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March 7, 2018:

A MINOR MIRACLE TRUMPS AN ANNOYING ANNOYANCE

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, we had a small miracle yesterday, so that was helpful and lovely, but it was immediately followed by a completely unnecessary annoyance that still hasn’t been rectified and won’t be until today at some point – if it isn’t, there will be hell toupee for the people who made the error. Other than that, I was able to breathe a bit easier, but one additional miracle, however it manifests itself, would really make things easier.

I got about seven hours of sleep – I didn’t fall asleep until almost four – have to stop doing that. Once up, I answered e-mails, had a telephonic call, then put some gas in the motor car and went and got two meat patties so I could make two burgers for my meal o’ the day. I got the lowest in fat meat. Then I came home and made the two burgers on my low-calorie low-fat buns and they were really good. After that, I ascertained there was no mail nor packages and so I just stayed put. I did some work at the piano, trying to finish the third song for this new musical. Then I was happy to see that the new book via eBook was also up at Barnes & Noble.

That was basically the day. Then I logged onto the Flix of Net on the computer, since the Blu-ray player won’t connect – we do have to solve that problem, I’m just not sure how yet. I’ve tried any number of things that haven’t worked. And so I sat at my computer like so much fish and watched a motion picture from last year entitled Inconceivable. Given that it starred Nicolas Cage and I’d never heard of it, I pretty much knew what I was in for, I just wasn’t quite prepared for how terrible it would be, but it was inconceivable that it would be worse than I could have imagined. Then again, the film is called Inconceivable. There is no need to pontificate on how bad this film – the script is horrible, the photography is digital (and I don’t mean that as a positive), and I can’t feel for Nicolas Cage because he obviously enjoys the dough and likes working. Faye Dunaway was clearly bamboozled by the moron director – clearly. She should, at this point, take a leaf from Jane Fonda’s book and attempt to not slum. Because when you slum like this, no one will hire you to do something worthwhile. BTW, the “director” described this to the press as a comeback role for her. Uh huh. She has maybe six minutes of screen time.

Gina Gershon gives it her all, but I’ve never thought much of her all and even if she were Meryl Streep there is simply nothing to be done with either the character or the insufferable dialogue. I found Nicky Whelan ever so annoying, all schmacting all the time.   So where does all this end up? Correct, the director, someone named Jonathan Baker. a) He is a terrible director. b) He is a terrible director, and c) He is also a terrible actor who put himself in this film and the as the terrible director he got a terrible performance out of himself. Oh, and d) He is a terrible director and, having read up on him, a man of limitless chutzpah and ego.

What else is new? The director’s claim to fame is The Amazing Race. He has exactly five acting credits, one feature film credit (this one) and that’s it. So how exactly did he bamboozle these actors and the people who funded the film? Well, apparently he has money from somewhere – his wife perhaps? Family? Because apparently he put in a million bucks of his own money. Well, that’s one way to direct a film. He’s also apparently funding a documentary about – him. I’m not making this up, folks. This guy is everything that’s wrong with the movies today and hopefully after the failure of this wretched film we will not be subjected to another film from him. The film cost twelve million dollars with, I’m sure, a good deal of that going to the actors he “bought”. Certainly none of it went into the filming, which took fifteen days. Who can blame Mr. Cage for taking a large check like that? Or Ms. Dunaway? Or Ms. Gershon? And the film’s gross? Under $300,000. So, a complete and utter disaster. I found exactly two legit reviews – the LA Times and the Hollywood Reporter – both hugely negative as they should be – sorry, Mr. Baker, money can’t buy that for you.

After that, I cleansed my palette with some popcorn. I revised the Kritzerland show order, just moving one song to a later position – that sometimes happens when I hear everyone at the first rehearsal. Then I listened to some music, took a hot shower, and relaxed.

Today, I will hopefully pick up packages, I’ll eat, do work at the piano, go over the commentary to make sure I’m happy with all of it, and that should be about it other than perhaps watching something or relaxing.

Tomorrow is our second Kritzerland rehearsal, so I’m looking forward to that. Not sure what’s happening on Friday, Saturday is our stumble-through, and then Sunday is sound check and show.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, hopefully pick up packages, eat, work at the piano, go through the commentary, watch something, and relax. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Ask BK Day, the day in which you get to ask me or any dear reader any old question you like and we get to give any old answer we like. So, let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, happy for the small miracle.

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