Well, dear readers, this week is flying by, like a gazelle doing a hoochie coochie dance whilst eating a toasted sesame bagel with cream cheese and wearing a fez. Does anyone still wear a fez? Does anyone still do a hoochie coochie dance? Does anyone still eat a toasted sesame bagel with cream cheese? Well, I can attest to the latter. And I just did a rather good hoochie coochie dance so I can attest to that to. Did you know that the hoochie coochie dance was a sexually provocative belly dance created in 1876? It was wildly popular as sexually provocative belly dances go. Don’t believe me. Take a look at THIS and be sure to click on the actual image – after which you may want to shield your eyes if you’re the sensitive type:
It found its way to these here United States of America in 1893, at the Chicago World’s Fair, where it caused both delight and consternation. There is nothing quite like a sixty-seven year-old Jew doing a hoochie coochie dance whilst writing these here notes. I tell you, it was downright sexually provocative. I mean the windows got steamed up. That leaves us with the fez. Why yes, it appears that you can still purchase a fez for as low as $3.99, a fez bargain if you ask me. I think all haineshisway.com dear readers should purchase a fez, photograph themselves in it and post it for all to see. We will single-handedly bring back the damn fez. We will cause a fez sensation. And if you happen to be doing the hoochie coochie whilst photographing yourself in the fez, well, that can only be a bonus. What the HELL am I talking about? Oh, and I’ve just placed my order for a $3.99 fez and it will be here within the week. I recommend you all do the same and there’s even one for under two bucks.
Yesterday was quite an ordinary day as ordinary days go. I got eight hours of sleep for sure, but it didn’t really feel like it. I answered e-mails, gathered up a couple of errant pieces of music, worked on my new song a bit, brought in two more songwriters for the LA revue, and then went and had a Philly Cheesesteak sandwich with a few fries. After that, I picked up no packages.
Then I came home, did some work on the computer, then decided to sit on my couch like so much fish.
Yesterday, I watched two motion pictures on the Flix of Net. That will be it for a while, as I must get back to actual Blu and Ray viewing. The first motion picture was entitled Maverick, starring Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster, and James Garner. I’d never had any interest in seeing it, frankly, but since I’d just watched another Richard Donner film, I gave it a look-see. Well, it’s okay. It has some amusing things in it, a lot of cameos and a screenplay by William Goldman. The problem is everyone at every turn just thinks they’re being so very clever and it’s like the movie is one giant wink, so you never take anything in it seriously, and that’s a little dangerous for a movie that runs two hours and six minutes. The cast is certainly fine and fun, especially Jodie Foster. Garner (the original Bret Maverick) is also grand fun, but anyone who doesn’t see his eventual plotline coming should have their movie going card revoked. In fact, all of the The Sting-like tells and cons can be seen coming a mile away. William Goldman, who has written some pretty great movies, is just coasting here and trying too hard. The reason the TV show, which I watched every week, worked so well was because while it had its tongue firmly planted in its cheek, you really did take it seriously. I had to laugh out loud when I looked up the grosses on the film. These studios really think they can get away with these phony-baloney grosses. Purportedly the film made around 180 million dollars worldwide, on a budget of seventy-five million. In the US it did not make its money back, and the fact that they’re actually trying to say it made all that other money overseas is a joke. Because let me tell you, had it made that kind of money, guess what – it would have become what they were hoping it would have become, i.e. a franchise. Oops. Anyway, some amusing moments do not a movie make.
Then I watched a motion picture from two years ago entitled Finding Faith, a film about the abduction of a fourteen-year-old girl who, in the course of the first twenty minutes of the film has not taken her eyes off either her cell phone or her computer. And we’re supposed to like this girl. She’s met a boy on the Internet, a sixteen-year-old fresh-faced young fellow and she likes him. The only thing is, it ain’t a sixteen-year-old, it’s a predator who’s going to abduct her and sell her into sex slavery, which is, believe it or not, a thriving business. Now, I like a good abduction-got-to-save-the-kid film as much as anyone else. I even enjoyed Taken. But this one’s a little different. This one was made by Christians – in fact several Falwells were involved in front of the camera and behind it. They could afford only one “name” and obviously what they could afford only got them Erik Estrada. I’m not making this up, you know. The budget for this thing was apparently $100,000. For that, it doesn’t look terrible and it’s competently directed, but horribly written and acted by just about everyone. It begins with a voiceover by Mr. Estrada, basically a sermon-like pontification. The Christian thing is kind of there throughout most of the first third, then they put it away for just a bit, and then bring it back heavily in the final third. When the gal is finally rescued there are no less than three songs on the soundtrack praising Jesus – THREE complete songs. In a row. After they save her, the film plods on for another twelve interminable minutes while we listen to the THREE complete praising Jesus songs and get more voiceover sermonizing from Mr. Estrada including a long Bible quote. While the problem in this film is very real and one that should be talked about so that kids don’t behave stupidly, this kind of film is so limited in its appeal that no one even knows of its existence. It played a week in some Christian areas and that was that. Given the hundreds of folks thanked in the end credit crawl, it appears to have been crowd funded.
After that, I went to Gelson’s and got some shrimp cocktail shrimp and a tiny bit of seafood salad for my evening snack. I’d really gone there to get something sweet, but I was strong and didn’t succumb. Then I came home, ate it all up, and relaxed.
Today, I have a few things to do, a couple more pieces of music to get, and then we have a pick-up rehearsal at four-fifteen. I only have two minor things to clean up, both only having to do with holding at the end of a song and what her face has to do to keep that applause going on those two numbers. It’s a little trick and once she learns it those two endings will get even bigger reaction than they do, and they both get a pretty damn big reaction. After that, I think we’ll go eat something fun.
Tomorrow, I’ll be getting the Welcome to My World CDs in the morning, and we’ll get them shipped out on Monday, but will happily have them for this weekend’s performances. I’m hoping we sell a few. At this point, we have decent houses on Friday and Saturday nights (we hope the count will keep going up), and then we should have a really nice house on Sunday from what I’m told.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, gather music, hopefully pick up packages, have a pick-up rehearsal, eat, and relax. Today’s topic of discussion: Of all the popular dances over the years, which are you particularly adept at, which did you hate, and which did you love? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, where I shall do the hoochie coochie whilst wearing a fez and talking like Dan Duryea.