Well, dear readers, I am sitting here like so much fish feeling like I may explode thanks to an incredible meal at Ruth’s Chris. Funnily, whilst I was eating it I didn’t feel that full. But by the time I got up to leave, I thought I was going to have to be put on a dolly and wheeled to the motor car. This is called the Ruth’s Chris Effect. But what food it was – my beloved salad with 1000-Island dressing, my beloved New York strip steak in sizzling butter, my beloved lobster mac-and-cheese, shared with everyone and even then we all only ate half, one little thing of Lyonnais potatoes, which were exquisite, and for dessert, we all shared a little chocolate exploding thing that was good. Thankfully, I hadn’t eaten all day. Attending the dining adventure were me, Sami Staitman and her mom, Karen. We had ever so much fun and yakked about everything, including the missive that’s going out tomorrow morning, at long last.
Prior to that, I’d had a rather wacky day. For some unknown reason, I woke up at six and could not fall back asleep. I stayed in bed till nine, got up, but I couldn’t even see straight, so I got back in bed at ten and fell asleep until noon, which was even more disorienting. It took a full two hours to feel normal. In that two hours, I got all the singers their music, so this is one Kritzerland show where I’m actually a month ahead in terms of getting them their material. Then I just tried to relax until it was time to leave. I started watching a motion picture on Netflix, another “recommendation” this one a thriller from late last year, yet another film I’d never heard of entitled Paranoia. And yes, it was yet another film written by idiots who wouldn’t know a plot hole if they fell into it and who paint by numbers. There is not a scene, a line, a plot device that you haven’t seen in over a hundred other films of this type. The director directs as if he wants his film to have not one original cinematic idea in it – it is literally jammed with shots from other movies, cookie-cutter every step of the way. I can’t believe that the book on which this is based is this bad, but then again literature is in the same toilet as cinema. The ineptitude and awfulness began with the usual five or six company logos, followed by all those names over again without the logos – whatever idiot is running things these days, enough already. From the opening frame and the ubiquitous, pompous, heavy-handed opening narration you know that you’re in for a cliché-ridden ride every step of the way. The leading man, some guy from The Hunger Games movies, is you typical, smug-looking, self-involved actor – you know, the kind with no discernable ability to play scenes, a body with no hips, a size twenty-eight waist and not a hair to be found on his body – except under his arms. I mean, if you’re going to rid yourself of hair go all the way, baby. And I mean NO hair anywhere because his pants are frequently so low they are just above revealing his privates. It is, for me, a disgusting look and I know both men and women seem to like it, but me, it just makes me want to vomit on the ground. But there are three interesting things in this movie and they are where the budget must have gone. As these things go, it looks like it was shot digitally and the budget reflects that if the $35 million is to be believed. So most of that must have gone to buying themselves the three good actors, all of whom are slumming and completely wasted – Harrison Ford (with a shaved head no less), Gary Oldman, and in a small role, Richard Dreyfuss. They’re all good actors who have no characters to play and terrible dialogue to recite. Since this film was made by the same entity that made most of the crap I watched the day before, one should, I presume remember that name so that we can just save ourselves the horror of watching their films: Relativity Media. I think the person or persons who read this script and green-lit this film should step forward and explain their background and why they don’t know an utter piece of crap when they see it. Sorry, but films like this are an affront to anyone who likes movies. I think the 5% on Rotten Tomatoes makes it one of the worst reviewed movies ever made, one lousy major review after another. And with a $7 million dollar box-office return, a complete wipeout financially. I don’t know how these companies stay in business.
Today, I shall hopefully arise after a good night’s beauty sleep, which I really need, and then I’m relaxing until our Annual Tony Awards Bash. I can’t remember if we care about spoilers here on the Coast of West, so discuss and come to a decision. If we do have spoilers, I do want to hear about everything else. This is, of course, the place to be for your Tony entertainment. It will be wild and wooly and also wooly and wild, mark my words.
Tomorrow I’ll be up at six to announce our new title, then I will send out the missive and we’ll see what effect it has and if we can put everything behind us. I should hope the contents will make everyone see just how wrong all of it has been from day one right up to now. One would hope, but who knows? Hopefully I’ll print out a LOT of orders, and do lots of other stuff. Tuesday I have a dinner to attend, and the rest of the week is meetings and meals and working with Sandy, I think (can’t remember exactly when she’s coming in).
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, sleep, relax, eat, and have a Tony Bash right here at haineshisway.com. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s free-for-all day, the day in which you dear readers get to make with the topics and we all get to post about them. So, let’s have loads of lovely topics and loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, whilst I recover from the Ruth’s Chris Effect, after which we shall have our Annual Tony Awards Bash.