Well, dear readers, we had us a pretty damn good stumble-through yesterday. Only a handful of lyric flubs, less than usual. Everyone’s doing great and there’s just a really good energy to this show. It hasn’t sold that well, and part of that is thanks to the stupid Tony people moving the broadcast up by a week – thanks, but no thanks and more about you in a moment. And there’s also a competing cabaret event – I will never for the life of me understand when people do this because they’re not only splitting our audience they’re splitting theirs. It’s truly inane, but what can you do but go about your business. We should have around sixty people, which is about twenty less than usual. No more Monday nights this year, period.
Prior to the stumble-through, I’d slept over nine hours, got up, did stuff on the computer, then did a jog, then cleaned the patio, which is overrun with those stupid orange balls that fall from one of the palm trees. I should have had that removed two months ago, but forgot. And the stupid squirrels love these orange balls and eat them maniacally and leave the sticky remains everywhere. So, I swept up all that crap and I’m sure when I arise there will be a large number of them again.
After the stumble-through, I gave some notes, we ran a couple of things, then I made some Wacky Noodles and it was time for our Annual Tony Awards Bash.
Last night, I spent three excruciating hours watching the Tony Awards on CBS. Every year, CBS, in a crass attempt to bolster ratings, involves all sorts of talent that should not come anywhere near these awards – this, they think, will bolster the always low ratings. Since that crass attempt NEVER bolsters the ratings they should stop. Note to CBS: Stop making this show pathetic – let it go somewhere else, somewhere that has respect and dignity, somewhere that won’t feel the need to enhance, or should I say ENHANCE, the cheering, the laughing and the ovations. Guess what, CBS? When you cut to a politely applauding audience and you push the screaming and cheering button you look like idiots. We can SEE that they’re not reacting like the sound you’re shoving down our throats, so just stop it because it makes me want to vomit on the ground. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – Radio City Music Hall is the WORST venue EVER for this show. Put it back in a real theater. No, you won’t be able to pimp out tickets to your teen screamers and that will be a good thing. Let this thing be a fun but dignified event like it used to be, because you’re doing no one a service by producing a show as bad as this.
The show began poorly, thanks to two hosts who should never host anything. I’ll just leave it at that, other than to say it was not funny, not interesting, and not a way to start a show. That was followed by the number A Musical from Something Rotten. After all I’d read about this number being the second coming, and plants in the audience trying to lead a mid-show standing ovation, I don’t think anything could have lived up to that. I suppose it was fun in that meta way, but I think I’m just burned out on numbers that spoof other numbers – it’s been done too much for my taste. Hell, I did it but that was back in 1981 when NO one had really done that – that was in Together Again and the number I Hate Musicals, and yes, that was a long time before Ruthless. I think people love numbers like this because it makes them feel “in” if they know the references. But, as I said, I’m just bored of it and while it was staged nicely, is that all there is? If that’s all there is, my friend, then let’s keep dancing, let’s break out the booze and have a ball, if that’s all there is. Maybe it’s a longer number in the show. Who knows? It was fun to see Brad Oscar, whom I adore, strut his stuff.
And what are the odds that two actors who both appeared in the same episode of Outside the Box, would be up for the supporting actor in a musical award at the Tonys? Because Brad and Brandon Uranowitz (for An American in Paris) were both in the Psycho episode of Outside the Box. And I do believe this was the first time a Kritzerland performer was up for a Tony – Beth Malone. None of them won – I was sad for Beth, because she’s amazing. I’ve only seen Kelli O’Hara in South Pacific, but it was not a performance I was in love with, and the bits from The King and I did not make me want to see a production that looks nowhere near as good as the last revival, the one I recorded. But, I guess if you play Anna you win – twenty years ago Donna Murphy did, and last night Kelli did.
I liked the little girl in the Fun Home number – she looks like she’s terrific in the show – but I’m not really a fan of the composer and this just sounded typically like her other stuff, especially the stuff from Violet. It’s a form of musical theater writing I just don’t care for – based on way too much repetition of short musical phrases, all orchestrated in an arch manner. Still, I’d like to see the show. I thought the number from It Should Have Been You was awful, the Finding Neverland act one finale was one of the most jaw-dropping embarrassingly bad numbers I’ve ever seen. I’m glad it’s doing a million dollars a week after receiving not very good notices – not all of us believe it’s making that much, and although he will never admit it, I’d bet that this show will never break even. The fact that its star is drawing people from having appeared on a TV show that just petered out is astonishing to me. The On the Town number was fine, but An American in Paris I have to see the rest of – what they showed was way too disjointed. I can’t remember what other shows paid to have their number presented – oh, yeah, On the Twentieth Century, which looks like a typical Roundabout production, i.e. of no interest to me whatsoever.
The writing on the show was horrendous. The ONLY funny thing on the entire broadcast was Larry David and I think we all know that he wrote his own thing. The direction was as per usual, and the Josh Groban thing was also an embarrassment. Note to producers: The In Memoriam section should be images, names, and music. PERIOD. Do NOT disrespect the artists that have passed away by making a promotional spot for Mr. Groban, who was excruciating to watch – the kind of emotionally vapid singer who has to keep his eyes closed all the time, as if he was lost in some terribly vulnerable and emotional place. Note to Mr. Groban – if you want people to think you’re telling a story, stop closing your eyes – the eyes are the window to the soul, and closing them is the most selfish thing a singer can do.
The dreary evening went on for three hours that seemed like six. And when Fun Home won its best musical award, everything that is loathsome about how shows are done today was there in an instant, with something like thirty producers trudging to the stage. Give me David Merrick or any of those guys any day of the week. THEY were producers, not thirty people paying to have their name above the title. Believe me, if I had a spare quarter of a million lying around, I could have been above the title, too. I wouldn’t, because one should not buy credits like that. But that’s just me. Another pet peeve and then I’ll shut up – choked up winners looking like they’re going to breakdown – without a tear in sight, EVER. You know what – when you get choked up for real your eyes automatically go into water mode. Also, some of the ugliest gowns I’ve ever seen in my life.
Today, I shall hopefully arise after a good night’s beauty sleep, I have some banking to do, and I have to get everything read to go to The Federal for our sound check. Then it’s the show.
The rest of the week is choosing songs, casting, and getting singers their music, some meetings and meals, and seeing a couple of shows.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, do a jog, do some banking, hopefully pick up packages, do a sound check and do a show. Today’s topic of discussion: The Tony Awards – likes, hates, favorite numbers, speeches. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, having survived another Tony Awards Bash here at haineshisway.com – we had quite a lot of lovely postings, I must say.