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May 12, 2019:


Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, this day was a here and gone day, which is what happens when you get nine-and-a-half hours of needed sleep and arise at noon-thirty.  The day was here and now it’s gone.  I spent too much of it on the phone with Amazon Logistics trying to get the idiots who schedule the routes to get me my package that had an attempted delivery on Friday evening at seven-thirty, one hour after the UPS Store closes.  They know the hours and this guy never went there, he just lied.  I called that night and they made notes and said they were updating the records to show the UPS Store as a business so that packages get there by five in the afternoon at the latest.  And that, of course, is the thing – they can deliver residential packages up until nine, whereas business locations should always be scheduled during – wait for it – business hours.  They also promised they were prioritizing my package for morning delivery.  Of course, I checked immediately upon rising at noon-thirty.  It hadn’t been delivered and it said it was due by 6:45. Well, on weekends the UPS Store closes at five but even if they closed by six-thirty, 6:45 doesn’t cut it. I called, they promised me they’d prioritize and get it there shortly – at that point, two o’clock, he was at Burbank and Woodman, which is literally five minutes from my house, and ten minutes from the UPS Store.  By three-fifteen he STILL hadn’t delivered, so I called back and got a lot of hot air, this time going to a supervisor.

At four o’clock, I finally was on my way, first to Gelson’s to pick up the makings for my faux chicken stroganoff over rice, and then over to the UPS Store across the street.  I checked Amazon and it still hadn’t been delivered, so I called again, this time saying I’d had it and wanted an immediate refund.  The nice fellow processed it immediately and told me I could keep the package when it finally arrived – I’d already been given $25 in promotional credit.  I picked up the one package there, along with two residuals for the Penn and Teller show, and then I came home.

I called the mail place at five and was told the package had JUST been delivered.  One more minute and they would have been closed.  That is insanity.  Three hours to get from Woodman and Burbank to the mail place, a ten-minute ride.  I have lodged complaints with the LA logistics branch, mostly about the sheer idiocy of how the routes are scheduled.

Then I made my faux chicken stroganoff whilst listening to the rather delightfully delightful musique of Jean Francaix.  Then I ate my meal o’ the day and it was quite good.

I’d also begun the audition process for audio books of GEE and Murder at the Magic Castle – I’d actually started the latter a month-and-a-half ago, had received three okay auditions, but for some reason it wasn’t live anymore.  So, today I got about three more for Murder at the Magic Castle and one for GEE. They don’t let you do more than two or three pages for these auditions and it’s simply not enough to tell what you need to tell.  Of these that came in, they all overplay the male characters – it’s okay with Patrick Bronstein, but not okay with the males in GEE.  There was one of the earlier auditions that I thought was decent, so I’ll listen to that one again, and hopefully more will come in.  Then I sat on my couch like so much fish.

Last night, I watched a motion picture entitled Dementia. This fifty-seven-minute motion picture almost gave ME dementia.  What a completely weird movie this is.  Obviously done on the cheap, it’s just a wacko, nightmarish, kind of incomprehensible movie with no dialogue and a good score by George Antheil, with oohs and aahs provided by Marni Nixon.  Most of it’s completely silent, but occasionally you hear footsteps or things like that – there’s no consistency to it.  This was, of course, rather infamously retitled Daughter of Horror, shaved of two minutes run time, and with hilarious narration throughout by none other than Ed McMahon.  That’s the version most know.  The DVD has both versions, just in case you’re a glutton for punishment.  Then I listened to more Francaix.

Today, I can sleep in again, then I’ll mosey on over to the mail place to pick up the errant and truant package.  Not sure what I’ll do about food at this point.  I always think of lots of fun options whilst writing the notes, decide on which before bed and then don’t feel like that option when push comes to shove or, for that matter, shove comes to push.  And of course today is Mother’s Day, for all you mothers out there in the dark or for anyone who misses their mom, I wish you only the best day.

Tomorrow, I’ll be up early and then I’ll mosey on over to the DGA Pension office for my ten-thirty meeting.  Once that’s done, I’ll probably head right back home, although since I’m down that way I suppose I might just stop at Astro Burger – haven’t been in ages and I do miss it.

The rest of the week is meetings and meals, locking down all the songs for the Group Rep and Kritzerland shows.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, sleep in, pick up the errant and truant package, figure out food, and relax.  Today’s topic of discussion: It’s free-for-all day, the day in which you dear readers get to make with the topics and we all get to post about them.  So, let’s have loads of lovely topics and loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, wishing all of you mothers out there in the dark a Happy Mother’s Day.

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