Well, dear readers, I have some observations to make. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, I, BK, have some observations to make. Here are some of them. Yesterday, I moseyed on over to the Wood of Holly to see Young Frankenstein, about which more later. Naturally, I got there ninety minutes early, which led to my first observation, to wit: When did the entire city of Los Angeles and environs completely subvert the parking meter situation, changing what used to be a six o’clock cut-off time to eight o’clock and thereby making it almost impossible to go anywhere? What sickening, stupid idiot made THAT decision and how can we get whoever it is fired? Or how can we launch a class action lawsuit about it? Or, did the population of LA vote for such a thing? And, to top it off, now Sundays are pay for parking days, too – also until eight. What does that mean exactly? It means that everyone going to the six-thirty show of Young Frankenstein on a Sunday pays ten bucks to park. Period. No other choices unless you arrive precisely at six, find a meter, and put three bucks into it. Talk about a way to kill nightlife everywhere in LA. Perfect. Bravo to whatever idiot did it. So, I paid my ten bucks to park, got my ticket, and then did some walking around the Wood of Holly. I hadn’t been to the Pantages since they’d finished erecting what is truly a hideous and heinous and unbelievably large W Hotel. What an eyesore. Where once were charming mom and pop stores and a half-block long wonderful drug store with lunch counter, now we’ve got the W and a subway entrance in the middle of it. And hanging out at the subway entrance we have all manner of low-life folks laying on the ground, young barely teen girls parading around in their micro-bikinis, boys with their jeans or shorts pulled down to their genitals – I mean, I just wanted to vomit on the ground. As I stood on the corner of Hollywood and Vine and looked toward what used to be Hody’s and any number of other restaurants over the years, instead of that distinctive building what did my eyes spy? A parking lot. Yes, a parking lot on the northwest corner of Hollywood and Vine. Brilliant. And just up the street next to what used to be the El Capitan Theater’s parking lot is now a completely gross red building that houses oh so trendy apartments. Just what Hollywood needs, another eye sore. I then walked west. In the first block west of Vine, one is reminded of what 42nd Street used to look like in the seventies. Tattoo parlors, drug paraphernalia, dingy stores, former movie theaters – all of it, disgusting. I then walked past Cahuenga where I saw what used to be the grand and glorious Warner Cinerama Theater and then the Pacific’s. The building is the same, only now it houses some church. Why some studio did not do what Disney did to the Paramount (turning it back to its original glory days when it was the El Capitan), and take this gorgeous theater and bring it back to its splendor just speaks of how specious these studios are today, and what clucks run them. As I walked back to the theater, I just remembered how wonderful Hollywood was when I was a teen. No, it wasn’t as glamorous as the 1930s or 1940s, but it still had great shops, nice restaurants and some allure. Of course, then the motorcycles and the hippies appropriated the street and it began going to hell. In the 1970s, one could see what was coming and there was nothing to be done about it, sadly. Now we’ve got twin monstrosities at either end of the boulevard – the W, and Hollywood + Highland. And on my walk I observed, I don’t know, ten faceless nightclubs for idiots – trendy and annoying, no entrances on the boulevard – you enter from the alley behind, and just ruining the feel and style of the street. I hope each and every one of them go out of business and lose their shirts. And they will – just as soon as all the little kiddies move on to the next trendy playground.
I then entered the Pantages, one of the most beautiful movie palaces ever – now a legit theater that has some of the worst acoustics in the world for live shows. We saw little children with their folks – a rather expensive evening out for a family of six. And every member of the family staring at their cell phones. Standing there, staring at their cell phones, reading their texts, sending texts – it’s like no one can actually communicate with another person, even one standing next to them. I took my seat. Next to me was a gentleman probably close to my age. He could not take his eyes off his cell phone. I wanted to grab him by the shirt and ask him what the HELL he did before cell phones? I’ll bet he got along just fine. Same with the elderly woman in front of me – TEXTING. The art of conversation has turned into the art of typing on a tiny keyboard. That’s how people converse today.
Then the show started. And I observed that the sound was as loud as the loudest rock concert. Note to sound designers – STOP IT. Theater is theater, not a rock concert. The sound gave me a headache after ten minutes. It made the show seem relentless and forced and overbearing. You may as well just pre-record the damn band because you ONLY hear it coming out of the humungous speakers on the left and right of the stage, which sit there like a second proscenium. One could also not understand a single word of the opening number. As to the show – well, it’s the movie onstage. The movie laughs get good reaction and sometimes applause, which I find odd. The new jokes are not as good as the old jokes. The songs merely add forty-five minutes to the 106-minute film. None of them really do anything – and, in fact, the only number that truly lands is – Puttin’ On The Ritz from the film. A fun guessing game is to name the songs that Brooks used as models. It’s quite easy. The cast was fine and my only problems had to do with the memories of the film’s original players, who were all iconic in their roles. The only really unsuccessful interpretation was of the Madeline Kahn character – first of all, Kahn was subtle and brilliant. The actress in the tour is, I’m sure, a fine actress, but here she’s being asked to impersonate her predecessor, Megan Mullally, with that cutesy voice and whatever one thinks of Miss Mullally, she is not Madeline Kahn and the role simply doesn’t work in the show. Shuler Hensley is terrific as the monster, and Brad Oscar is funny as Kemp and the Hermit. The sets are definitely scaled down from Broadway (no projections in Roll in the Hay), and I’m told they will be scaled down even further as the show continues on from here with a mostly new company. So, not as good as The Producers – with that show, they found a fresh way to look at that material. With this show, they didn’t.
I also observed how fashionable it is to dress unfashionably when one goes to the theater. And how hooting and hollering because that’s what they hear on American Idol has reached epic proportions. It’s so annoying. And it’s not just the kiddies, it’s the adults, too – well, not THIS adult. And then there’s this phenomenon where the audience claps in rhythm at the curtain call, thereby denying performers actual applause. I just loathe it.
And those were some of my observations of last night. End of observational rant.
There rest of yesterday was perfectly pleasant. I had a great night’s sleep, which I really needed, I posted an “event” on Facebook for the Kritzerland at the Gardenia show – that proved very difficult for the likes of me, but I guess it’s up there and viewable. I ran a two-mile jog, ate a sandwich and fries, and answered e-mails. When I returned from the show, I sautéed the remaining two chicken cutlets, mushrooms, and onions. That was tasty and not too filling. And I watched the new episode of Mad Men. I’m sorry, but this show has never really achieved greatness, if you ask me. It just goes along, and last night’s episode went back to a storyline that just really doesn’t interest me. I like the stuff at the agency and those are the characters I’m sort of interested in. And just who do you like, character-wise? They’re all, in one way or another, really annoying. Some are annoying in an interesting way and some are just annoying. The previous episodes this season have been fine, but I hope they have some interesting things planned, or I’m afraid I’ll have to give up on the show – it just isn’t really going anywhere.
Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I have to be up at six to announce the new Kritzerland release.
Wow, that was a long first section. So, I’ll keep the second section brief and to the point. Today, the helper will be here at ten – I hope to be printing out lots of orders, and we have to ship out about ten or twelve packages, and then we have to go do an important errand. Then I have to burn a bunch of CDRs to get to the singers who are doing our first Gardenia show, and I have to Xerox the sheet music. I then have to overnight Pam Myers her songs so she can learn them, since she won’t be coming in until the day before the show. Her three numbers are pretty easy, though.
Tomorrow, I have a meeting with Shelly Markham to go over all the songs and give him the music. He even gets to do a number, which is fun. Wednesday I have a lunch meeting and I’m trying to keep the end of the week pretty open. We shall see.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, announce a CD, ship packages, do an important errand, jog, eat, and relax. Today’s topic of discussion: Since I made my observations, why don’t you make yours – what are your observations on what is happening in your city and in general? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, as we all offer our keen observations on the human condition.