Haines Logo Text
Column Archive
June 21, 2019:


Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, first things first – please send your strongest and most excellent vibes and xylophones for my passing the DMV test. I spent a good deal of yesterday taking sample tests – they say the questions are all logical and that the right answer is very obvious, but that’s really not the case.  There are some things that just aren’t all that clear. Yes, they’re all in the handbook, which is over 100 pages long and I’m sorry, I don’t retain that much information. I did do okay on the sample tests so I hope I get those questions.  At some point, I just couldn’t look at anything anymore, it was just too much information to absorb, and I’ve been doing this all week, albeit for only an hour each day.  So, send them excellent vibes and xylophones, as I do need to pass this on the first try.

Yesterday wasn’t much of a day as days go.  I did get ten hours of sleep, not arising until one. Once up, I answered e-mails, had some telephonic calls, and then I went and picked up a couple of packages, got Popeye’s for lunch (two mild breasts – which is also the title of my next novel), came home and ate it all up.  Then I began the DMV stuff, which lasted for most of the afternoon.

Then I noticed that AT&T charged me for my landline and for the third month it was over $100.  I’d called four months ago and railed on about it, and they said they were making a change so it wouldn’t be more than seventy-five.  That happened for one month only, but I just haven’t had time to call about it.  I got a fairly snooty “loyalty” representative, whose idea of loyalty was to let me drop the landline rather than offering me a different kind of deal. We first ascertained why it had gone up – a rate hike the month after I had my last conversation.  Brilliant.  He finally offered me a different plan with no long distance calling, which is fine since I do that from my cell phone, so I’m back down to a base plan of about fifty-five bucks a month, but then you have to add the tax, which is a whopping twenty bucks.  Can someone explain to me how that is legal, because I just don’t get it and get it I don’t.

All the while, I listened to the rest of the Panufnik discs – not exactly what I’d call happy music, but very interesting, and I like some of it very much.  I also futzed and finessed the old/new song – it was just one four-line section that was bothering me – it bothered me originally, but in banging out the new tune I’d found an additional rhyme in two of the verses that I really liked having there, but I could not do it in the first verse with the lines I had.  I wrote about twenty variations but finally I got one that I liked whilst in the shower just a few minutes ago.  Again, I found this lyric in a batch of papers in a box in the garage.  It dates from around 1988 or so.  I don’t think I’d ever got around to writing a tune for it.  But in reading it, I just liked the structure and especially the rhyme scheme and it really only took about twenty minutes to do the tune, which just sort of flew out of my fingers.  I’m still pondering, but because I like what it has to say and the tune is pretty cute, well, perhaps we’ll debut it at Kritzerland 100, as it’s kind of perfect for Daniel Bellusci.  So, here’s the lyric, with the little adjustments I’ve been doing to it since finding it.


When things get too boring

When my life could use a pick-me-up

When I’m in the dumps and stuck in a rut

I’m so dull they’re snoring

Robbers wouldn’t even stick me up

I’m immobile – can’t get off of my butt

When your song is atonal

When the words are all wrong

Change your tune

Try something snappier

Find your rhymes

And times are happier

When doubts cling it’s time to sing a new song


When I’m in the doldrums

And it seems I’ve lost the spirit now

All I do is sit and stare at my feet

Time to find those old drums

Make some noise so you can hear it now

Life’s much better when it’s got a good beat

When the tune is unwieldy

And refrains are too long

Get the strings

To soar and take me up

Tell the brass

To roar and wake me up

Bells won’t ring until you sing a new song


When everything seems to be flat

Change the key to B sharp

If your nerves are like xylophones banging away

You can soften ‘em up with a harp

If your tempo has slowed to a crawl

If andante is all that you’ve got

If the whole notes are slowing you – dragging you down

Try some eighth notes and give ‘em a dot

You’ll like it a lot



When I’m feeling antsy

When my world’s about to come apart

And my self-esteem’s impossibly low

When I simply can’t see

Life is saying “Tear the bum apart”

Like Monopoly, I can’t seem to pass “Go”

Try a catchy new tune now

Sing it loud, sing it strong

Set the beat

Then keep on changing it

Life’s a chart

So start arranging it

If you swing the crowds will sing right along

Take the fling

It’s time to sing

A new song


Isn’t that perky?  Anyway, as noted, I thought about going back to the DMV site but I just couldn’t do anymore.  Perhaps just before I go to bed I’ll take a quick gander at the DMV book again.

Today, I’ll be up by ten and I’ll spend at least ninety minutes going through the DMV stuff, then I’ll shave and shower and mosey on over to the DMV for my two o’clock appointment.  Hopefully, I will pass, and I have all the necessary papers for the Real ID.  Again, please send your strongest and most excellent vibes and xylophones for passing the test and having everything go smoothly.  After that, I’ll go to the bank and do stuff I have to do there, I’ll hopefully pick up some packages, and I’ll eat something fun.  Then I’m sure I’ll need to relax.  In the evening, I’ll probably stop by a birthday party for Alexa and her sister Mia at some restaurant.

Tomorrow, I’m seeing a matinee of some ten-minute plays at the Group Rep, and then I’m quite certain there will be a meal after that. I don’t think anything is on for Sunday, and that’s fine by me.  Then next week is very busy.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, study the DMV stuff for at least ninety minutes, take a written test with everything hopefully going smoothly, do some banking, hopefully pick up some packages, eat, and attend a birthday partay.  Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Friday – what is currently in your CD player and your DVD/Blu and Ray player?  I’ll start – CD, more music of Paul Graener, quite the opposite of Panufnik, I must say.  Blu-ray, The Andromeda Strain, a new transfer that is miles ahead of the previous Blu-ray transfer.  Your turn. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, hopeful that I will pass the DMV test and everything will go smoothly.

Search BK's Notes Archive:
© 2001 - 2019 by Bruce Kimmel. All Rights Reserved