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February 1, 2017:

ENTER FEBRUARY

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, I know you’re not going to believe this. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, you’re not going to believe this but it is February. January flew by, like a gazelle throwing a Frisbee in Rancho Cucamonga. And it is, of course, my fervent hope and prayer that February will be a month filled with health, wealth, happiness, creativity, and all things bright and beautiful. Where the HELL did January go, that’s what I want to know. Of course, I did write a new book so it went somewhere.

The final day of January was a perfectly okay day, but with a few irritants, mostly having to do with some Amazon ineptitude. I got nine hours of sleep, only because the alarm didn’t go off – that was fine. Once up, I had e-mails to answer and some telephonic calls to have. I was stuck here until Mr. Garage Man came – my window of time was noon to four. Thankfully, he came at one and was done by one-thirty. The problem was one of the sensors somehow got bumped or moved, although how I have no idea – he straightened it and voila, everything was fine. But he also serviced everything and it’s all working splendidly now.

After that, I went and had a patty melt and a small cup o’ chili – all very tasty. I could see that the package I was expecting hadn’t been delivered, and I noted it was coming via Amazon’s own delivery truck. This yo-yo tends to always come late in the day. It’s difficult talking to Amazon about it because they always say they have until eight to deliver – but they also know that the UPS Store closes at six-thirty – this is absolutely known to this yo-yo driver. As the afternoon progressed it still wasn’t there and that was very irritating. At four-thirty I pretty much figured it was a lost cause, but Amazon couldn’t do anything about it until it actually didn’t show up. So, I sat on my couch like so much fish.

Yesterday, I watched an excellent motion picture on a region B Blu and Ray entitled The Man Between, starring James Mason and Claire Bloom, directed by Carol Reed. I’d never seen it, and I must say I was quite taken with it – gorgeous black-and-white photography, great direction, wonderful script by Harry Kurnitz and terrific performances to boot. Highly recommended by the likes of me. They don’t make ‘em like that anymore.

Then at about six-fifteen the package STILL hadn’t been delivered so I went to the mail place and got the actual mail and I waited there until six-thirty just in case the yo-yo was going to arrive at the last minute. He didn’t, and I came home. I went onto the Amazon site and saw that the package had been delivered at six-forty. I couldn’t believe it and the only reason he’d been able to leave it is because they hadn’t locked up yet. I called and I read them the riot act since I couldn’t go back and get it – I got my fifth free month of Prime, but I also said I was not getting off the phone until I spoke to someone in a high position at the Amazon delivery facility. And I did – very nice lady. They have now noted in my record that any package I order that is delivered by them has to be there within business hours. She also is lodging a complaint so that the yo-yo will be spoken to. It’s not brain surgery – logic would dictate that if you can deliver residential packages until eight o’clock that you naturally would deliver the business address packages during business hours. But noooooo, that would be too hard for this yo-yo.

I then watched a second motion picture on a region B Blu-ray, this one entitled The Small World of Sammy Lee, a weird little movie starring Anthony Newley, directed by Ken Hughes. Newley plays a fourth-rate emcee in a strip club who’s into some nasty people for three hundred pounds – he has until seven that night to pay up. The character is quite unlikeable and behaves stupidly, so it’s hard to be involved really, but it’s all done very well and I didn’t turn it off or anything.

Then I relaxed, listened to music, got the final mock-up of the new book cover (with my name added) and it looks really good. I took a hot shower and then listened to more music.

Today, I will, of course, pick up the package I should have received yesterday, I will do some banking, and then I’ll relax until it’s time for our stumble-through. I suppose I’ll have to eat before the stumble-through as we won’t be done until about 7:45. This screwy schedule has me all discombobulated, I must say. Anyway, the show is basically sold out, so that’s good.

Tomorrow I will just relax until it’s time for sound check and then our show. I’m sure some of us will go to Little Toni’s afterwards. I will, of course, have a full report. Friday I think I’m lunching with Kay Cole and then I’m not sure what the weekend holds other than finishing casting the Rupert Holmes show and finish choosing those songs.

Let’s all put on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, let’s all break out the cheese slices and the ham chunks, let’s all dance the Hora or the Lambada (The Forbidden Dance), because today is the birthday of dear reader Kerry.  So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to dear reader Kerry.  On the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO DEAR READER KERRY!!!

And let’s also give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to our very own dear disc jockey Donald Feltham.  On the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO OUR VERY OWN DEAR DISC JOCKEY DONALD FELTHAM!!!

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, pick up a package, eat, relax, and have a stumble-through. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Ask BK Day, the day in which you get to ask me or any dear reader any old question you like and we get to give any old answer we like. So, let’s have loads of lovely questions and loads of lovely answers and loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, reminding you that it is my fervent hope and prayer that February will be a month filled with health, wealth, happiness, creativity, and all things bright and beautiful.

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