Haines Logo Text
Column Archive
September 30, 2019:


Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, has anyone here noticed that it’s the last day of September?  How did that happen?  And tomorrow will be a month I like to call October, the tenth month.  And it is my fervent hope and prayer that October will be a month filled with health, wealth, happiness, creativity, and all things bright and beautiful.  Now, for the second time in four months, I went and bought a box of egg and onion matzoh from my nearby Gelson’s, since it’s a Jewish holiday, I figured I should maybe eat something that was a Jew thing.  I also bought a tiny bit of chopped liver.  Now, four months ago I bought a box of matzohs – this very kind and brand, Manischewitz.  I got it home and opened the box.  The matzohs inside are sealed in plastic (they didn’t used to be).  I opened the plastic and it smelled like I’d just sprayed pesticide in the room.  I took a couple of bites and they kind of tasted like they’d been sprayed with pesticide, not that I know what pesticide tastes like.  I took the box back, the manager smelled them, pronounced them stale and gave me a credit for them.  I figured four months later there was no way they hadn’t gotten a new batch in, so I bought ‘em and brought ‘em home.  And guess what?  Same deal – pesticide matzohs.  Again, I took two bites – I should have spit them out, but swallowed it – thankfully small bites.  So, that box will go back tomorrow but this time I’m going to tell them that if they don’t remove all boxes of this kind of matzoh with the same expiry date, that I will simply contact Gelson’s corporate and tell them about it, because someone’s going to actually eat some of these and get really ill.  I am going to buy a box at Ralph’s just to check and see what’s what.  And there you have the Curious Case of the Matzohs with Pesticide.

Yesterday was a day in which I got a little over eight hours of sleep.  Then I dealt with a few e-mails, had a long telephonic call, did some work at the piano and the computer, then went and picked up a couple of Sunday packages.  For food, I went to the Studio City Gelson’s and got some enchiladas from the hot food bar, and also some Impossible Rigatoni.  I’ve always liked their rigatoni Bolognese – quite tasty – this is the Impossible version, with bushes disguised as meat and supposedly no one can tell the difference.

I came home and tried the Impossible Rigatoni.  I think the people who say that Impossible meat is exactly like real meat are delusional.  This stuff tastes rank, like bush-shaped meat bits.  It made me want to vomit on the ground, frankly, so I stopped eating it.  Then I ate the enchiladas – they weren’t as good as usual, but they weren’t bad or anything.

After that, I began listening to music, all sorts.  The best of it was the two Brahms piano concertos in absolutely stellar performances by conductor George Szell and pianist Leon Fleisher.  I had the Szell/Serkin versions and these best those easily.  And the sound is stunning.  The concertos are just wonderful – as you know, of all the old boys, Brahms is my favorite.  I just love his tunes.  A lovely cello concerto by Herbert Howells, a classic Bartok program conducted by Ferenc Fricsay in monophonic sound.  And lots of other interesting stuff.  So far, I’d say there’s only been one total disaster in terms of something I found completely irritating, and that was a composer called Paul Dessau – just strident, annoying stuff.

Then I did the second Gelson’s run and you know the result of that.  The bit of chopped liver was fine, and I had a tiny bit of seafood salad.  I listened to more music, had two more telephonic calls, and that was pretty much it.

Today, we continue our search for a new leading player and a new gal for What If.  I’ll also work at the piano and on the computer, I’ll eat, I’ll hopefully pick up some packages, and then at some point, I’ll relax.

The rest of the week is more of the same, some auditions for the leading player, seeing a show, and several meetings and meals. A busy week it will be, but I shall navigate it with great energy and elan, I will prance about like a faerie sprite, which is, of course, a double faerie, I shall dance in the streets with gay abandon, and I shall be a treat to be around.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, continue searching for a new leading player, search for a new What If gal, although if we don’t find one we’ll simply do the stuff with four rather than five and it will work just fine, I’ll work at the piano and the computer, I’ll eat, I’ll hopefully pick up packages, and then I’ll relax.  Today’s topic of discussion: Have you ever bought food you thought was fresh only to find out it was rotten?  Did you accidentally eat any of the rotten food, and then what did you do about it?  Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, hoping to never again buy a box of Pesticide Matzoh.

Search BK's Notes Archive:
© 2001 - 2019 by Bruce Kimmel. All Rights Reserved