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December 28, 2015:

WILL THE MYSTERY GUEST SIGN IN PLEASE?

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, do you have your blindfolds in place? Then will the mystery guest sign in please? For those of us of an age, you will know instantly what that is from. What’s My Line was a show we never missed in the Kimmel household. The original series was on the air for an astonishing seventeen years – the longest running game show in history. It was revived the same year as it ended as a syndicated series and I even attended a taping of that version back in 1970 at the Ed Sullivan Theater. I only remember that Soupy Sales and Larry Blyden were in it. Of course everyone’s favorite part of the show was the mystery guest. But before we get to that, the show was blessed to have wonderful panelists – while some came and went, the regulars were the witty and urbane Bennett Cerf (who also ran Random House), Arlene Francis, and Dorothy Kilgallen. So, why am I bringing all this up? Well, I’ll tell you why because why should I withhold such information from you dear readers? I bring it up because I just spent the last three hours watching the mystery guests on a whole slew of episodes that are on You Tube. There is nothing on television today in terms of comedy that is as funny as what I watched. One great guest after another – Groucho, Red Skelton, Jerry Lewis (several times), Jackie Gleason, Gary Cooper, Lucy and Desi, Jack Benny (several times and hilarious each time), Ozzie and Harriet, and, well, everyone. I laughed and laughed and just when I thought I could laugh no more, I watched on final mystery guest – Ed Sullivan. And here’s the shocker – he was the funniest of them all. I literally howled with laughter with tears streaming from my eyeballs. But rather than tell you about it, just go to 16:35 and watch for yourselves.

I mean, honestly, is that not hilarious? Anyway, host John Charles Daly was as good a host as any game show ever had, and the utter simplicity of all of it is its charm. Today it would be so overproduced it would be nauseating. And actually, it’s not as if they haven’t tried doing exactly that – overproducing and adding special effects. In 1996, Miramax was going to do it – but it was too costly and was scrapped. Yes, a simple game show was too costly. Then in 2000 a pilot was done on CBS with Harry Anderson, but it was passed over for another pilot that got the green light – something called Survivor. We should all be grateful that so many episodes exist to be viewed. Anyway, how many of you guessed that today’s mystery guest was – Guy Haines?

Yesterday was a completely lazy day. I slept over ten-and-a-half hours, not waking up until one. Then I just played on the computer, went to pick up a couple of packages, and then made a half portion of Wacky Noodles and sat on my couch like so much fish.

If you count the number of servings in a pound of wide egg noodles it comes out to about 1350, so half of that was only 675 – add the other ingredients and it gets you to about 875. And that’s all I basically ate yesterday. Whilst eating I watched a motion picture on Blu and Ray entitled The Brain that Wouldn’t Die. There have been so many awful PD releases of this film that hearing there was a new Blu-ray being touted as from the negative was especially fun. And yes, it’s leaps and bounds ahead of any other version on video. Interestingly it seems to be licensed from MGM/UA and Orion, but I’m guessing they had the element used for the transfer because as far as I know, the film is still very much in the public domain, which is why you’re seeing all those different stage versions, including the one that dear reader George just did. The film itself is wacky and pretty terrible, but it holds a certain fascination for its then over-the-top violence – it was actually shot in 1959 but not released until 1962. Of course, amongst bad movie fans it became legendary. It’s mercifully short (but still ten minutes longer than the version released to theaters in 1962), but the two leads are actually decent actors – Jason Evers (billed as Herb Evers) and Virginia Keith. Some of her performance, mostly the off-camera cackling and stuff, was dubbed by another actress because Miss Keith really loathed the movie and wouldn’t return for post-production. The director is not what you’d call competent – he has one other feature to his credit, done in 1986 and unavailable for viewing anywhere, and apparently just as bad as this film. As to the transfer, they’re being a little disingenuous – it’s certainly not off the camera negative – it’s off an internegative used for making prints, complete with cue marks – at least there’s one at the twenty-minute mark that would have been very easy to remove. I didn’t take notice of others, so they’re either there or they removed them. It’s got nice detail and contrast and is in the 1.66 ratio, which is not how it was shown here – it should be 1.85.

After that, I watched about three I Love Lucy episodes on the first season Blu-ray – the pilot is, of course, a kinescope and not very good. But the real episodes look incredible and they’re still very funny. I kept dozing all afternoon, and one of the dozes lasted ninety full minutes. After that, I watched all the What’s My Line stuff.

Today, I have a few things to attend to, mostly to do with the Kritzerland show, I’ll hopefully pick up some packages, then I’m seeing Jason Graae and Faith Prince at The Federal in the evening.

Tomorrow I have a lunch meeting at a nearby eatery, Wednesday I’m seeing dear reader Jeanne for lunch, then Thursday is, of course, our New Year’s Rockin’ Eve Bash right here at haineshisway.com – the only partay you’ll need to attend. I will of course be spending the evening alone but here, and I will do my usual end of year contemplation about what things I was happy with and what I still need to work on to improve.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, do some work on the Kritzerland show, hopefully pick up packages, then sup and see a show at The Federal. Today’s topic of discussion: What are your favorite classic game show memories and did you ever get to see any game show taping? I did – I saw Juke Box Jury, What’s My Line, and The Price is Right, and probably another couple that I’m not remembering. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, happy to have guessed the mystery guest correctly.

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