Well, dear readers, we’re truly having a Winter Wonderland here in the City of Studio and environs. It’s been raining cats and dogs. Why is it always raining cats and dogs? Don’t the cats and dogs get tired of always being associated with heavy rainfall? Why can’t it by aardvarks and ocelots? Why can’t it be camels and gerbils? Why can’t it be lions and tigers? And bears? Oh, my. But noooo, it’s always the fershluganah cats and dogs. And who decreed it should be cats and dogs in the first or even the second place? Well, here is what is known: The phrase “It’s raining cats and dogs” and its origin is unknown. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, that stupid phrase just plopped down into the human consciousness one fine day and no one knows who said it first or how it came into being. And isn’t THAT a fine kettle of what is it, fish? But I believe I know the story of the saying, passed down to me by Aunt Yetta. According to Aunt Yetta, in olden times a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking – wait, wrong story. In any case, we believe that back in the 1600s, when men were men and smelled bad, one day there was a heavy rainfall. And a blacksmith named Mortimer Blacksmith was standing in a field shoeing a horse named Petunia when it began to rain heavily. In one of those odd but compelling coincidences, Mortimer’s wife Calumny was on the roof of a hut, fiddling, which is something she liked to do. The family dog and cat were up there with her and got to fighting and Calumny got so angry with them she picked them both up by the tails and flung them into the air. As fate would have it, they both came down on blacksmith Mortimer Blacksmith’s head. This he could not understand and he looked up to the roof, shook his head in bewilderment, and said to his wife Calumny, “You’re not going to believe this, you great fiddling twit, it’s raining cats and dogs.” And then next thing you know, everyone was saying it and it stuck and it’s been said through the ages as if it were a metaphor for something, but, of course, it is not a metaphor or any other kind of phor – it was just something Mortimer Blacksmith blurted out because a cat and dog had come hurtling through the sky in the rain and landed on his head. And there you have the true story of “It’s Raining Cats and Dogs.” Interestingly, there is a phenomenon known as raining animals, a rare meteorological phenomenon that may or may not have basis in fact, since no one seems to have witnessed the phenomenon, but still it is a phenomenon. According to those in the know, the animals most likely to fall from the sky in a rainfall are fish, frogs, and birds, in that order. I especially like “in that order.” I mean, wouldn’t it be a kick in the pants to this phenomenon if it happened in a different order, say birds, fish, and frogs?” Wouldn’t that just throw a wet blanket on the phenomenon and those in the know? And let’s not even get into the derivation of “wet blanket.” At this point, it might be a good idea to ask a simple question – what the HELL am I talking about? Have I really just gone on for an entire page about “it’s raining cats and dogs” and “raining animals?” What’s next, it’s raining men? Where was I? I know there was a point in here somewhere. Oh, yes, it’s like a Winter Wonderland here thanks to the fact that it’s been raining cats and dogs. It was raining so hard yesterday, that I actually got very nervous whilst driving my motor car on the freeway. The freeway gets very slick in even the lightest rain, but this was really coming down and people in this city lose their sanity in any sort of rainfall. It’s a little unnerving to drive past someone in the pouring rain on the freeway and seeing them blabbing on their cell phone. Or texting, both of which I saw. I finally got off the freeway because I could barely see in front of me. Otherwise, I had quite a nice day, save for the part where I paid an obscene number of Kritzerland bills – but the good news is that at least I could pay them. It was a LOT of money. It’s always shocking to write out such checks, but such is the nature of things. In any case, I got them all paid, and posted them, along with a few packages.
After that, I ate some lunch – a turkey sandwich and onion rings. Then I did some errands and whatnot, and picked up a couple of packages. Then I came home and continued the organization of things, moving piles o’ stuff out to the garage shelves. I got the den done, and then did all the assorted piles o’ stuff from various and sundried places. I must say, I found some interesting things in those piles, and now the home environment is quite clean and tidy. I also did the rest of my shopping at Gelson’s and got everything I need for the Do, so I am now completely organized and ready for the Do. This is a very good thing. Then I finally sat on my couch like so much fish.
Last night, I watched a motion picture entitled Street Angel, a silent motion picture featuring no sound (except music), directed by Frank Borzage, and starring Charles Farrell and Janet Gaynor (they did twelve films together). While not as good or perfect as Seventh Heaven, Street Angel is still a charmer – old-fashioned melodrama and romance winning the day, and I have to tell you, Miss Gaynor is so completely adorable and winning, and a great screen actress. You sit there watching her and all you can think of is Billy Wilder’s great line for Norma Desmond – “We had faces then.” One thinks of today’s crop of whispering, faceless “actors” and you know that the Wilder line is more prescient today than ever. As with Seventh Heaven, the source material is not optimal but its very watchable. The Blu and Ray features the original score that played with the film. And I have to tell you, if you only know Charles Farrell from his turn as Vern Albright on My Little Margie, well, you’re in for a bit of a shock at how handsome and terrific he was as a leading man.
After the movie, I had a very long telephonic conversation with a very nice person, and that was really fun. Then I did a little work on the computer and that was my day and that was my night.
Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because it is late and I must get my beauty sleep whilst we continue to have our Winter Wonderland.
Today, I have no plans. There are two more little kitchen piles to sort through and move, and then I’m all done with the cleaning and organizing. I also hope to pick up a couple of things from the framers late in the afternoon, and then hopefully Mr. Grant Geissman will be coming over to hang pictures on the wall, after which we may grab a bite to eat. But basically it’s a day of rest.
Tomorrow, of course, I will be cooking the famous spaghetti sauce, I shall be making the famous tuna pasta salad, I will be putting out the plates and forks and candles and decorations and making everything very festively festive. And at six, we begin our 22nd Annual Kimmel Christmas Do. Of course, the partay also takes place online so be there or be round. I’ll have reports all the livelong evening, and photographs WILL be taken.
Christmas Day I will probably attend the partay at Cissy Wechter’s house, which is what I normally do on Christmas Day. After that, I know not.
Let’s all put on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, let’s all break out the cheese slices and the ham chunks, let’s all dance the Hora or the Swim, because today is the birthday of the VERY errant and truant but beloved dear reader William F. Orr. So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to the VERY errant and truant but beloved dear reader William F. Orr. On the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO THE VERY ERRANT AND TRUANT BUT BELOVED DEAR READER WILLIAM F. ORR!!! And one to my very own brother, too.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, enjoy my day, I must attend to the last two kitchen piles, I must perhaps pick up a package, I must hopefully pick up stuff from the framers, and I must hopefully have a visit from Mr. Grant Geissman to hang the stuff. Today’s topic of discussion: We continue our best-of lists – what were your favorite theater experiences in 2010 – plays, musicals, and performances? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland in our Winter Wonderland.