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August 11, 2012:

DON’T EVEN ASK

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, don’t even ask. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, don’t even ask. First of all, I must write these here notes in a hurry for she of the Evil Eye will be here all too soon. Second of all, don’t even ask. I have no answer, should you deem it necessary to ask even after I’ve said don’t even ask. The reason I am saying don’t even ask is because whatever the HELL went on yesterday I can’t remember any of it. It was just one of those days when I just did stuff and did stuff and suddenly it was evening. I hate when that happens. I do remember getting up around eight-thirty. I vaguely remember answering e-mails. Then the next thing I knew I was having some pasta in a light creamy tomato sauce. What happened prior to that I have no idea. I think I chose a couple of songs for the Kritzerland show, and I do know I sent a couple of song choices to Miss Lea Thompson, and one song to Dennis Kyle that I think he will love doing. I vaguely remember loading the song choices I’m sure about into iTunes.

After the pasta eating, I have a memory of going to the mail place and picking up no packages (even though one should have been there) and an important envelope. I do believe I then came home, and then walked to the bank, where I did some banking. Actor Stephen Tobolowsky was there. Actor Stephen Tobolowsky is everywhere – I seen him ALL the time, and sometimes I see his wife Ann. A little known fact is that his wife Ann was formerly not married to him and when she was formally not married to him I met her on the set of The Creature Wasn’t Nice. At that time her name was Ann Hearn. I have no idea how she came to be on the set of The Creature Wasn’t Nice, but Cindy Williams had left for the day and we hadn’t gotten an insert shot of her hands pointing at some controls. So, newly met Ann Hearn’s hands were enlisted for the shot and that shot is in the film. This is a fascinating story, isn’t it? This story alone already put me to sleep three times. What care I of the ubiquitous Stephen Tobolowsky who is EVERYWHERE I go? I’m thinking he must live in the City of Studio, he and the former Ann Hearn of the hands. They were recently at the Lawrence of Arabia screening. And he recently posted on Facebook or somewhere how excited, how thrilled he was to be holding the first copy of his first book in his hands (not Ann Hearn’s hands). The way he said it was almost as if he’d read these here notes way back in 2002 or any subsequent year, when I always speak of the feeling one gets when one is holding their new book in their old hands. It’s old news, Stephen Tobolowsky, at least around these here parts. I’ve felt it, Druxy has felt it, JohnG has felt it. And yet none of us are married to the former Ann Hearn. You all know what’s going to happen, don’t you? Don’t you just know what’s going to happen? Don’t even ask, but I’ll tell you anyway. What’s going to happen is that Stephen Tobolowsky and the former Ann Hearn are going to Google themselves and they are going to end up here reading this. If that happens may I just say here and now and also now and here, hi, Stephen and the former Ann Hearn and now Stephen Tobolowsky’s wife. Glad you could stop by. I’ve never met you, Stephen Tobolowsky, but I have met the former Ann Hearn and her Cindy Williams hands. Perhaps I’ll write a song called Cindy Williams Hands and it will be the sequel to Bette Davis Eyes or Audrey Hepburn Feet. In case you haven’t noticed, I seem to have lost my sanity – and that’s a good thing when you can’t remember what you did during a day.

Where was I? Oh, yes, then I chose some more songs, at least I think I did, then a dealer stopped by to pick up some CDs, at least I think he did, then I played two CDs by singer Jill O’Hara, which she’d recently sent me – they were quite nice. I know other things happened but don’t even ask. I do remember that at one point I sat on the couch like so much fish.

Last night, I watched the third Cracker movie. It was very good, but the ending was so weird and left one hanging in mid-air. I didn’t know what to think about it, frankly. The killer confesses, and then Cracker has a last conversation where the killer confesses again – this time that he’s not the killer and if the killer kills again, Cracker will know how it feels to cause a death. And so we never find out who the killer is. Isn’t that odd? I continue to be entranced by Geraldine Somerville who, in yesterday’s notes, I called Gwendolyn and if she wasn’t married with children I would marry her instantly. You know what’s going to happen, don’t you? Don’t even ask, but I’ll tell you anyway. Geraldine Gwendolyn Somerville will Google herself and then she’ll know my intentions.

After that, I listened to music, I did some work on the computer, I wrote a blurb and got audio samples to the web guy and I’m sure I must have seen Stephen Tobolowsky and the former Ann Hearn at some point. Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I am exhausted already from writing these here notes.

Today, I shall be up early and then I shall do a radio interview with Mr. Donald Feltham and then you’ll be able to hear it right here at haineshisway.com on The Broadway Radio Show, the longest-running radio show with disc jockey on all the Internet. After that, I’m sure I’ll run into Stephen Tobolowsky and the former Ann Hearn and her hands, I’ll hopefully pick up the package that should have been there yesterday, then I’ll prep the eBlast and finish choosing songs, and then I’ll gather up the sheet music. I was a little shocked to figure out I’m flying to the city that never sleeps a week from Sunday. Go know. This month is almost half over. How did that happen? Don’t even ask because I have no clew. Tonight I’m thinking about moseying on over to the Gardenia to see Maude Maggart, a singer I’ve heard about but have never heard. My pal John Boswell plays for her.

Tomorrow, other than a few little things, I intend to have a ME day and anyone who tries to stop me, even if it’s Stephen Tobolowsky or Ann Hearn’s hands, will rue the day, oh, yes, they will rue the day. Next week, as you might imagine, will be very busy getting everything done before my trip to the city that never sleeps.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, do a radio show, I must hopefully pick up some packages, I must eat, I must prep, I must choose, and then perhaps I may see a singer. Today’s topic of discussion: Don’t even ask. Oh, well, what are your all-time favorite logos for plays and musicals from say the 1950s to the 1980s, when logos stopped being that interesting. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland where I shall undoubtedly dream of Stephen Tobolowsky holding the first copy of his book in Ann Hearn’s hands.

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