Well, dear readers, why is it that everyone thinks they can write a musical? And why is it that so few people do it well or even have a clew as to what constitutes a good musical? I have seen some doozies in my time, from full-blown terrible Broadway shows, to the worst staged readings and 99-seat theater disasters. And you know what? They’re always the same – the same mistakes, the same problems, the same unwillingness to fix even the smallest problems. All that by way of saying I saw a new musical last night and I shan’t dwell on it, other than to say it went right to the head of the class in terms of what I’m talking about. You know, writing lyrics is a craft, under any circumstances. But in musical theater it is especially needed, the craft. So, when I hear false rhymes in every single song it just makes me want to become a serial killer. And it’s a real problem when every song sounds the same, when there are twenty-three musical numbers, which are all basically variations on about three subjects. To put this in perspective, Oklahoma has about fourteen actual songs and they’re all about different things and arise our of plot and character. Carousel has about fifteen songs – and they’re all about different things and arise out of character and plot. The first lyrics we hear are about boobs and ASS – that’s how we get drawn into this show. There are several numbers about big male parts and many, many lines of dialogue about big male parts. It’s more than crass, it’s lazy writing. If you want us to care about characters then they have to be more than clichés. I did not care about one person on that stage and when everything is suddenly all neatly tied up in literally the last two minutes of the show, I cared even less. Now, when the audience is packed with family and friends and the show garners not one big laugh (I believe the writers intend for it to be amusing), and when the applause throughout is tepid for ninety percent of the numbers, something is wrong. I’m sure the intentions were honorable in the writing – it came out of a real-life experience, and the author’s note in the program is better than what they actually wrote. Having the music played on tracks is deadly – it just is. Having head mics cranked to maximum in a 99-seat theater is just not okay, plus the actor sound only comes out of one speaker and so you occasionally don’t know who the HELL is talking.
My wonderful Kay Cole did as good as you could do with this material and I’m sure it was frustrating for her, as it would be for any good director. I did see our very own Rob Stevens there – his plus one was a lovely fellow who saw Welcome to My World four times. He told me he plays the CD all the time in his car. I’ll be interested to read Rob’s review of the show – I think I know which way that wind is blowing, but you never know. That said, it is always worth admiring anyone who does a job and completes it and brings it to some kind of fruition. If there’s a next stage for this I hope they make some necessary changes.
Prior to that, I got a little under eight hours of sleep. Then I did some errands and whatnot and then spent several hours trying to finish this damn song I’ve been slaving over for two or three weeks. It’s close now – just a few more lyric tweaks and I’ll have it. Of course, I could just mis-rhyme and not care, but the craft of lyric writing is one I take very seriously. I had two tuna sandwiches for my main meal o’ the day. On the way home, I stopped at Popeye’s and got one chicken breast to go, came home and ate it all up.
Today, I shall have a noon o’clock lunch or brunch meeting, after which I’ll come home, do some writing, and relax a bit.
This week is very busy with meetings and meals as well as meals and meetings, and I’m seeing a couple of things, too.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, have a lunch or brunch meeting, write, and relax. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s free-for-all day, the day in which you dear readers get to make with the topics and we all get to post about them. So, let’s have loads of lovely topics and loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, where I shall ponder why musicals are hard.