

Today, I shall leave in the morning and ship yet another fifteen packages, including one larger dealer order (Footlight Records). I shall then do some errands and whatnot and also some whatnot and errands, after which I have a couple of business things to attend to. Then, I’ll pay a little visit to Mystery and Imagination Books, just to say hello and see how Malcolm and Christine, the owners, are doing. After that, I come home, finish liner notes, blurb and everything else having to do with the release we’re announcing on Monday morning, have some dinner, and then I’m relaxing and not talkin’ to nobody no how.

Tomorrow, I do nothing but relax until the 4th of July partay at Tony Slide and Bob Gitt’s home environment. That’s always a fun little do and I’m looking forward to it.

On Monday, I announce our new title, then have a lunch with dear reader Jeanne, then do nothing but relax and watch motion pictures on Blu and Ray and perhaps another format such as DVD.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, do some shipping, do some errands and whatnot, attend to some business, finish liner notes and have some dinner. Today’s topic of discussion: Thrillers – we know which ones are the classics – but which are the stupidest thrillers you’ve ever seen – the ones that simply defy logic, are filled with plot holes like Swiss cheese, and which are just plain awfully awful. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland and try to not go – BERSERK.

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