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May 2, 2019:


Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, this month is flying by, like a gazelle trying unsuccessfully to purchase some Flaky Flix cookies.  My Darling Daughter reminded me a couple of weeks ago of Flaky Flix cookies.  When she was a kid we loved our Flaky Flix – man, could we go through a package quickly. They don’t make ‘em anymore, which is a crying shame.  Damn them, damn them all to hell.

Yesterday, the first day of May, was actually quite a delightful day, although I wish more orders had come in.  I got about six-and-a-half hours of sleep, due to the ringing of the doorbell by some DWP guy saying they needed to trim back a tree in the yard. I had to be up by eleven anyway, so there was no point in going back to bed.  I answered e-mails, printed out a small number of orders, and was notified that something called the Valley Theater Awards had announced their nominees. It seems everywhere you look, there’s yet another award thing going on.  This one is Valley specific.  I don’t really take any of that seriously, but still was happy to see A Carol Christmas nominated for Best Musical, best writing of a play or musical, me for director, and three of our actors in supporting performance categories.  I wasn’t thrilled that our leading lady, upon whose shoulders the entire show rested, wasn’t nominated in a category with only three nominees.  Anyway, that was a nice way to begin a morning.  Then I moseyed on over to the bank.  Being the first of the month, I knew what I was in for – huge lines.  But surprisingly there wasn’t a soul in the bank at all.  I went right up to the only teller working, did my stuff and was out of there in two minutes.

After that, I went to the mail place and picked up some packages, then stopped at Taco Bell for my 1100 calorie meal, which I brought home and ate.  Then it was my intention to relax and clear my head, which is basically what I did. I listened to some music, got a lovely e-mail from a fan of my second film, The Creature Wasn’t Nice aka Spaceship aka Naked Space.  Here’s what this lovely person had to say:

“Hi Mr. Kimmel!  I was looking around the internet today for birthday gift ideas for my brother, and ran into a “The Creature Wasn’t Nice” script on eBay that had your name on the cover.  Then I fell down a productivity rabbit hole looking up information about one of our favorite movies growing up, (although we knew it as “Spaceship”).  And then I found your site and “Ask Bruce” link, so I don’t really have a question, but a from-the-heart compliment:

Growing up in Nebraska in the 80’s, our parents always had dubious skills on filtering the movies we’d select from “The Video Station” rental place, and once every few months we’d pick up “Spaceship”, and laugh all weekend long.  Hearing three boys (age 4, 8, and 10) walking around saying things like “Science is my pie, Curiosity is my sweet tooth…”, naming things “The Stark <whatever>”, to “Gimme some leeway…”, and obviously the musical number, I’m sure our teachers just shook their heads.

To this day we’ll sometimes pop it in, but there’s a place in our hearts for all of it, so I wanted to say thank you!  It has brought us a lot of joy and laughter over the years.”

I love getting e-mails like that. Then I finally sat on my couch like so much fish.

Last night, I watched two “thrillers” on the Flix of Net.  First I finished the awful Nicolas Cage movie – can’t even remember the name and truly a piece of junk and so stupidly out there that you sit and scratch your head. In one sex scene he’s shtupping someone and reading aloud from a book by – Nicolas Cage.  I mean, say what?

Then I watched the first thriller, which was entitled Hide in Plain Sight (originally titled Kill Me Twice), a by the numbers horribly written movie – you know the deal – abusive husband, wife fakes suicide to get away from him – has his baby, and is living under a new name in a new town. Husband finds out where and blah, blah, blah.  The production company was, I believe, the same as the Nicolas Cage movie – Mar Vista Entertainment.  I don’t know about the “Entertainment” part, but I went to their website and they have truly made some of the worst stuff ever.  I guess there’s a niche for bad stuff and they fill it.

After that, it was You Get Me, another “thriller” sans thrills.  Let’s see if this plot sounds as familiar as Hide in Plain Sight’s plot: Boyfriend and girlfriend argue and break up at a party.  Before he leaves, boyfriend meets sultry girl, goes home with her, they spent a passion-filled evening and next day, and then he goes home.  Girlfriend calls, they meet and get back together.  The sultry girl shows up again and is plainly a psycho who will not be ignored.  She becomes friends with the girlfriend, almost kills another girl in the group who suspects her of no good, tells the girlfriend everything, and on and on and on. So, the pitch must have been: Fatal Attraction in high school.  Yep, that’s the brilliance here – high school.  It was pretty wretched.

After that, I could take no more, so I had some peanuts for my evening snack, and finally wrote a tribute to David Cassidy for some book.  That’s why these here notes are late.

Today, I can sleep in, hopefully some orders will come in, and then I’ll hopefully pick up some packages.  Then at four we have our second Kritzerland rehearsal. After that, Peyton, her mom, and I are going to sup and talk about a project.

Tomorrow, I have a noon o’clock lunch meeting, then I’m free. Saturday is our stumble-through, and Sunday is our sound check and show.  Monday we have a run-through of our revue, and Tuesday we play it.

Let’s all put on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, let’s all break out the cheese slices and the ham chunks, let’s all dance the Hora or the old-fashioned waltz, for today is the birthday of our very own dear reader FJL.  So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to our very own dear reader FJL.  On the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO OUR VERY OWN FJL!!!

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, sleep in, hopefully print out some nice orders, hopefully pick up some packages, have a rehearsal, and sup. Today’s topic of discussion: What were your favorite cookies when you were growing up.  What are your favorites now?  And what cookies that aren’t made anymore would you most like to see come back? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, where I shall dream of eating an entire package of Flaky Flix.

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