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December 30, 2011:

MAGIC

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, it is the final Friday in the year 2011. One more day to go and then we’re in a little year I like to call 2012, but more about that in tomorrow’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve notes. For now can I just mention the word magic? Well, I guess I can since I just did. Magic. I was pondering magic yesterday and now I shall share the pondering with you dear readers because frankly I feel you can use a good dose of pondering right now. I was pondering the motion picture industry and the motion pictures themselves. Ever since I was a wee sprig of a twig of a tad of a lad of a youth I have been in love with the motion pictures. Since the very beginning at a very early age, they were simply – magic. I could sit in a darkened theater and be taken away to lands I didn’t know, meet characters who were funny and mysterious and weird and evil and heroic. I could see beautiful women and handsome men. I could be swept away in emotion thanks to the coalescing of image and music and story and performances. The studios trafficked in magic – the movies were one big magic act and the joy was not knowing how the magic was done.

And then the studios shot themselves in the foot big time. With the advent first of laserdisc and then of DVD and now of Blu and Ray, the studios began giving film fans behind the scenes special features. We got deleted scenes, we got to see how the magic was created, we got to hear the directors pontificate and see them in meetings and see how each aspect of the film came together. And you know what? It ruined the magic. Now every person in the world thinks they know everything about moviemaking. They analyze every aspect of what they’re watching and not in a good way. In fact they do everything but one thing – get swept away in the magic. And even on the odd occasions when a film is so well made that they do get swept away, they just plop in those special features and see how the magic was created and then – next time they watch that very same film – no magic. Why do we suppose that magicians guard their secrets so strongly? Because once the secret is revealed there is no more – magic. I’ll give you a perfect example of this, and it’s one of the only times I’ve been guilty of watching any special feature, most of which I avoid like the plague.

I saw The Social Network at a screening. I thought it was a really excellent film with excellent direction and performances. When the Blu and Ray came I got it, too, and liked it just as much the second time. And then I watched the making of documentary – I got to see just how obnoxious the director was and how the writer behaved and how the actors were and how the director would do ninety takes of something and by the end of that making of documentary I never wanted to see The Social Network again and I never really wanted to see another David Fincher movie. I became The Man Who Knew Too Much and the magic of that film was gone forever. Recently I truly enjoyed Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes. The box listed all manner of special features that promised a look at how every sequence was created – and I refused to go anywhere near it. I don’t want to know about motion capture and green screens and any of it. I want to watch the damn movie and be transported and I do not want that experience ruined forever by having the magic revealed. Why anyone would is an enigma to me.

I remember when Phantom Of The Opera opened, first in London and then in New York, and everyone wanted to know how certain effects were done. In the show, they were wonderful moments. Once the secrets were revealed those moment no longer held any allure. Sadly, we live in a world filled with armchair experts and thanks to the moviemakers’ wanting to share all their stuff, the magic of the movies has gone down the drain.

The funny thing is that even after I began working in film and television and even after I’d directed Nudie and The Creature and other stuff, I could still be enthralled by the magic of the movies. ET was magical – but when you see the special features on the DVD and they show you the puppet and how it all was done, well, bye bye magic and emotional power. Sleight of hand is sleight of hand – I don’t want to know the trick. I want to be delighted by it and bowled over by it. I would love to see no special features on Blu and Ray discs – or at least none that reveal everything about how the movie was made. Let the magic be the magic, idiot filmmakers. Because once the tricks are revealed everyone will feel just as smart as you and feel they can do it better than you. They will say, “Oh, THAT’S it? That’s how they did that? How lame.” Let your movie speak for itself and let that be the end of it. I don’t want after-the-fact director’s cuts, I don’t want deleted scenes or alternate endings that show me that no one knew what they were doing in the first place – just the movie, thank you very much. And the magic.

Well, I will not reveal how I wrote that whole diatribe. I will reveal none of the tricks. Interestingly, when I wrote Benjamin Kritzer and then the subsequent two Kritzer books, I got asked all the time how much was fact and how much was fiction. And initially I told a few people, especially with the first book, what was fiction. And when I told them I watched their faces fall. I’d just ruined the magic, even though they’d asked me to do so. So, after two times of doing it, I just shut up and said that most of it was real, which is the truth. I did not need to point out the handful of things I had to do to tell the story well, or to make the story work the way I needed it to. That’s my business and, for better or worse, my magic.

Yesterday, on the other hand, was a pretty nice day, all things considered and believe me I considered all things. I got my eight hours of sleep, did some work on the computer, talked to the senior tech guy about my little problems with the Mail program. He had one suggestion that we did, but it did not alleviate the problem. So, I began nuking a lot of old and unnecessary e-mails – over three thousand in total, and I’m betting that now that those are gone that things will run more smoothly. I’ve also been told that the AOL servers working with the Mail program are notorious for malfunctioning. After that, I did some errands and whatnot, paid a visit to Malcolm and Christine at Mystery and Imagination Books, picked up one package and then came home. I worked on the song I’d begun for episode four of season two’s Outside The Box – it’s really fun and now I have one more song to go for that episode, after which I’ll write the set-up scene. Then I locked down what episode five will be and came up with a pretty funny idea for a musical number. That one I already know who I want to cast, so that’s good.

Then it was time to deliver the old computer to the new owner. First we supped at the Coral CafĂ©, where I had a chicken salad sandwich, a cup of soup, and a few onion rings. Then I set up the new owner’s old computer, it snapped to life, we got some of the new owner’s stuff on it, and the new owner is rather in heaven over the old computer, which is working beautifully. Then I came home, but it was too late to watch anything. Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I really must get a good night’s beauty sleep.

Today, I shall hopefully arise after a good night’s beauty sleep. I’ll do the four-mile jog, I will eat very lightly, I will hopefully pick up some packages and an important envelope, and that is it. Other than doing a little writing, I shall only relax and watch motion pictures and no special features.

Tomorrow is, of course, the last day of 2011 and I shall be spending the day relaxing and doing some more writing. Then we shall have our Annual New Year’s Rockin’ Eve bash right here at haineshisway.com – it’s the best and most fun and safest bash to attend and I do hope all you dear readers will be here to watch various and sundried balls dropping. I shall do my usual New Year’s Eve routine – attend our bash, eat something light but fun, and then spend the forty minutes or so before midnight in contemplation – thinking about the things I was happy with in 2011, things I need to work on in 2012, and how I can be a better and calmer and nicer and more patient person and how I can be filled with even more positivity than I am and I am filled with plenty of positivity. It makes the world a better and brighter place and it’s what I strive for always. Then at midnight some balls will drop, I’m here to tell you THAT. The first day of the New Year will be spent beginning my new book, attending a New Year’s Day partay at Barry Pearl and his ever-lovin’ Cindy’s home environment, and them more writing on the new book. I’d love to get ten pages done, just because it will be a good, strong start and will propel me forward and have me in the writing mode. However, I do know that I’m very careful when starting a new book and go a little more slowly just till I get the tone and the vibe and the feel of the book in my head and fingers.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, do the four-mile jog, eat very lightly, hopefully pick up some packages and an important envelope, relax, and watch some motion pictures. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Friday – what is currently in your CD player, and your DVD/video player? I’ll start – CD, nothing. DVD, more Maigret movies. Blu and Ray, maybe Kind Hearts and Coronets. Your turn. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, where I shall dream of magic an no secrets revealed.

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