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April 23, 2017:

FETID ICE CREAM

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, here is either an amusing or horrifying story regarding my beloved cherry chip ice cream of the Thrifty kind. A couple of weeks ago I stopped and got several cartons of it and was thrilled, when checking the date, to see that they’d been packed just a couple of weeks prior. I took them home, and over a couple of weeks went through a couple of them. So, I started on the final carton and it tasted horrible and even made me a little sick. I tried it a second time, same thing. So, yesterday I was looking at it sitting in the freezer like so much fish, wondering how something so recently packed could be so bad – maybe just a bad batch, thought I. I took it out and looked at the date – and this particular carton’s date was different than the others – this one was packed in mid-2015. Yes, you heard that right, dear readers, 2015. Two YEARS ago. And below that it said the expiry date was January of this year. I was basically eating fetid ice cream and I got so irritated that I immediately plopped the carton in the motor car and drove over to the Rite Aid from which I’d purchased it, found a manager and confronted her about it. She seriously acted like such a moron, just staring at the date – I asked her if she thought it was okay for them to be selling something, food no less, from two YEARS ago and which had an expiry date of January. She just looked at me and asked what I wanted to do. I said the first thing I wanted was a replacement carton – she told me to go get it. There were no cartons dated as recent as the ones I’d gotten, but there were three from December so I knew those would be fine. But I looked at all twenty cartons and the majority were from 2015. I recommended to the manager they get rid of those, lest someone gets seriously ill. She just looked at me and I took my replacement carton and went home, where I had a cup of ice cream that was actually edible.

Prior to that, I was up at eight-thirty, she of the Evil Eye arrived, and I went and had some bacon, eggs, and fruit. After that, I took a drive to the Iliad Bookstore – hadn’t been in ages. I was rather surprised to see quite a few BK books on the shelves – I never see them anywhere. There were all three Kritzer books and I bought the two that weren’t signed – the first book had been one of the very early copies without the front free endpaper – I didn’t recognize the name of the person to whom I’d signed it – it was probably at Mystery and Imagination – I did do a few signings after that, but we had the corrected copies for those. There were also copies of Writer’s Block, the short story collection, and Rewind. Last time I’d been there, there were a few of the Hofstetter mysteries, but those were apparently bought. And in the slightly sad department, whoever disposed of my beloved late hairdresser Teddy’s books sold them to the Iliad, because both books I’d signed to him were there. For five dollars I also picked up this very weird bound book thing of sheet music from Frank Music Corporation (Frank Loesser’s publishing house). Stamped on the outside was Frank Music Affiliates Program Guide. Inside were stunningly mint copies of songs from all of Loesser’s shows, along with his pop stuff and some songs by other composers. A very interesting item.

After that, I picked up no packages, a nice envelope, I did some banking, and then I finally came home. I answered e-mails, had some telephonic conversations and listened to more music. At some point I ate a couple of low-calorie no-fat hot dogs on low-calorie buns. I worked on the script of the new musical, and then I got adventurous and did a two and a half mile jog – my first jog since January. I must do the jog regularly for the next couple of weeks.

I wasn’t really in the mood to watch anything, so I just finished listening to the Shostakovich symphonies set (very good), and did some work on the computer, whilst relaxing. I took a shower, and that was that.

Today, I’ll hopefully arise after a good night’s beauty sleep. I may jog, I need to put some gas in the motor car, and then I’m seeing the final performance of a play, after a lunch.

This week, as I’ve said, will be extremely crazy and busy, casting Dial ‘M’ for Murder and the Sherman Brothers musical, lots of meetings and meals, and a lot of work to do on the computer.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, get a good night’s beauty sleep, maybe jog, put gas in the motor car, have lunch, and then see the closing performance of a play. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s free-for-all day, the day in which you dear readers get to make with the topics and we all get to post about them. So, let’s have loads of lovely topics and loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, happy to have gotten rid of the way too old ice cream.

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