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October 22, 2011:

DAME AGATHA

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, it is late and she of the Evil Eye will be here all too soon, so I must write these here notes in a hurry so I can get some beauty sleep. Before I go any further, I must tell you I saw a play last evening entitled And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie. I don’t really need to talk about the production, which was not so good (it was fun to see Doug Haverty act though), but it just reminded me of how great Dame Agatha was and how brilliant her plotting was (and still is). There was really no one like her. She took the rules of mystery and detective fiction and stood them on their tired ear – her The Murder Of Roger Ackroyd changed everything – and it’s still brilliant to this day, despite having been ripped off about a million times by much lesser talents. But what she did in that book was, at the time, a first and totally unique – in one fell swoop she basically announced to the world “there are no more rules.” In the mid-1990s I really went on an Agatha Christie kick and must have read about fifty of her books in a six month period – even the ones that weren’t up to her highest standard were so much fun to read that it didn’t matter – they were just completely enjoyable and, in the best of them, breathtaking. I remember especially being taken by Sparkling Cyanide, And Then There Were None (originally titled something that is never used now – Ten Little Insert N word here), Murder On The Orient Express, Murder at the Vicarage, and on and on. I devoured them, usually in one sitting. The play of And Then There Were None may seem a little creaky when viewed today, but I truly feel that with a great production and great actors this thing could be a hit on Broadway. They just don’t know how to write this kind of thing anymore. I know that many would have scoffed at a revival of the hoary chestnut An Inspector Calls, but then someone took a chance, and director Stephen Daldry did such a brilliant job with it that it was a hit – in London and then on Broadway. If you’ve never read any Agatha Christie, I cannot recommend highly enough that you do so immediately. I’d start right with The Murder Of Roger Ackroyd.

Prior to my evening with Miss Christie, I’d had a good night’s sleep. It was very gray out, so I held off doing the four-mile jog until noon. I got an e-mail from Melody’s mom saying she needed a one-minute comic monologue to audition with and that they couldn’t find anything – she asked if I knew of one, but during the jog I couldn’t think of anything that a thirteen year old could do. I’m sure there must be something, but it was not coming to me. So, whilst jogging I got an idea and played with it while I ran. By the time I got home I had it pretty firmly in hand, sat down and wrote it in about ten minutes – an original one-minute monologue specifically for a thirteen-year-old and more specifically for Melody’s rhythms. I sent it to her mom without saying where I’d found it. They thought it was perfect and asked what it was from – only then did I tell them I’d written it for her. It was fun to be able to do it. After that, I did some errands and whatnot, and then picked up one package and no important envelope, although there were a couple of other envelopes that were fun. Then I came back home and watched the first fifteen minutes of the new Blu and Ray of West Side Story. Based on screen caps (never a good idea), people have been drooling over what they’re seeing. I was expecting a miracle of a transfer but I knew I was in trouble from the first second – when the whistles, which were all over the place in the roadshow showings, were basically all centered on this Blu and Ray. I’m going to listen again just in case I wasn’t hearing it well, but that’s sure what it seemed like – the original whistles were hard-panned left and right in the rear channels and at the Chinese Theater in Hollywood, actually sounded like someone was whistling in the theater.

The next problem occurred two thirds of the way through the overture, which plays against Saul Bass’s line drawing of Manhattan. On the DVD at that point, the color went all wonky for about ten seconds – completely weird and nothing like what it should have been. I couldn’t wait to see that section all fixed up and back to its original glory – only instead what I got was the screen fading to black for those ten seconds and then fading back into the now blue-colored backing of the line drawing and the pull back to reveal the title. Well, sorry, boys, but that’s a first-class disaster for anyone who knows and appreciates that glorious sequence. Saul Bass would commit homicide if he saw what they did. Then it goes to the astonishing aerial shots of New York, which are indeed very sharp, but within seconds we begin to get a lot of shimmering and what the pundits call moirĂ© patterns on the buildings below – I’m not talking about minor stuff here – again, I’m going to watch it once more just to make sure, but it was overt and not pretty and, more importantly, should not be in evidence at all from a large format element. Once it cut down to the Jets things were very sharp with good color, but the shimmering continued to be a problem anytime there was a chain link fence. It’s completely weird. I discussed it over the phone with an expert, who had already heard that the people raving were not understanding what they were seeing – he’d already heard about some of these problems and he’s not happy about it. He’s waiting to see his copy, and then, if he feels as I do, he will be writing about it. I’ll be watching the rest of the disc today. It’s certainly 1000% sharper than the almost out of focus DVD, but these early problems, especially the problem in the overture are VERY worrisome. We’ve already ascertained where the transfer was done, and that could be a big part of the problem.

Prior to the show, I had some pizza at Dino’s – most yummilicious – I only had three slices, so that wasn’t too bad. Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I must hie myself to the bedroom environment to get some beauty sleep before she of the Evil Eye arrives.

Today, I shall do the four-mile jog first thing in the morning. Then I shall continue to pay a number of Kritzerland bills, after which I’ll eat something, hopefully pick up a package and an important envelope, and then prep everything for our early Monday Kritzerland announcement.

Tomorrow, I have a lot of script work to do for the LACC show – in fact, that will probably take up the entire day, and I also have to write the contextual commentary for the Gardenia show – really want to get that out of the way. The rest of the week will be rehearsals, meetings, meals, a visit to the editing room (editor says things are cutting together really well), and lots o’ other stuff.

Let’s all put on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, let’s all break out the cheese slices and the ham chunks, let’s all dance the Hora or the Texas Two-Step because today is the birthday of the extremely errant and truant dear reader Cason. So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to the extremely errant and truant dear reader Cason. On the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO THE EXTREMELY ERRANT AND TRUANT DEAR READER CASON!!!

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, do the four-mile jog, I must finish listening to and approve our new master, I must prep the release announcement, I must hopefully pick up a package and an important envelope, I must eat, and I must relax. Today’s topic of discussion: What are your favorite Agatha Christie novels, plays, and movies? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland where I shall dream mysterious, neatly-plotted dreams.

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